friendzoned? v 100000000

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by wake_o, Jun 4, 2008.

  1. wake_o

    wake_o New Member

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    So this girl has been confusing the hell out of me. Ive known her throughout college, but we only started hanging out like the last 2 weeks of last semester (of course finals time). For that while we'd hang out every day, shed come over and watch a movie or something. She took me on a date party thing, so i was like yeah, the things goin well, but we never hooked up or anything. at the very end of the year she out of nowhere asked my best friend to her formal dance thing, but came and hung out with me after, and made sure to point out she asked him on a whim one day (while i was passed out drunk in bed for a weekend essentially)

    Now its summer when she calls me she asks if ive been out dating people (which she knows i havent, as i had surgery and have been home alone recouping, not even able to talk till this week) and tells me shell find me a gf. Then shet alks about shes got a date tommorow with some guy, but then extends that hes kinda sketchy and doesnt really like him. She always wants to make plans and hang out for weekends and stuff (we live3 hours away, but will both be going back to school soon for the summer)

    so basically, like everyone else always asks, have i been friendzoned? She still seems really into me, but i fear i might be too late in making a move, as she also likes to befriend boys.

    i fail:squint:
     
  2. jokka

    jokka OT Supporter

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    dont sound desparate whenever you're talking/hanging around with her...

    always try to have that "i dont care" attitude ... she'll then realize that you're not paying attention to her and she'll then chase you around to win your approval and not the other way around.. never try to get a girl approval.. it's a insta-nosex for you.
     
  3. kronik85

    kronik85 New Member

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    personally, at this point, i'd take one of two routes

    1. plan a movie night, get close and cuddly, slightly stroke her. almost inadvertently. best spots i use are stomach/hips/forearm. next time you two say some funny shit to eachother and she's laughing, get a serious look on your face, trace from her left eye, to her right eye, down to her mouth, and then back up to her eyes a few times. then i'd ask her "do you wanna kiss me?" if she says no, then smile and be like "look, i didn't say you could. you just looked like you have something on your mind" playfully push her away. you need more physical contact and joking banter. if she says "maybe" then you say "lets find out", take her chin and turn her face to you. if she says "yes" well, i hope you know the next step.


    2. i'd be super direct, and with the right tonality say "look, i don't know whats going through your head, but i like you." and naturally riff on it from there. you'll either find out she likes you, or you'll find out she doesn't. if after 4 years in college(or however long 'throughout college' is)... she doesnt like you. you're not going to change that easily. might as well find another girl.
     
  4. wake_o

    wake_o New Member

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    yeah, thats always kind of my attitude anyway. I refuse to look desperate, no girls like that, and besides, shes friends with a ton of my friends, so i want to be careful. That and shes literally the nicest person ive ever met, almost to a fault, and so i of course want to be her friend no matter what.

    I think the main reason i like her more than usual is shes interesting. She lived in russia until she was like 13. A pretty different world really.
     
  5. 2angelmd

    2angelmd New Member

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    The only defense against friendzone is to friendzone her harder than she is doing it to you. And don't let up until some part of your anatomy is inside her body.
     
  6. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Sounds like she has no real overt interest in you. I'd just move on.
     
  7. wake_o

    wake_o New Member

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    I was considering both approaches a bit. for more backround, im starting my third year of school next year, and for the first year and a half, i only knew her cause we both partied in the same dorm at our respective friends rooms, so we had just partied a few times, werent really close friends by any means. We had class together spring semester is what started thigns off.

    and with plan one, she would always want to cuddle during movies, shed hold my hand, caress my arms and same me to her, but i could never quite tell if shes just really touchy feely, cause she kind of comes off like that, hugs me everytime we see eachother and goodbye, hugs most everyone, etc. lol, or if it was actualy genuine affection. I feel like it was, but again, i have a deathly fear of rejection if im friends with someone. If its a random girl at a party, fuck it, ill do whatever, but thats different.

    I had jaw surgery right after school got out, which still has left my whole lower face numb, so i was planning on next time we were hanging out watchign a movie or something, kind of doing what you said, making eye contact, but then joking about how it sucks if i ever wanted to kiss anyone itd be terrible because i cant feel my face, and see what her reaction was. Because if i didnt allude to that and tried to kiss her, itd be quite embarassing, as a cant feel shit with my lips and would probably kiss her nose or something
     
  8. wake_o

    wake_o New Member

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    she also said at one point today talking about another boy who keeps calling her wanting to hang out everyday. she said she doesnt reallyl like him, and also said that when you start hanging out with someone everday youre becoming more than just friends. But the kicker is the last two weeks of school we hung out everyday, and she always tells me that she plans on hanging out with me everyday for the rest of summer, saying im going to get sick of her joking, and that she'll move back to East Lansing as soon as i can.
     
  9. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    If she really wanted you, she would NOT be talking about other guys.

    She's using you for friendship. She cuddles with you because it feels nice, and she doesn't have to worry about you trying to fuck her.
     
  10. wake_o

    wake_o New Member

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    i see your point, but when she takls about them, she also says, i dont know why im telling you this, and talks about not really liking them. moreso just "i told this guy id go on a date with him."

    girls also try to make you jealous sometimes too :dunno:
     
  11. kronik85

    kronik85 New Member

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    i think with the information provided, that could be a snap judgement.

    you've never had a girl try to make you jealous by bringing up other guys? she could be annoyed that he hasn't taken a next step, and is trying to show that she's hot, and people want her.

    she could also be cuddling with him because she wants him to fuck her.



    i dunno, i don't think we have enough information about whats really going on.
     
  12. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    talking about other guys would just be a turn off...and trying to make me jealous? I don't go for games like that. If I want her, I already know that she is going to be a desirable woman, why should I need to be reminded of the fact?

    Just calling it as I see it, she sounds a little immature.
     
  13. wake_o

    wake_o New Member

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    i think im just too much of a bonehead to figure anything out. Ill try to make a move when i see her next


    to try to provide more info, she also said she wants me to come visit her at home, so she can introduce me to more of her friends and her parents? that sounds to me like a effing boyfriend. she wants me to spend the weekend there with her. sounds like it could be awkward, esp since her parents undoubtably speak terrible english.

    oh and also, she calls me daily, not me to her, and she always texts me how much she misses me and shit.
     
  14. wake_o

    wake_o New Member

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    shes a bit different socially, she is really, really open about things (except wanting me or not:squint:). damn ruskis
     
  15. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    facepalm.

    you're her little puppy. She might as well get a little handbag to put you in...
     
  16. wake_o

    wake_o New Member

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    not relly, she chases me around. I never really do anything for her, she always is begging on come to my place, etc.
     
  17. kronik85

    kronik85 New Member

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    regardless of how you feel... we're talking about a woman. not your woman. and she's a female in college, odds are that yes, she's immature.


    i don't disagree with you, i just think you're making an absolute judgment in a situation we're not close enough to make.
     
  18. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    Never even kissed her ? 2weeks on your couch snuggled up, yep owned.


    going by example when I was too shy to make a move. :o
     
  19. wake_o

    wake_o New Member

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    yeh, i dun fucked up well. now im trying to rescue myself. I think part of the reason i never made a move is that i wasnt sure if i wanted a relationship. I still kinda dont, but for the summer, worth a shot i guess. i spent my freshman year of college with a gf (albiet LD) and hated it.
     
  20. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    Well I don't know your feelings on the subject, but remember it's college. LOTS of guys and girls have meaningless sex or short term flings, etc.... And it seems that you two are at least close enough to visit.


    Either accept the role of friend or make a move next time and be prepared for her to say no. :noes:personally hate those few times when you have NO idea how she is going to react.
     
  21. wake_o

    wake_o New Member

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    yeah. meaningless flings has been my last year, and i do enjoy it. But i do like this girl, and am open to giving her a try, in whatever form. Ill regret not doing anything, so i might as well go for it ya know
     
  22. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    This is pretty much what you have to do... I generally go for the first option and if things stil don't seem clear, then take route 2. Either way you know exactly where you stand and it ends the games.. The first route is kind of a setup but it gives you an action to take for all 3 possible answers.. I think if you're a little more spontaneous about it you may have a better chance... Just try and kiss her when you're cuddling close and the moment is right. In the past I've waited till I'm close to a girl and then just said "Hey..." to get her attention and then went in for the kiss.
     
  23. wake_o

    wake_o New Member

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    will do, thanks for the advice all
     
  24. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    It sounds to me like she was waiting for you to make a move. I can't imagine getting that close to a guy if I didn't want him to kiss me. Holding hands and carassing each other goes beyond being just a touchy feely person. She probably just figured you weren't interested in her. In her mind she gave you all the signs that she was interested and it was up to you to make that final move.

    You still may have a chance but you're gonna have to grow some balls and make the first move. In her mind you have already rejected her once so I doubt she'll be trying again. If you guys end up cuddling again then that's the best time. Just keep being more affectionate and do something to take it farther like kissing her neck and see what happens.
     
  25. wake_o

    wake_o New Member

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    as a update for fun, shes driving an hour up here tonight to hang out for the night. Ill man up and make a move
     

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