friendzoned.. ugh.

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Amanda Ann, Mar 31, 2007.

  1. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    Hmm... Due to the fact that I've drank a considerable amount, I'm prob posting this because no one else wants to hear my shit at 2:30 in the AM!


    3 year ago, my best friend let it be known his feeling for me, albeit, through my best friend. Whatever. I was seeing someone rather seriously at the time, and he was getting ready to spend a year in Japan/overseas, so I turned him down. A year later I was single, realized what I gave up, and confessed my feelings for him, and he rejected me. Needless to say, I'm pretty sure I've got it bad for him. I compare everyone to him blah blah blah. Found out today, not even through HIM, but his myspace that he's got a new girl. She's not very attractive, whatever, looks aren't everything, but she went to technical college for massage therapy, and has a full time job working nights at some carpet store. :squint: And I'm just left scrathing my head wondering what she has that I don't AND why he didn't tell me.. I guess I should add, I'm in PA, and he's stationed in NC, so it's not like we see each other everyday..


    I'm not even looking for advice, I just really needed to vent I guess.. :o
     
  2. Ferrari430

    Ferrari430 New Member

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    Perhaps the fact that you turned him down, and he has too much pride to accept you again? I do not know your friend, nor what his personality is like so it could be anything really..I'm not sure how far PA and NC are, but perhaps he doesn't want a LTR?(if that would be considered one) Maybe he likes the other girls personality? I honestley don't know but i just feel like posting.:)
     
  3. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    haha.. that's cool.. he's in NC for the military, about a 9 hour drive. He'll be home for good (hopefully) in August. Bad thing about your rationale is that the other girl lives 20 minutes from me. Oh well, life has its breaksss.:hsd:
     
  4. armond

    armond New Member

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    Don't give up, I sure didn't. Worked out just fine for me.
     
  5. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    people move on.. you really only have a short window to make something happen and if you miss it, bad luck.
     
  6. xinster

    xinster New Member

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    Mike: Okay, so what if I don't want to give up on her?
    Rob: You don't call.
    Mike: But you said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her.
    Rob: Right.
    Mike: So I don't call either way?
    Rob: Right.
    Mike: So what's the difference?
    Rob: There is no difference right now. See, Mike, the only difference between giving up and not giving up is if you take her back when she wants to come back. But you can't do anything to make her want to come back. In fact, you can only do stuff to make her not want to come back.
    Mike: So the only difference is if I forget about her or just pretend to forget about her?
    Rob: Right.
    Mike: Well that sucks.
    Rob: Yeah, it sucks.
    Mike: So it's just like a retroactive decision, then? I mean I could, like, forget about her and then when she comes back make like I just pretended to forget about her?
    Rob: Right. Although probably more likely the opposite.
    Mike: What do you mean?
    Rob: I mean at first you're going to pretend to forget about her, you'll not call her, I don't know, whatever... but then eventually, you really will forget about her.
    Mike: Well what if she comes back first?
    Rob: Mmmm... see, that's the thing, is somehow they know not to come back until you really forget.
    Mike: There's the rub.
    Rob: There's the rub.
     
  7. Lateralus

    Lateralus New Member

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    :werd: This is so very true.
     
  8. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    Yeah I hear that. It's one of those things I wish I could turn back time for. :hs: Oh well, he's my best friend, I'm happy for him. I think I'm more upset that he didn't tell me about it.
     
  9. The Dave

    The Dave Biodegradeable Member

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    He hasn't changed that much in 3 years he's still the same guy you knew. If you weren't willing to give up the serious relationship for him what makes you think he will do the same for you?

    Sounds like you just want what you can't have.
     
  10. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    It's always funny to me how usually a girls first reaction to a crush getting a new girl is immediately judging her by looks and then judging herself. Insecurity ftl.

    Either way, you remind me of EliteLamer, and how he can't get over that his ex is with some old poor guy that lives in a trailer. Like you said looks, and occupation don't always mean everything (especially to guys, they are even more lax about what a girl does with her free time and/or work). Either way, he is with someone new, and you can't beat yourself up about it; you can only deal with it and try to move on hun.
     
  11. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    I think my issue is that I know I can't have him, and on the same hand, I don't want him because I know it would kill the awesome friendship we've had for the last 6 or 7 years. Heck, I'm even starting to get serious with an amazing guy. I think my problem is that I know he can do so much better. I'm like one of those overbearing mothers to him.. ha. :hs:
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    You actually sound a lot like me, a few years ago with this great guy friend I had. Basically I moved on though and stopped caring who he dated and I cared more about making myself happy.
     
  13. fighted

    fighted OT Supporter

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    i think it is likely he rejected you the second time because he's afraid that you're not serious and could be stringing him along. either that or there is something about your personality that he, over time, found undesirable.
     
  14. SlvrCivLT621

    SlvrCivLT621 New Member

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    well said
     
  15. Kinks

    Kinks Sup. OT Supporter

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    :rofl:
     
  16. audrey

    audrey New Member

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    .
     
  17. Sofa King

    Sofa King Guest

    :rofl: whats that from?
     
  18. J.C.

    J.C. New Member

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    I lowered myself for a girl one time. I was desperate and wanted a companion. I ended up getting rejected and was later glad I was rejected. She wasn't for me. Maybe he is in a similar case.

    If he seems happy, just move on.

    Welcome to club drinky drink.
     
  19. BeHeadR

    BeHeadR Only Slightly Insane

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    No, you just want him now because hes rejected you and moved on. You are flat out jealous that he no longer is attracted to you and that hes moved on.

    Admit it, you loved knowing he had a crush on you, and you wanted him to like you forever while you never planned on dating him.

    Now that the tables have turned, you are obsessing and want that attention back. This is why you are insecure about it now.
     
  20. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    Honestly, no. If I ever never planned on dating him, it was for the sheer fact that risking ruining out friendship hung over my head. It's one of those friendships where you know more about the other person than they know about themselves. Honestly, I can see us getting married like twenty years down the road because we're bored with life.

    I think I realized today talking to a mutual friend about this today why it actually bothered me. He's obviously been seeing/hiding this girl (from all of us) for quite some time. We know alot of her friends, and we put 2 and 2 together. Rewind back to the last time he was home, first week of Feb, and we slept together. Pretty shitty way to treat a girlfriend..

    Oh wellll.. I'm done with the issue. I'm more upset on a friend level now with his behavior, and I'm not going to let it screw up my chances with this guy I've been talking to. Thanks for everyone's input/opinions though.. :wavey:
     
  21. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    WOOT! Swingers FTMFW!!!

    I love that movie cuz I could so relate to it when it came out.
     
  22. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Damn...and here I was about to lay down some smooth ass advice for ya. lol oh well.
     
  23. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    haha.. i appreciate it anyways!
     

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