Friendzone success stories?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Ultimate_Ninja, Feb 15, 2007.

  1. Ultimate_Ninja

    Ultimate_Ninja New Member

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    Sorry for the rambling post that is going to follow, but I needed to write this down somewhere, and getting feedback from Vag is a bonus.

    I met a girl (Girl B, we'll call her) over the summer through a friend. We hit it off, found out we went to the same college, etc. Got up to college in the fall, and it became apparent within a month or two that we weren't compaitable enough to date. However, I did meet her roommate, Girl A.

    Girl A is everything I could ever ask for in a girl. She doesn't bullshit, fuck around, or lie like a typical girl. She'll tell you what she thinks, what she feels, and she'll tell you to your face. It is a wonderful breath of fresh air to know that if she's got something, ANYTHING to say, she's gonna say it. She's a very geniune girl; what you see is what you get with Girl A. She's VERY smart, and she's got a sense of humor that'll see her in hell soon enough :o We often have "retard" conversations with each other :o and joke about having to wear helmets to class when we're in stupid moods. :o

    We've been haning out a LOT the past couple weeks. We've cooked dinner a few times (cooking is a hobby), and its been just me and her. She comes over and drinks with us when most people aren't drinking (Wednesday at 6 p.m. :o ), we go shopping/run errands together, have a class together, etc. etc. People have starting getting misconceptions about "us" because up to this time we've just been saying that we're friends and enjoy each other's company. However, I think she knows as well as I do that friends don't sit down and have dinner for two with a bottle of (good) wine and watch a movie afterwards :o

    I often get the feeling that there might be something more brewing between us, but I really don't want to take the chance of fucking up our friendship. I really do enjoy her company moreso than any other girl I've ever met, and even most guys.

    She's headed out of town today, and its a 6.5 hour drive to where she's going. I burned her 4 CDs of 80s music, and a couple others I'm pretty sure she'll like.

    If there is a friend zone, I'm firmly in the epicenter of it. I like it. IMO to find somebody you can really really fall for, you've got to go through the friendzone to get there. I really hope it works with this girl, because I can tell already she's going to be the basis of comparison for every other girl I meet in the forseeable future.

    Comments and responses would be welcome; I just needed to get that out there and it feels really good to write that down and look at it :wiggle:

    Thanks folks. :)
     
  2. Ultimate_Ninja

    Ultimate_Ninja New Member

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    I'll also add that Girl A's roomie, Girl B, is none too pleased about how I stopped showing any sort of romantic interest with her and have become such good friends with Girl A. It is kind of funny, actually. She (B) kinda blew me off though, so fuck her.
     
  3. Elphaba

    Elphaba New Member

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    I suppose I have a success story for ya. And I def. agree that sometimes you can go through the friendzone to get to a relationship.

    I met my current bf at work. We worked on the same floor, in different departments. He's a bit younger than me, and had just (really JUST) gotten out of a serious relationship. I was hot for him, and pursued for a bit, but nothin' happened, so I backed off and went the 'friend route'.

    After a few weeks we started hanging out, first with a group of friends from the office, then alone. We'd hang out at his place till 3 or 4 am on a week night (as in, we both had to be at work around 7:30am the next day) watch movies, go out to eat, watch tv, or just talk and stuff. On the weekends I'd go over to his place and swim, go to movies, we spend ALOT of time together. Eventually after one of our late night hang-out sessions, he texted me on my way home and said that the next time we did that I should just bring my work clothes and spend the night. I thought this was my "in" but I was wrong. He slept on the couch and I slept in his bed (his choice) The first night I spent the night made a move and kissed him goodnight...and he didnt kiss me back. Funny enough it wasnt too weird, and we still hung out.

    After a while though, one night instead of taking the couch he just climbed into the bed with me :naughty: we ended up hooking up and were both like "I'm so glad we did that, I've been waiting to for a long time". From then on, we've been together :)
    I am really glad that we went through all that though, it gave us lots of time to get to know each other and he admits he was really worried about dating someone at work and how that would turn out and needed time to think it over. I think it was really great to be friends first, even if we wherent just friends for too long (4 or 5 monthsish).

    OP - just let it take its course, if something (physical) is gonna happen, it'll happen. If you feel you need to talk to her, think about it loonngg and hard before you do, and decide what youre going to say/how you'll say it b/c as alot of people in here say, that "what are we/whats going on here" convo can ruin things.
     
  4. Ultimate_Ninja

    Ultimate_Ninja New Member

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    Glad things worked out for you. :)

    I'm definitely not going to tell her about my feelings, at least not sober. Something may slip out when we're drunk, and hints have definitely been dropped by her before, but only when drunk. She once asked me (after I was over her roomie) "am I better looking then her?" I said yep. She then says "am I more dateable than her?" I also said yes. Little stuff like that can pop up when we drink (we drink in larger groups probably 4x a week, hooray college), but I don't think either one of us has looked into anything too much.

    We did share the same bed (read: sleep, no sex :o ) one night after we were both so drunk nobody remembered how we got into the same bed :o

    I think that part of the problem with the whole ordeal is that when her and I started hanging out a lot, rumors in our circle of friends started flying, and since I was still interested in her roomie at that point, I made a show of quashing said rumors. It isn't as if she didn't either, but I wasn't hiding the fact that we were just friends at that point. Since then (about three weeks ago) we've hung out a lot, and I've gotten to know her a LOT better.

    She's out of town until Friday night and I'm already kinda bummed we won't be hanging out tonight. :hsd: But this weekend we're going to watch all 6 Star Wars in sequential order, and she's also going to try to get me into NASCAR by watching the Daytona 500. She loves NASCAR :mamoru:
     
  5. Elphaba

    Elphaba New Member

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    Thanks :)

    Have you asked her (when yall are alone-ish) what she thinks of the rumors? That might be a good way to either start that convo or see where she wants to go with things. Like if she says "God! I know there so rediculous! How can people think I'd be interested in such a good friend!" That might be a cue that she's totally and completely friendzoned you (ofcourse, she could just be scared or something) or maybe a responce like "I know, we do hang out all the time...I could see how people would think that we were together" might be a more positive result...
     
  6. Ultimate_Ninja

    Ultimate_Ninja New Member

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    We've definitely talked about it in a roundabout sort of manner, and the responses have definitely been more in the vein of the "I could see how people see that" type. I definitely get the feeling that she's interested (she drops a lot of little verbal hints, and she like to hold eye contact when we're in a group of people; do you have any idea how hard it is to find a girl who can maintain eye contact??) but I don't want to fuck anything up.

    We drink a lot together, hopefully one day something will slip/happen between us and things will work out positively.

    I just spent a half hour talking to her while she was driving through the boring corn-corridored Minnesota Interstate, trying to keep her from getting bored :hsd:
     
  7. Ultimate_Ninja

    Ultimate_Ninja New Member

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    She likes to discuss her ex-boyfriends a lot, does that mean anything?
     
  8. Placebo

    Placebo New Member

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    You're DEEP in the friendzone.
     
  9. mattz87

    mattz87 Active Member

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    Not necessarily, girl im dating now brings up ex's every once in a while.
     
  10. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    It seems like you're hoping that somehow you both being drunk will be a mgic solution to your problem. It won't. You'll just be stuck waiting forever for "something to happen when we're both drunk".

    Just ask her out. Sitting around waiting won't do anything, while directly asking you out will get an answer from her.
     
  11. fray

    fray New Member

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    I don't think this means anything. I have a friendzone success story, which is longer than I care to type out right now, but we used to discuss relationships and exes, so it's entirely possible.

    Besides, if you actually are getting real vibes from her, you're not actually in the friendzone, you're just hanging out as friends. I agree with matt...ask her out, don't sit around and wait. She might be waiting for you to do something and you'd feel stupid if you didn't. You can be slightly subtle so that if she doens't want anything you can still retain the friendship.
     
  12. razi

    razi New Member

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    she's sending you signals and waiting for you to make the first move. do it man, stop dawdling.
     
  13. Placebo

    Placebo New Member

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    There is a big difference between a lot and every once and a while.
     
  14. Ultimate_Ninja

    Ultimate_Ninja New Member

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    Thanks for the responses guys. I've wanted to hear what you had to say, but I'm not going to say anything to her, just as I had planned. If things take a turn for the romantic, cool. If not, I still consider myself lucky to have such a good friend.
     
  15. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    so you're going to wait for her to make a move? or are you no longer interested in her?

    We're all telling you...if you want to be with this girl, you have to take some initiative. Just waiting will do nothing, and the longer you wait, the less likely she will be to respond positively to your pursuit. Why? Because she may be sending out signals, and she doesn't see you responding to them, so she thinks you don't have any interest in her, and moves on.
     
  16. fray

    fray New Member

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    .
     

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