SRS Frustrated

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by selfpollution, Jul 2, 2005.

  1. selfpollution

    selfpollution New Member

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    I keep getting frustrated with recovery. I keep getting torn bewtween doing it on my own and going to meetings.
    I just moved and started checking out some meetings in the area and they all fucking bum me out! The ones I had been hitting up where i used to live weren't bad at all, once I found ones I was comfortable with. But so far, where I am now, It is just the pits.
    Also, I hate going to meetings and hearing about dudes that go out after like 10 or 16 years of recovery! WTF? WHy the hell would anyone do that? It makes me feel that no matter how much work I do on myself or how much progress I make, I am gonna have to be "Mr. AA" and spend all my time with this stuff until I die, which quite frankly, sucks ass. OTOH, I have a few friends who cleaned up either on their own or in rehab and they never go to meetings, and thye are doing better than i am. It's tough this stuff.
     
  2. Team503

    Team503 Guest

    Honestly, I share the same concern. While I often encourage others to go to meetings, I have chosen to struggle with my demons on my own. Perhaps the stubbornness has something to do with it, but a greater part is that I saw myself becoming them.

    I saw people replacing one addiction with another, and while meetings are far better of an addiction, I can't see myself doing it. I can't see myself going to meetings for the rest of my life, or replacing all my friends with people from AA. I don't want to (and am not willing to) give my entire life up for this.

    I would qualify all of that, though, by saying that the program DOES work, and for many people, it's what it takes to conquer this demon. But remember that everyone is different, and what's right for me may not be right for you.
     
  3. Rocky Balboner

    Rocky Balboner New Member

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    I hear ya. Remember one thing you shouldn't like meeting right now they are suppose to make you feel somewhat uncomfortable. This is because the flaws you see in other may be little ones in your self. The best advice I ever got was "find your own AA" . What he ment was find what works and stick with it. For the first year I went to 3 meetings a day and hated everyone of them. I yelled at people said they didnt know what was up. You know what I found over time? They were right. That stupid slogan keep coming was correct.

    You need to just keep going to different meetings til you find a few you can somewhat stand. I dont like the negitive meeting either. I found early morning meetings "for me" have alot more positive people in them.

    I had become Mr. AA as you say my first try at sobrity doing everything at 9 months I realized I wanted a life out of AA but didnt know what to do. I relapsed. When I went back I found My AA and have been sober ever since. I don't still go to three meetings a day and am not mr AA. either. I have a great life. Just stick with it and dont get discouraged. I am getting long winded my IM is in my profil if you ever want to talk:bigthumb:
     
  4. nukegoat

    nukegoat New Member

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    I believe you have to build a foundation and work steps and do all the recovery things so that you can actually attempt to live a normal life again. We do change a lot of things, but it doesn't mean we won't find love, purpose, careers, and fun again. If you never rest anything on your foundation, there was no point in pouring it, right?

    I try to stay balanced, but I generally have trouble doing so. Routine works best for me, I make it a point to hit some of the same meetings all the time, though I still jump around quite a bit.
     
  5. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    I struggled with this for a while. Like nukegoat said, it becomes increasingly necessary to build a foundation on the steps if you expect to sustain a normal life once again. The steps and meetings have helped me to solve several problems I had before I was heavily into drugs, and some I had while heavily in my addiction. Just keep going until you find some meetings that you enjoy more. Some meetings I just go to socialize, and catch up with some friends, or meet up with my sponsor, etc... The most important thing really is that you WORK THE STEPS, keep in touch with your sponsor, and keep in close contact with other addicts. Meetings essentially takes care of all 3, if your sponsor goes to some of the same meetings. The reason people go out after years, is because they lose touch with the steps, sponsor and meetings. If you maintain a balance after building a strong foundation, you should be fine. However, it takes at least a few years to solidify a foundation.
     
  6. Woodman

    Woodman New Member

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    As for people with 10+ yrs going back out - my question would not be why they go out, but why did they come back? Obviously, they rembered that the answer is here.

    There's alot of bumper-sticker talk like "mtg makers make it!".
    But it ain't just about making mtgs. It ain't just about abstinence.
    Those by themselves will only work for so long.
    Its about living the steps so that the steps can improve/change our lives, combined with abstinence and mtgs. That's what has worked for many of us.
    LIVING the steps! Not reading them. Not talking about them. Not writing about them.
    But actual application of the steps by living them.

    You can find anything you want at mtgs. Human behavour in it's worse form and in it's best form. (As addicts we do everything to one extreme or the other.)
    If you haven't found a comfortable mtg where you are, branch out & keep looking.
    I know that if your recovery is important to you, that's what you will do.
    It'll be worth it.
     

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