Friendzone Meets its End

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by just_another_on, Feb 2, 2009.

  1. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    So, i've had an underlying friendzone relationship with a girl who I use to 'date' 2-3 years ago, that i've briefly mentioned before.

    Her and I both like each other, but due to the situation shes in (has a 1 yr old, literally just broke up with b/f about a month ago, just moved into her own place etc) we're just more or less buddies with out the sexuallity involved (including kissing, no kissing). I've spoken to her best friend about the whole situation and she has openly told me that she is VERY interested in me and wants more, but is scared due to the time frame of her ex, etc etc.

    The WHOLE situation is TOTALLY ok and accepted by me cause its not like im some pushy guy who is going around trying to get laid. Fact of the matter is, this is THE girl for me. She is the one i've liked for a while, and when we did date, we had an awesome time together. Now that things are going good in her life, dumped the ex scum bag, moved out, got her own place and such, it seems like she is ready and more open to a possible 'us'.

    So my question to VAG:

    Whats her Valentines day gift?

    Her birthday was like 2 weeks ago and I took her out somewhere nice, well what I consider nice. Took her to Cheesecake Factory (which is moderate dining, especially what shes used to, reference: scumbag ex) and had her go all out. Between the two of us including dessert, we shared one :):x: (had to have the typical cliche romance stuff right?), she had a Filet mignon (she wanted a steak), and well, spent around $120 for the two of us. The smile on her face was priceless and knew that was the most rewarding part of the night.

    I was thinking dozen roses, skip the typical chocolate bullshit, take her out to a dinner maybe, then what?

    Any ideas guys? I reallllly like this one :x:
     
  2. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    Is it really a freindzone if you dated to begin with?

    anyways........depending on the relationship between the both of you, something simple might be nice. I mean no need to go ALL OUT crazy just for one day. Just do something that the both of you will enjoy. It's the thought that counts. Plus, ther are 364 other days in the year to do romantic stuff. Don't have to be on just this hallmark day.
     
  3. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Totally agree. Only reason I call it 'friendzone' right now is cause like I said, she just broke up with her b/f about ~1 month ago. Throughout her relationship with him her and I have been friends. And im not that skeevy 'homewrecker' type to try and push myself onto someone in a relationship.
     
  4. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    But who's the baby's daddy?
     
  5. _A_

    _A_ New Member

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    Better make a move or she will just find someone new.
     
  6. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Lol, the ex b/f that she just broke up with. He and I ... well, we've had a not-so friendly past per say. Not violent or anything, but the kid is a moron and knows it. He's scared to talk to me about anything. He knows, and understands that I dont like men who put their hands on women...

    'Nuff said.

    That, I find highly unlikely right now. Although who knows, I doubt it. Her ex/Baby Daddy, is/was he ONLY b/f... Never has she been in a relationship with a man aside from him
     
  7. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    If you don't mind me asking, how old are the parties involved?
     
  8. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Fairly young. The 'Father' is 22, the mother is 20.

    And I totally understand/expect to see the young parents comments commence :squint:

    As for reasoning, before any one may ask. I do understand she has a child and am TOTALLY cool with that and the responsibilities and maturity that goes with it. Im about to turn 23.
     
  9. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    First paragraph/line.. It's ok with you because you're not trying to get laid? I mean come on, I've been with girls before where sex wasn't the priority but it was always an underlying thought. Have you been actively looking for other women since you two broke up or have you just been waiting around hoping she'd get back together with you one day?

    Why did you two break up in the first place if everything was good and you had an awesome time, etc.?

    You spent $120 bucks on her birthday (ok lets say $40 of it was for your own meal), you two aren't dating, and now you are wondering about valentines day? If you want to use that night as a night to get back together with her then maybe do something a little special but you should be sure that it will happen first.
     
  10. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    First line 'dating'. We were never anything serious. We messed around and 'dated' for a while. Never was in a real relationship.

    As far as the not getting laid comment, obviously every guy wants to get laid. I meant that as in, with this girl its NOT just about getting laid if that helps. No where in my post did I say I wasn't dating/talking to other girls. And after her and I stopped 'dating' a few years ago, of course I was with other girls. I was actually in a 2 year relationship that ended this past august and have been single since.

    And I agree with the something special, wait til its for sure comment,:bigthumb:. Thats what im trying to figure out from this, what SHOULD i do to ensure a good night is had? She has already told me she wanted to spend Valentines day with me.
     
  11. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    404 friendzone not found
     
  12. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Thanks for the reply AQ.

    I'll get to the bolded in a second, but first, I totally agree with the young parent thing. I am in NO way trying to step in and be a father, and in no way implying that her ex bf should not be around. I totally understand and realize that after a break up, ESPECIALLY a break up with a child involved, it never just goes away. Im not saying im ready to be the childs father, but im ready to be in a relationship with HER. I totally understand the costs and necassities to have/raise a child, and am I in no way saying right now im ready for that. But I AM ready to be there for her and what she needs.

    As far as the bold goes...

    You totally took that the wrong way. I dont know if i typed it, but holy shit you went out on left field on that one.

    First, her and I have NEVER had sex. Not from the time we dated, til now. Never ONCE have we had sex. Second, the only reason I put the cost, not that it matters and im NOT bragging, is cause her ex b/f has never taken her to any restuarants more so than TGI Fridays. It was just a nice way of showing her I appreciate her as a friend but at the same time letting her know that I still do care for her in another way. You just dont take your friend out to a nice dinner like that:ugh:.

    And honestly Aqua. HOLY SHIT

    Getting the baby a gift was an AWESOME idea. I play with her son when ever I see him and he takes openly to me. So it'd def be a great idea!

    Thank you!!!
     
  13. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    And for the record. My BEST friend growing up, 18 years in counting had a child when she turned 20.

    Shes now 23, and I have been the baby's godfather since the day he was born. I have been there daily, day in and day out to help her with the child since the dad was a low life and moved to florida when he found out she was pregnant with the child. So although I may not be 100% ready for a child, I understand 150% what it takes.
     
  14. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Well, im totally ready and accept the fact that if I do get involved with the girl obviously the baby becomes a responsibility. Like I said, when I said this is the ONE girl I'd be willing to have a relationship with, thats pretty much it. I firmly stand behind my idea of buying a Porsche before I meet some new girl and pursue a serious relationship. But theres just something about her that makes my feelings sway a different way...:hsd::hsd:

    I dont know what else there is :hsd:
     
  15. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    if you want to date her, then ask her out. state what you are looking for in the relationship so that she can tell you what shes looking for as well.

    she has a child to take care of, she doesnt need to be playing games wondering whats going on and if you like her or not, so being honest will prevent that.

    and spending lots of money on dates or gifts does not make you better than her ex. its the quality of person you are to her that makes you better. be the better person, dont waste your time trying to find ways to spend more money and show him up, which is what it sounds like you are doing by asking what else you should do for a girl you are not even dating on v-day.

    cook dinner for her (and her child) at her place. its the gesture, not the money, that counts
     
  16. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    you're setting yourself up for a huge failure the way you're going.

    Stop trying to buy your way into a relationship with her.

    Ask her out. Show her that you want to be with her.
     
  17. Phantom

    Phantom Active Member

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    2d, 3d, 4th whatever, this is the correct theme
     
  18. k1ko

    k1ko OT Supporter

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    hate to say it cause i like aquakittie, but there are plenty of girls at your age without a kid. why go after one that has so much baggage? =/
     
  19. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    :werd:
     
  20. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Thats what im trying to figure out. :noes:

    I think it has more to do with the fact her and I 'dated' before she had the kid.

    Maybe you guys/girls are right...
     
  21. spydur86

    spydur86 New Member

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    Not worth it. I was in the same situation (dated a girl a few years back, stopped talking to her for a few years, she had twins, tried getting back together with her, etc). Anyway, just know that if you start dating you will be working around her and her kid's schedule. If you're the kind of person that likes spontaneity your relationship will have next to none. Hardly any late nights just sitting out doing whatever. Blegh, the more I type the more I realize how glad I am about dodging that bullet. Bottom line is it's probably going to be more stressful on you than you realize and at your age it's better to just find a single girl with less baggage.
     
  22. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    :bowrofl:


    Is this is my brother?!

    It has to be.
     
  23. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    Get rid of her bruh, I told you this years ago.
     
  24. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    OMG...............................when family and friends in rl join OT.......hillarity always ensues !:mamoru:
     
  25. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    He knows its me, its nothing new LOL.
     

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