From just seeing her to exclusively dating

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by tsi90, Aug 25, 2009.

  1. tsi90

    tsi90 _____

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    I have been seeing this girl for a month now. In that time we have been on 10 dates and I've slept over at her place on 3 of those dates. And will probably again tomorrow.

    She seems to keep hinting to me that she wants an exclusive relationship but I keep waiting for her to bring it up. She gives me hits like talking about things we should to at least a month in the future (concerts and stuff like that) and I went with her to a party at her friends house where she introduced me to a bunch of her friends.

    A few weeks ago I was over at her place and she got me extremely drunk. And in my drunken state I asked her if she was still seeing any other guys. She said she wasn't and asked me the same question. I was honest and told her I had been seeing 3 other girls but had stopped talking to all of them shortly after I met her because I only wanted to be with her.

    This may have sounded needy but I don't remember. We have still been hanging out a lot since then so she must not have thought so. Although, I'm pretty sure she thinks I'm a player though because of my answer. She did say that we could talk more about that after she got back from visiting her family the following week.

    Last night we ended up talking about dating and she said that it has been 3 years since she had dated anyone and that she is not really sure how the whole process goes. Like how long before you go from just hanging out to exclusive.

    I think her hints plus he telling me she was not sure how the whole dating thing works might be as close as she gets to outright bringing it up. I normally just wait for the girl to bring this up but I get the feeling that she is too shy to do it herself and that this is as close as she will get.
     
  2. delussional77

    delussional77 Active Member

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    It seems pretty simple to me... do you want to be in an exclusive relationship with her?

    If so, then bring it up and see if she agrees. That is a big step for somebody to suggest that but if you can tell she is nervous about it then just make it easier for her. If you like her and she likes you this is a no-brainer....
     
  3. tsi90

    tsi90 _____

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    Well I did bring it up first. Although that was after knowing her for a week and while I was very drunk. I though it would be her turn to bring it up if that's what she wanted.
     
  4. calisteph6

    calisteph6 Active Member

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    .

    how dense are you?
     
  5. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    that doesnt count
     
  6. MossMan813

    MossMan813 New Member

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    You sound like a prize.
     
  7. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :ugh:

    Just fucking bring it up already. She wants to be exclusive, you want to be exclusive. Stop being a pussy, BE A MAN.
     
  8. saosko

    saosko OT Supporter

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    I don't see the problem here?
     
  9. tsi90

    tsi90 _____

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    Alright then. No one thinks I'm just seeing things that I want to see? That was mostly what I was afraid of.
     
  10. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    sack up
     
  11. Reign

    Reign Banned

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    Why not exclusively date? No need to call it a relationship yet. I've known the girl i'm seeing for like 2 weeks. She REALLY likes me, I like her... she's a bit beyond my level. However I'm going through some shit with a girl I REALLY liked and her wanting to remain friends and I don't because blah blah blah she'll unintentionally still have my attention blah blah blah.

    Anyway, the point is I think she's at the point where she wants to call me her boyfriend but I'm not there yet. I told her I would exclusively see her but I'm not ready for the whole I'm your boyfriend your my girlfriend thing. Just do/say something like that. Especially if the sex is as amazing with your girl as it is with mine... OH MAN is it amazing.
     
  12. XxvODvxX

    XxvODvxX New Member

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    :werd: You obviously like her with the drunk comment you made. Just go for broke. Whats the worse that could happen, she says no? I don't think she'll say no.
     
  13. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    nothing to be afraid of. she either wants to be exclusive with you or not. either way you need to know if you guys are wanting the same thing and should continue dating or different things and should break it off

    and erase the idea of "her turn" to bring it up. if you want something, go for it. you cant sit back and wait for other people to make the move for you.
     
  14. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    Take her to The Max and ask her if she wants to go steady.
     
  15. jim1234664

    jim1234664 New Member

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    relax, preppy
     
  16. Riconosuave

    Riconosuave New Member

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    I'm in a similar situation. Been dating this traditional Japanese girl for 2 months now. She's stayed over at my place a couple of times. A few weeks ago, she asked me about how relationships in the US work. She told me that in Japan, when people start dating each other, it's pretty much understood that they don't see anyone else. Then she brought up US relationships. How on US shows, Americans date multiple people, and if this was true. I confirmed this and told her that in US, most people are free to date others until they talk about being exclusive. She's shy, so I don't know if she'll bring this up again, but I got the feeling that she's not seeing anyone and doesn't want to see anyone else and wants the same from me. Don't know though. I usually wait for women to bring up the "exclusive" conversation, but since this is a Japanese girl I'm dealing with, I'm thinking I need to bring it up.
     
  17. XxvODvxX

    XxvODvxX New Member

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    If she's telling you that how it is where she is from, i would assume she would want it to be that way with you... Unless of course you don't want that, then you should speak up so she's not strung along...
     
  18. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    I used to subscribe to the "wait until the woman brings up the exclusive talk", but in my recent experience you need to adjust your beliefs sometimes.

    The girl I'm currently seeing brought up in bed one night that I should tell her if I was sleeping with other girls. I decided to try stepping outside of the norm and told her that it wouldn't be a problem if we were exclusive. She asked what I meant, and I told her I wanted her to be my girlfriend. It wasn't needy because I didn't ask how she felt, or ask if she wanted to be my girlfriend. I gave her the choice to decide still, but by telling her what I wanted I remained in control and got my intentions out there.

    If she wont bring up the exclusive talk, and you have been seeing her for a month and want to be exclusive with her then tell her you both should be exclusive and that you want her to be your gf. You don't have to wait for her to bring it up.
     
  19. kristaliah

    kristaliah New Member

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    If you want to be exclusive then just say it.

    Stop beating around the bush with her and playing silly games about who should say it first. It sounds like you both want it.
     
  20. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    :rofl::rofl:
     
  21. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Laugh all you want. The advice was for the TS.
     
  22. JohnJohnJohnson

    JohnJohnJohnson Effetely Sipping My Latte OT Supporter

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    you were seeing 3 other girls = not needy
     
  23. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    If I want a girl all to myself, I ask her to be my GF. If she says yes, then she is. until she says yes, shes a free woman and can do whatever she wants. :dunno:

    No other way makes sense. :rofl: at people who never say anything and then are all upset when they find out hanging out with someone a few times does not make you exclusive.
     
  24. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    A good way to lead into the conversation is: "so, are you dating anyone else?"

    Or you can say: "So, are we an exclusive couple, then?"


    Or: "oh, btw, I forgot to tell you - you're my girlfriend" :mamoru:
     
  25. XxvODvxX

    XxvODvxX New Member

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    Third for the win!
     

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