funny bdr story

Discussion in 'Fitness & Nutrition' started by bigdamray, Aug 28, 2008.

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  1. bigdamray

    bigdamray New Member

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    Everyone knows that I'm in bed by 9:00pm. I turn my porch light out as well so no one will disturb me. Tuesday night at 11:30pm, someone knocks on my door. My dog starts barking and going crazy. I jump up so fast that I pulled my cpap machine off of the nightstand. I grab my 12 guage remington 870 and run to the fromt door in my undies. I open the door and there's this punk ass kid standing there. You should have seen the scared ass look on his face. He was about to piss his pants. He says "Is Karen here?" I said "Karen is busy right now so get the fuck off of my property!" He tore ass out of my yard so quick! So then, all the lights are still off in my house. I go to the kitchen to give my dog a treat for being a good puppy and guarding the house. Well, I had a glass of crystal light sitting on the counter. When I reached for the treat jar I knocked the glass off of the counter. Crystal light got all over me, the fridge and the floor. I was not happy. If I ever see that kid again I will choke slam him!!
     
  2. Lukkie

    Lukkie OT Supporter

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    pics of you in your underwear holding your gun with a glass of crystal light on your head :x:
     
  3. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    Is there even a Karen at your house?
     
  4. Lukkie

    Lukkie OT Supporter

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    maybe you should have said "yes shes here, come in" and see how he reacted
     
  5. Formz

    Formz Hipster Santa OT Supporter

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    PICS OF KAREN.
     
  6. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    IS KAREN THE DOG?
     
  7. bigdamray

    bigdamray New Member

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    Oh, I have no clue who the hell Karen is!!
     
  8. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    :bowrofl::bowrofl::bowrofl: I was hoping you would respond with that.
     
  9. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    :bowrofl: The kid probably got scared cuz he thought the dog opened the door and started yelling at him, until he tilted his head way down to see that someone was actually there.
     
  10. Pringles

    Pringles New Member

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    would've been better to say. Hold on let me finish she'll be out in 3.
     
  11. Patrick Bateman

    Patrick Bateman Active Member

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    where do you live that if someone knocks on your door you gotta take a gun out bro?
     
  12. PurEvl

    PurEvl going out gassed and not half assed...

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    Everyone knows that I'm in my bunk bed by 9:00pm(bottom of course). I turn my porch light out as well so no one will rob me. Tuesday night at 11:30pm, someone knocks on my door. My ferret starts chriping and shit and going crazy. I jump up so fast that I reach way up and pull my cpap machine off of the nightstand. I grab my pumpmaster 760 bb repeater and run to the front door in my diaper and walker. I look through the doggie door(its easier then jumping for door knob) and there's this sweet ass kid standing there. You should have seen the tight ass on this fresh muffin. I was about to jizz my pants. He says is bdr the boyman slayer here I said thank you my father lord in heave! He tore my ass out so quick! So then, all the lights are still off in my house. I go to the kitchen to give my ferret a treat for being a good anal cave dweller and guarding my prostate. Well, I had a glass of sunny d sitting on the counter. When I reached for the treat jar ( it was way the fuck up on the 4' counter top) I knocked the glass off of the counter. Sunny D got all over the top of my head, the fridge and the floor. I was happy still though since i just got slammed and now i was sticky and sweet to boot. If I ever see that kid again I will marry him!!!!



    Sorry ray just to easy :rofl: :love:
     
  13. BarbaraWaltersPegleg

    BarbaraWaltersPegleg Irish Guido

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    It was all a dream
     
  14. bigdamray

    bigdamray New Member

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    I don't have to, I just HATE to be disturbed. I'm going to post a sign on my door that says "If I don't personally know you and I don't know that you're coming over, then get the fuck off of my property or die!!"
     
  15. Patrick Bateman

    Patrick Bateman Active Member

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    :rofl: dont you have a job mike, fuck :rofl:
     
  16. BarbaraWaltersPegleg

    BarbaraWaltersPegleg Irish Guido

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    HOLEEE FUCK:rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl: SIG TIME

     
  17. Patrick Bateman

    Patrick Bateman Active Member

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    i totally agree, if i didnt live in jersey and it didnt take 5 years to even apply for a gun id have one too. i hate this faggot fucking state.
     
  18. bigdamray

    bigdamray New Member

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    :rofl::rofl::rofl::rofl:
     
  19. PurEvl

    PurEvl going out gassed and not half assed...

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    :rofl: wtf else am i gonna be able to do that to someone who can squat a grand and not get housed
     
  20. giz

    giz Active Member

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    pur :bowrofl:
     
  21. hootpie

    hootpie New Member

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    That's where I lost it :rofl::rofl::rofl:
     
  22. Mike McDermott

    Mike McDermott It's evolution, baby. OT Supporter

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    wtf :rofl::rofl::rofl:
     
  23. jmezz

    jmezz layin in bed stretchin my pumped quads for hours

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    :bowrofl:
     
  24. Hood Moses

    Hood Moses I part the Black Seas...

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    Fuck :rofl:
     
  25. keeler

    keeler New Member

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    :bowdown::rofl::bowdown::rofl:
     
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