funniest thing EVER!!

Discussion in 'Fitness & Nutrition' started by bigdamray, Apr 4, 2008.

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  1. bigdamray

    bigdamray New Member

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    When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello." I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?" Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f......ing number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up. I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It always cheered me up. When Caller, ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're familiar with our Caller, ID Program?" He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" and hung up. One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window, so I wrote down his number. A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole , too. I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" He said, "Yes, it is." I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?" He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd., in Fairfax. It's a yellow Rambler, and the car's parked right out in front." I asked, "What's your name?" He said, "My name is Don Hansen," I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" He said, "I'm home every evening after five." I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?" He said, "Yes?" I said, "Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call. Then I came up with an idea. I called asshole 1. He said, "Hello." I said, "You're an asshole!"(But I didn't hang up.) He asked, "Are you till there?" I said, "Yeah," He screamed, " Stop calling me," I said, "Make me," He asked, "Who are you?" I said , "My name is Don Hansen." He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?" I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd., in Fairfax, it's a yellow rambler and I have a black Beamer parked in front." He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers." I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up. Then I called Asshole 2. He said, "Hello?" I said, "Hello, asshole." He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..." I said, "You'll what?" He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass!" I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now." Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34 Oaktree Blvd., in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax. I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew. NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work.
     
  2. kilian

    kilian You've got quite a treasure there in that Horadric OT Supporter

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    :wtfrofl:
     
  3. Icedtea

    Icedtea New Member

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  4. PurEvl

    PurEvl going out gassed and not half assed...

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    older then you ray
     
  5. bigdamray

    bigdamray New Member

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    That's pretty old then!! :rofl:
     
  6. scent of a wookie

    scent of a wookie OT Supporter

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  7. Drewski

    Drewski New Member

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    what did we tell you about paragraphs young man!?!

    :mamoru:
     
  8. bigdamray

    bigdamray New Member

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    LOL!! I just copied and pasted that one!!
     
  9. Drewski

    Drewski New Member

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    couldn't tell, Nelson Montana ;) :p
     
  10. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    Ray, welcome to the internet.
     
  11. BarbaraWaltersPegleg

    BarbaraWaltersPegleg Irish Guido

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  12. bigdamray

    bigdamray New Member

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    You fuckers!!
     
  13. planeh

    planeh Guest

    haha, thats pretty funny


    i love how people point out how its old or a repost or of that effect. not everyone has seen everything online, most people are new to message boards, and things circulating around the internet and prevent a lot of spam and forwarded messages.

    I for one haven't seen that before and its funny to me and apparently this big guy ray.
     
  14. gsxtasyd

    gsxtasyd Lift Big........Eat Big........Sleep Big........GE

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    funny...
     
  15. grimstone

    grimstone magic murda bag OT Supporter

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    funny thats funny folks.
     
  16. kilian

    kilian You've got quite a treasure there in that Horadric OT Supporter

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    who said he was big mr. ae
     
  17. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    :ugh:
     
  18. PurEvl

    PurEvl going out gassed and not half assed...

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    oh and sorry ray...got alot of bitchs crying about off topic crap..gotta lock it.
     
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