It's 3:00pm on a gorgeous Saturday afternoon and I just popped a beer open and took a shot of bourbon. I am in such a stupor, it's ridiculous. I have absolutely no motivation to do anything. I had a great day planned out and had actually done some fun things today. Ran some errands, took the dog and my camera to the park and walked around for a bit... I then got home and found out that my ex-girlfriend is seeing another man. I know this seems crazy, right? She's my ex after all.. Well, we broke up 6 days ago It was more or less my idea to break it off. I was unhappy in the relationship, tried to work things out over a long period of time, yadda, yadda, yadda. Things just never worked out for the relationship. We just clashed. I loved her and still do lover to death, we just don't work being in a relationship. I know I sound like a blubbering vagina. Not looking for any sympathy. I guess I just needed to get it out one way or another. I have no one I can talk to. I've been depressed for a while now, but this is just killing me. It's putting me so far down into a slum I can barely see a way out. I know I need to snap out of it, but I just don't know when that will occur. My Dad's a doctor so I'm thinking about asking him to put me on anti-depressants. The reason for my reluctance for doing that is that I hate using a condition as a crutch, ya know? I've always been able to handle all of my problems, do everything on my own. I'm just drowning here recently, though. Ahh! Fuck.