FWB - How the hell is this supposed to work?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Arkaybee, Dec 8, 2008.

  1. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

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    So there is this coworker (we work in different departments, different buildings, about a 20 min freeway drive, no traffic. There is absolutely no contact between us so I don't want to hear about dipping my pen in the company ink) that has taken an interest in me. One of my friends, who I do work with, kinda set us up. We started talking over interoffice IM then she asked if I wanted to hang out at her place and watch some movies. I said sure and we made plans.

    I went over there and we ordered pizza and started watching movies, MST3000 style. During the second movie we were already cuddling and then started making out. We started fooling around then she asked if I wanted to move it into the bedroom. I told her that I wanted to, but I didn't even know her and that we weren't going to have sex. She said ok and we kept making out/fooling around. She then gets up and grabs two condoms then says "Just in case... ;)"

    About a week later we were hanging out again and she said "To tel you the truth, I am just looking for FWB. I have always been in a relationship and just want to play the field. I think we should be able to date other people but I want to keep the sexual things between just us." I told her that I didn't want to have sex again until I got married because of somet things that went on in my life before hand with my exwife. She said that was ok but wanted to at least continue fooling around.

    So we hang out a bit more, about twice a week and she wants to keep this up but she is making future plans to hang out and tells me all the time that she is having :naughty: thoughts and wants me to come over bla bla bla.

    My question is how this is supposed to work out. I thought that FWB was just hooking up like one a week for a booty call? And to tell the Vaginarium the truth, I don't think I can keep this up because I WANT to be in an emotionally involved realtionship while doing all this. Thoughts?
     
  2. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    IF you can't keep it non-emotional, then don't do it. You'll only end up hurting
     
  3. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

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    I can keep it non-emotional, but it seems like such a waste of my time since I want to be in a realtionship. I'm not developing feelings for her and i doubt she is for me as well
     
  4. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Hmm. Maybe she was expecting:

    - sex twice without leaving the couch in between

    - one of them might be messed up and she didn't want to leave to get another one

    - you to wear two American Pie style
     
  5. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    You like her, otherwise you would be ok with FWB.

    The only chick I've had FWB with was because I didn't like her enough to have a relationship. She was hot, but I didn't think we would be compatible on a long term basis so I didn't even bother. After 6 months she was like "I want a relationship with you!" and I made up some excuse about why i couldn't be in a relationship then (because it's always an excuse, if you like someone, you make a relationship possible... I just didn't like her). I think I said "I'm too busy with work right now blah blah blah." :mamoru:
     
  6. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

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    Im going with this one
     
  7. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    If you are looking for a serious relationship, then this is not the girl you should be spending your time with.

    Personally, though, I think you should rethink it and just get your dick wet man. :dunno:
     
  8. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Why would you pass up a FWB proposal?

    Sex with no strings attached... sounds good to me.

    You can continue dating other women, while getting some action on the side.
     
  9. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    I've asked this before, but not sure if I've ever gotten an answer.

    How the hell do you establish a FWB situation? Are you upfront about it or do you just kind of start fucking one day and it just happens?
     
  10. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    I don't get people sometimes.

    Their is nothing wrong with sex as pleasure.
     
  11. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

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    This is what my friends said as well, but I don't want to have meaningless sex with someone. I know that must sound pretty pathetic but I must be one of those few guys that likes being in a relationship and wants to reserve sex/fooling around for an emotionally involved relationship :hs:
     
  12. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    then dont do it. even if you dont see yourself being in a relationship with her, you just stated that you want the sex to be a part of an emotionally involved relationship, which is not what she wants
     
  13. Potski

    Potski what?

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    Say you're not interested
     
  14. Ideotique

    Ideotique Drinking on monday nights does not make me an alco

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    Personally I think you're mad, but you have much stronger morals than me (mine are reminiscent of an alley cat) so kudos for that.

    If you want sex to be more than just physical for your own reasons then I can respect that and so should she. Just send her over this way.
     
  15. Memopad

    Memopad OT Supporter

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    For me it just kind of happened. Girl in the dorms a few years ago would always come over and want to hang out with me. I can't remember how it progressed into a physical thing but it did. Everytime she came over i'd tell her i didn't want a relationship with her, she'd say ok and then we'd fool around. Probably went on for a couple months or so. We never kissed. We did everything but kiss, kind of funny actually.

    Now that i look back on it i was kind of an ass to her. I'd ask her to leave when we were done and tell her i had other things to do, generally ignore her if i wasn't in the mood or had other things to do, etc. She kept comming back though :o Really simple since she lived two doors down...

    Oh and then there was this other girl that lived right next to me. Nearly the exact same story with her, always came over, wanted me over, messed around, never kissed.

    I miss college :sadwavey:
     
  16. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    I don't find it pathetic. Your choice is your choice, and I respect that.

    I personally have had FWB's a couple times before with women that I had great connections with. We all had fun and no one got hurt, so I would do it again with no problem. Also ironically, both women went on to get married after our special arrangement. Sometimes you just need a piece of ass and no one is better than someone that you get along with well.
     
  17. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    your looking for something more
     
  18. Arkaybee

    Arkaybee New Member

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    She was upfront. She said that she wanted nothing more than FWB
     

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