SRS G/F is going through impossibly trying times. What to do?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by SigmaNuClay, Aug 1, 2008.

  1. SigmaNuClay

    SigmaNuClay I'll show you my nunchuk...

    Joined:
    Jun 2, 2001
    Messages:
    18,227
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Dallas
    Ok so I've been with my g/f for about a year and a half. I love her more than anything. She totally understands me and cares about every part of me, and I feel the same way about her.

    This last Christmas ('07) she found out that the company she was working for was laying off their entire marketing team nationwide, effective 2 weeks from then (about a week before Christmas). That really shook her up, but she worked her way through it and found another job working for the marketing firm that does all of RJ Reynolds (Camel and Kool cigarettes) promotions and impact events. It paid about the same as her last job was working ok so far.

    Then about a month or so into it, she finds out that RJ Reynolds has just decided to cut their marketing budget in half and she now has to fire half of the team she just spent over a month hiring and training. Then a week or so later, they inform her that if she wants to stay with the company, she'll have to take a $15,000/yr pay cut and agree to a different job description than she originally was hired for. She agreed, because she needed the job, but it didnt' work out.

    Now she's been out of work for a month or so, and has been denied unemployment benefits. She's at the point now where she's far enough behind on her car loan that they're going to repossess her car if she doesn't pay at least $500 by 7 PM tonite, then another $500 in 7 days, and another 7 days after that. She just got done squeezing july's rent out of nowhere, about 10 or more days late, and now of course it's time to pay for August.

    She has several prospective jobs in the works, but nothing firm yet. If her car gets repoed, she won't be able to perform the necessary duties of any of the jobs she's lined up, and she'll probably not be considered for many other jobs she thinks. I don't make a ton of money, and don't really have anything I can do to help her.

    She has basically lost all hope at this point because her family won't help her at all. Her dad has a lot of money, but he won't call her back or email her. She doesn't have a good relationship with her Mom, and her brother doesn't have any money either. She's pretty much all alone.

    I am running out of ways to keep her positive and holding on. Everything is looking pretty grim, and final. She keeps basically arguing with me about how she knows things just aren't going to work out for her, and how much of a failure she feels likes. I don't want to argue with her and I don't want her to do something drastic like try to kill herself or I dunno what. What do I do here? I'm at a complete loss. I love this woman. I want to be with her always. Please help!
     
  2. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2008
    Messages:
    23,516
    Likes Received:
    18
    Location:
    SoCal
    It's only money.

    Stay healthy.
     
  3. anked

    anked New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2005
    Messages:
    19
    Likes Received:
    0
    Take out a small personal loan? Normally not something that would be such a good idea, but it would probably work. You'd have to do it though most likely.
     
  4. Paulie Walnuts

    Paulie Walnuts Im an agent of chaos

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2003
    Messages:
    29,716
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Twin Tities, MN
    Im not trying to be insensitive here but:

    1. I spent a weekend in jail for a domestic I didnt do.
    2. Ive got $22k in credit card debt I can only make the minimum payments on.
    3. I have $50k in student loans Im about to default on.
    4. My wife left me and we are starting a divorce.
    5. Im renting a room at my brothers place.
    6. I have no furniture. I have a bed, tv, nightstand and a dresser.
    7. I went from making $75k+ a year to a shitty base of $37k (with commissions its about $50k.
    8. Im in therapy for all this shit.
    9. Im on 4 different medications.
    10. I think about suicide weekly.
    11. Im good at my job, very good, but I dont like it.
    12. Ive lost 60 pounds and have virtually no clothing that fits me and cannot afford new.
    13. I come home every night to a computer and thats it.
    14. My dog died.
    15. My Grandmother died.
    16. Most of our mutual friends, all but 2 have abandoned me.
    17. It will take me at least 6 years to even get close to getting out of this financially.
    18. Cant exactly date and bring women home to a place with nothing.
    19. Im starting to sell off possessions to pay rent.
    Tell her to get fucking over it. Im still here.
     
  5. HatSee

    HatSee Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2005
    Messages:
    37,183
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Alberta
    Make her move in with you, that way they don't know where the car is to repo it, and it helps with rent. If she is getting a job anyway, if not then don't do this or you'll just support her.

    Or cut and run, it's what most people do these days.

    As for killing herself, her issues are rather small so it would be a bad idea, if she actually does it then I don't know what to say. But it's not really an issue I would think.
     
  6. Striker22

    Striker22 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2007
    Messages:
    11,060
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    hell
    Well, i would step up and help her pay knowing how strong the relationship is if you have the funds ? She will be up on her feet as soon as she hits the job, so this is only a temporary worry. Better think fast though..
     
  7. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2005
    Messages:
    97,795
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Calgary, AB
    I wouldn't call it impossibly trying, but it is rough. In any event, it's only money and possessions, so worst case scenario isn't that bad.
     
  8. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

    Joined:
    May 5, 2005
    Messages:
    16,539
    Likes Received:
    5
    Location:
    KRAPROOM
    there are worse things and her life will get better.

    but she should take this as a wake-up call to have an emergency fund. Being out of work for a month or two shouldn't make you in such financial stress that your car gets repoed. Most experts advise 6 months of expenses in an emergency fund and with the economy the way it is, most are now saying 9-12 months.
     
  9. Ameter

    Ameter Active Member

    Joined:
    Mar 31, 2005
    Messages:
    97,795
    Likes Received:
    1
    Location:
    Calgary, AB
    :werd:
     
  10. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 6, 2006
    Messages:
    32,407
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    OKC
    You know...desperate times demand desperate measures.

    Has she considered working as a waiter or bartender? They can make good money in short periods of time and still have plenty of time to search/apply for another PR job. What about working 2-3 part time jobs?

    Out of curiosity, what is the year, make and model of her car? If it's anything other than a 10 year old beater....she needs to sell that fucker fast! If it's a 2 year old car, she should sell it even faster.
     

Share This Page