SRS g/f dumped me christmas eve, turned into a psycho...

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by yawgmoth, Jan 13, 2006.

  1. yawgmoth

    yawgmoth nine > ten OT Supporter

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    So...We went out for 1 1/2 years, she breaks up with me as she goes to college. 4 months later, she gets back with me, 1 month later, break up, 1 month later, gets back, 8 months later, breaks up with me ON CHRISTMAS EVE!
    why? All I've gotten is a mix of "I have mixed feelings" "I never really loved you, I forced it" "I just don't feel the same anymore" -all three different reasons, and any attempt by me to get a real explantion is a bad deal....she just turns into a cold bitch, refuses to listen to anything I say, whether I'm nice and calm about it, sad and...wussy, or pissed and attacking....
    She was this way everytime we broke up, and when we get back together she just talks abouthow dumb she was.
    Here is an example of a aim conversation we had(which I initiated becuase she started chatting wtih my brother on my computer)


    bruhz(12:51:39 AM): So why the big chip on your shoulder when it comes to me?
    Allust (12:52:26 AM): i don't see any chips here
    bruhzz (12:52:37 AM): of course, why you want too see that?
    bruhz (12:54:10 AM): much easier to belive you are right to be so fucking cold to me, to get pissed off that I would wantto know why it's so easy for you to just say "fuck it"
    bruhz(12:55:15 AM): I would have figured I deserved something better from you
    Allus (12:55:38 AM): oh bruh
    bruh (12:55:53 AM): I know I know "I dont' know what to say to you bruh"
    bruhz (12:56:00 AM): you never know, unless it's good news
    bruh (12:56:15 AM): when bad things happen "you don't know why" and then thats the end of it
    bruhz (12:56:18 AM): and it's not fair
    Allust (12:56:32 AM): BYE!
    bruh(12:56:36 AM): EXACTLY
    bruh (12:56:39 AM): COWARD


    So....basically everything I said was true, and I pratically nailed it to her on the forehead witht hat conversation.
    *sigh*....Iknow she's hiding....turning into a rock to deal with me, but it pisses me off! She won't open up and let me know what's really going on, or try to fix it or anything....she deals with problems in the worst way....
     
  2. PuppyCat

    PuppyCat O.T. Mom

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    Forget it. Just forget her. Why beat yourself up?
     
  3. ebbnflo

    ebbnflo REAL- LAOT Hermit

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    All that stuff you listed as her excuses are SO so common. I think she is pulling away because you are pushing. IF the young lady actually does want to be with you, then you probably can increase the chances of that happening by just laying off, and doing the things that make YOU happy, that don't involve her. That way, if she does end up deciding there is no way you can be together, at least you will have gained the knowledge on how to live happily w/o her.
     
  4. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Stop being her chew toy. She doesn't respect you - that much is obvious. You deserve someone who does, so cut her out of your life and move on. Do you really want to be with someone to whom you're not "worth it"?
     
  5. verveintuition

    verveintuition New Member

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    I agree that you should move on with your life - without her.

    And when she comes asking to get back with you, as she's proven to do, then kindly tell her "Thanks, but no thanks. Bu-Bye." :eek4: Refuse to talk to her.


    She may not know what she wants, but it sounds like you do. You want a girl who respects and loves you.
    Go dating elsewhere. If anything, just to see what's out there. :wiggle:
     
  6. yawgmoth

    yawgmoth nine > ten OT Supporter

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    I agree with what you all said, and for the most part aside from occasioanl breaking points where I invoke this hellish conversation, I am moving on and all. I'd like to say I could just refuse to talkto her, if she ever snaps out of it, but I have this idea that love...is something special, eternal, etc etc. We were great as a couple, but she just....does this.....I don't get it.
     
  7. Rodthrower18

    Rodthrower18 New Member

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    I've been in your shoes before, or at least very close to. Try not to place such an importance on understanding why she did what she did, just accept that she did it. As hard as it is, with this kind of girl the best thing to do for your own sake is "out of sight out of mind", get rid of numbers,email addy's,chat sn's the whole 9, do as much as you can to remove her from your life as much as you can. It will slowly get better because she wont be on your mind, and quite frankly you wont care.
     
  8. yawgmoth

    yawgmoth nine > ten OT Supporter

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    rod, thats pretty much what I've done now, aside from the last conversation in which I saught her out..I'm gonna just avoid her. they say if you love something, let it go...it it comes back, blah blah blah.
     
  9. Gladiator

    Gladiator Guest

    she doesn't know what she wants, she might have some serious trust issues, you really never know, but if she chooses to push you away like that there must be a reason. Don't get back with her...its obviously not what she wants as of now, or the last couple of months/years. You can stay friends if that is what you want. Shes the problem, not you.
     
  10. yawgmoth

    yawgmoth nine > ten OT Supporter

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    I'm gonna just let her be...I usually never know what is wrong with her until a month or so afterwards at least when this happened before...it sucks.
     
  11. yawgmoth

    yawgmoth nine > ten OT Supporter

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    how long have you two been doing this? this is our third time with the whole "get the fuck off my porch I don't love you" run at it....

    Must have some sort of psychological problem....gotta find it, dig it out
     
  12. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Love is something special. It can be eternal. However, you can love someone without being IN love with them, such as loving members of your family - generally speaking you would love them unconditionally. It can also apply to a person with whom you once shared a meaningful relationship. Being in love is what you want in a romantic relationship, though, and that takes two to succeed because both of you need to work at it. You can still love your ex, but move on with your life. You deserve a chance to find a relationship where being in love is something in which you both put effort to maintain so that both of you can enjoy it and reap the rewards.
     
  13. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    I would like to address the "she broke up with me on Christmas Eve" issue (or Valentine's Day, or whatever).

    Would you feel better if she had waited a few days? No.

    Important events like holidays can be the "straw that broke the camel's back" so its not really surprising that a lot of breakups happen during holidays or other special occasions.
     
  14. SeeVinceRun

    SeeVinceRun Currently In Prison OT Supporter

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    Dear lord - this female sounds like she has some self-esteem issues and needs to take out her mental insecurities on someone who she knows will let her get away with it.

    Case in point:

    She belittles you, you take her back.
    She tells you aweful things, you take her back
    She has no respect for the relationship, you take her back

    It sounds to me like you need to cut ties with this girl. She sounds like she has trouble dealing with problems and too much pride to ask for help. Let her go.
     
  15. yawgmoth

    yawgmoth nine > ten OT Supporter

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    notstock-the truth in what you said cut me in half almost...cripes...

    I was thinking, alot of people have said that as well that she has "self-esteem issues" and insecurities and things of that nature....care to explain? I'm usually very perceptive, but this has skewered my view a bit...

    and...as I continue on my path without her, letting her go and what not...I still have faith that she is a good person, just lost in problems of her own, I've been there before, although I never went to this length to push anybody away...
     
    Last edited: Jan 18, 2006
  16. SeeVinceRun

    SeeVinceRun Currently In Prison OT Supporter

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    People with very low self esteem or a low image of self worth tend to do certain things. A major one of these things is to berate and try to cut-down those around them. Instead of trying to overcome thier problems and grow as a person, they simply try to get everyone around them lower than they are. This is done, in your case, through harsh actions and harser words.

    Does this mean she is a bad person? No. Does it make you a bad person for cutting your losses and removing yourself from an aweful and hurtful situation? No. Does this mean you need to step away from the situation before it does permanent damage to your self-esteem? Yes.

    Let her go.
     
  17. yawgmoth

    yawgmoth nine > ten OT Supporter

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    she's been let go, I just am a dreamer, I'd like to hold a hope somewher einside me that things will work out, but at this point my main aspiration is to move on
     

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