Funny situation v.FB (but not mine)

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Potski, Aug 8, 2008.

  1. Potski

    Potski what?

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    Met a girl the other day. She's awesome blah blah blah

    She's in a 'fuck buddy' arrangement with another guy.

    We get along great, but this seems weird. She says she likes me and wants to see where our relationship goes, and the FB doesn't mean anything.


    So this is how it feels on the other side :rofl:
    what would OT do?

    I want to just leave it, but it's a strange kinda situation to be in and I actually see where she's coming from. What's the right thing?
     
  2. mbv

    mbv New Member

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    since i don't know the exact situation, i'm just going to say that most girls that i've seen in a fb relationship don't have the proper emotional stability required to successfully remain completely unattached in the relationship.

    not exactly answering your question, but hopefully it helps
     
  3. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Don't know why it's so funny, or what the real issue is for that matter....

    Is the real situation that your "friend" wants a relationship with a girl who is in a FB situation? And she seems to want to take the relationship (with your friend) to a more serious level and cut off contact with the FB? And your friend is worried about getting serious with her?
     
  4. Potski

    Potski what?

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    Wirelessly posted via wap.offtopic.com (SonyEricssonK800i/R1KG Browser/NetFront/3.3 Profile/MIDP-2.0 Configuration/CLDC-1.1)

    This is my problem, not a friend's. Badly worded title i guess

    The issue is that she hasn't mentioned finishing things with him :eek3:
    This is pretty new and we're not thinking about serious things yet, but i'm worried about getting to the point where i'd want to while this is still going on. I've chatted to one of her friends a bit and it came up, she's been with him at least once since we started seeing each other :ugh:
    It's been going on for a while.. Maybe she has feelings? I don't even think he knows
     
  5. Timer

    Timer Guest

    I'd avoid it.
     
  6. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    Then you have no right to complain that she's fucking him too.
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Why should she have to mention it?

    Grab your balls for a sec......Ok good, now ask her to her face if she is still seeing said FB. Tell her if she wants to take your relationship to another level you need to know it's with you and only you.
     
  8. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    I had a friend that was a fb a few years ago. She met a guy that she really liked and told the guy about me, and told me she told him. I backed off like the gentleman that I am even though the no strings attached sex was amazing and she was a very horny girl.

    Last I heard they were getting married. I don't know if they have tied the knot yet or not.

    We haven't contacted each other since then. Even though we were really good friends. She wasn't a very good looking girl, but she had a great personality and we got along very well. This is why I believe that a straight male and straight female can't be platonic friends. I wasn't attracted to her sexually but since we got along so well we hung out a few times which eventually led to a drunken "sexy time". Since we were both single, and didn't want a relationship together it led to friends with benefits. Even though she wasn't the most attractive girl I've had sex with, I don't regret it because the awesomeness of the sex was top notch.

    I'm getting a little offtopic like always, but yeah, it can work out if the girl has an FB when she meets a guy she wants a relationship with.
     
  9. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    lol she's asking you if she can keep a guy on the side :rofl:
     
  10. Jbrown

    Jbrown OT Supporter

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    .
     
  11. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    Well, I feel that if you aren't in a exclusive relationship with this girl you have no say in the matter of whether she stays or leaves the fwb. I currently have a FWB, and if a guy liked me, I the world wouldn't stop and I wouldn't stop seeing my friend right away. Things change, the guy may be gone forever, and why stop good sex? :naughty:

    Guys pull this shit all the time with multiple girls, saying they aren't exclusive so they are free to see multiple people, so why can't a girl do the same? Everyone on here tells guys to date a few women at once until you are ready to choose(and that probably involves sex with each of them).

    If you want to make it exclusive, then I think she should stop seeing him, but if not, you are just another guy.
     
  12. dan7532

    dan7532 New Member

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    I think the key is ... if SHE wants to make it exclusive, she'll stop seeing the other guy. But as long as she's seeing that other guy, see other girls. You'll know she's interested in cutting him off and settling down with you if she starts asking YOU about what girls YOU'VE been seeing. That is, unless she's just a dirty girl who wants to swap crazy sex stories. :mamoru:

    Note: this post was made under the assumption that TS wants a committed relationship with this girl. If he does not, please let me know and I will adjust response. That's what I got out of reading the original post, but he didn't make it clear.
     
  13. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    what is the level of involvement between you and this girl?

    have you had sex?
     
  14. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    :rofl:

    So simple, yet so true.

    IF the fuckbuddy means nothing to her, then she'll have no trouble giving him up to become exclusive with you.

    However, this means you are going to have to communicate with her and tell her where you want things to go between you. If you want her as a girlfriend, then tell her that you want to be exclusive.
     
  15. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    No..... Not all girls drop everything for a guy, and no girl should. If i was interested in a new guy, I would talk to make things clear about what we both wanted, I wouldn't just drop a friend that I have amazing sex with to chase after a guy that may not what the same things I want.

    Even if i was interested in a relationship with the new guy, until it was clearly stated we were together in a exclusive relationship, I would have no problems keeping the friend around. Nobody, male or female, should stop their whole life for a new potential SO.

    :dunno: thats just my 2cents after spending too much time waiting for guys and things never happened...
     
  16. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    If you want to get technical, spending time with a fuck buddy is wasted time as well and it's turning those "potential" guys off to you (as well as making you look like a slut) all because you are too afraid to be alone. ;)
     
  17. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    so as soon as you get one or two successful dates with a girl, you stop talking to every other female out there ?


    if not in a relationship, there's nothing suggesting that you two are monogamist.

    The only way I would be a little mad is if it starts to get serious and she only has like 2 nights a week free, but still decides to spend one with the random dude.
     
  18. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    My statement was not about monogamy.

    My statement was how having a fuckbuddy just because you aren't in a relationship is technically a waste of your time.

    I'm not against having a fuckbuddy (heck, I'd do it if I could figure out how the fuck to initiate it :mamoru:). I'm just saying that it seems like people are so afraid of being alone that they resort to wasted "relationships" like this which actually detract from their chances when a real relationship comes along.

    If your fuckbuddy is causing you issues with the people you date, then it's time to drop your fuckbuddy. Even if the people you date don't pan it, being alone and not get sex isn't going to fucking kill you. :hsugh:

    My point is about the priorities themselves. The whole point of a fuckbuddy is a sex with no strings attached situation. Surely a fuckbuddy would understand that you are trying to "date" now and would understand if you stopped so that you could see how things work out.

    Else, you are just bullshitting yourself and you are actually in a relationship with someone but not calling it that...you call it a "fuckbuddy".
     
  19. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    So guys can do this, and it doesn't make them look slutty? Again, the double standard for guys and girls, and it shouldn't be that way. If a guy can't accept that I do have sex and like having it, he is a waste of time, space, and energy. It's not wasted, the fwb i have now is a good friend, we just have sex as well, which is an awesome added bonus. It's not that I'm afraid to be alone, its just I want sex and I'm not in a relationship at the moment. And it's not like I have a million guys I am sleeping with, its just one.



    And if having a fwb messes up potential dates, then screw him, its not like hes probably doing the exact same thing anyways. And I don't think you understood before what I brought up about guys dating a few girls at once. And all those girls don't care that you are sleeping with three girls at once? Or is that not how you do it? You find one girl and cling to her and drop every other potential person that comes along?
     
  20. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    i agree with Viper.

    @ lookinglassalic: a guy having FBs makes him just as much of a slut as a woman having FBs.

    Anyway, i'd disqualify a girl as LTR material if i found out she had FBs when we were dating. At the same time I wouldnt have an FB if I was dating a girl i thought had LTR potential.

    that's just me tho :dunno:
     
  21. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    1. No, it makes guys just as "slutty". Unfortunately for you, a girl, society doesn't look down on a guy for being a slut. That's life, deal with it.

    2. It is wasted. He is not a friend. He is a guy who has discovered a way to get sex without putting any of the effort into building a relationship with you and you are the girl dumb enough to let this continue, hence, you really ARE a slut.

    3. You are a afraid to be alone, or else you would reserve your sexuality for someone you actually care about and forsee something happening with and future with. You said it yourself, you want sex but aren't in a relationship. So rather than prepare youself and seek a relationship, you are wasting your time having sex.

    And hey, like I said, I don't see nothing wrong with it. I just think you are a whiney bitch for complaining about not having a relationship while you have a fuckbuddy. You can't have your cake and eat it too. You are afraid of being alone. And you can't go without sex long enough to find a guy who cares about you. This makes you a slut, regardless of how many guys you are or are not sleeping with. ;) I'm not attacking you, btw, I'm just being honest.

    With that kind of shitty attitude (then screw him!) it's no wonder you've convinced yourself to settle for a guy who just wants pussy with no strings attached. Perhaps if you valued yourself a little more you wouldn't have to have a fuckbuddy to give you sex. You'd be getting sex from the guys who actualy gave a shit about you.

    And again, this isn't a "guys vs. girls" arguement. A guy doing it makes what I've said no less true for him. It's society you have to blame for the double standard, not me.

    And no, that's not how I do it. I don't find one girl and cling to her and drop every other potential person that comes along. But you aren't talking about "potential people". You are talking about being afraid of dropping your fuckbuddy. Big difference. In essence what you are saying is that you want a relationship, but you don't want to take the risks involved with dating and relationships, and THEN you want to sit back and blame the world because it's unfair.

    You want a relationship, then go get you a relationship and don't stop until you find it. Or you can continue to have your fuckbuddy and only offer any potential guy that comes along a mere piece of yourself. Your choice. Doesn't make much of a shit to me. ;)
     
  22. kackel champion

    kackel champion faces always are changing lies and disguise for th

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    the 2 fb's i've had for years both got married and engaged right around the same time, so i had to go find a new one :hs:
     
  23. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    lol... I love how you assume so much about me. I'm not lonely at all, I have tons of friends and such, I just don't want to have a relationship right now, I have other things to concentrate on, and I don't need a guy trying to tell me what to do and such, I am concentrating on myself. And if you assume all guys are the same, just wanting to get in a girls pants, you are wrong. He is in the same position I am in, not wanted a relationship atm. We are still good friends, we still hang out without having sex every single time. He's been to rescue me from things more times than I can count, and when someone drops things to come help, I think that means they do care the slightest bit.

    And thanks for calling me a whiny bitch, I never stated that I was actively looking for a relationship and complaining about not finding one. I've never stated anything about the world being "unfair" because I can't have a fwb and a relationship at the sime time, you are taking things to extreme.

    And I don't think of myself as slutty. I am open about myself and my body, and sex happens to come along with it. It's not something that should be locked up and taken out in occasion. Society has us all screwed with the ideal that you should have sex with marriage, or else you are a bad person. I guess in all honestly I am sorry that you view sex like a 40 yr old mother. I am going to have fun while I am alive, and if that means that I have sex because I like it and it feels good, then so be it. (and its not like I sleep around, its with one person) And if someone wants to look down on me for it, thats their ignorance.
     
  24. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Well there you go. You've made your decision. You don't WANT a relationship right now (and to be fair, you put words in MY mouth too assuming that I thought it was ok for a guy to do it ;)).

    Just so you know that it's a CHOICE you make. You can CHOOSE to have a fuck buddy OR you can CHOOSE to have a relationship. When the time comes that you WANT a relationship you will have to leave your fuckbuddy behind and start seeking a relationship. Which is a risk, I know, and means you are going to have to risk being alone to do it. ;)

    That's all I'm saying.

    Ok, so maybe I did. :dunno:

    Having a fuck buddy IS slutty. And sleeping around IS slutty. Don't bullshit yourself.

    Now, the decision we make is whether or not we are ok with that and it's ok to be slutty. And I think it's perfectly fine to want to be slutty.

    Just stop bullshitting yourself into thinking it's not slutty, because it is.
     
  25. coldstone

    coldstone New Member

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    Just enjoy the sex, brew.
     

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