Friendzone issue... v.vagadvice

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Yahdude, Apr 9, 2009.

  1. Yahdude

    Yahdude New Member

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    This is going to be long.

    Preface, I have no game.

    So I'm working at an event 5-6 years ago, it's a family business. I point out a girl I think is hot to my father while were just bullshitting, turns out its the daughter of one of his friends. There's a short introduction later in the day when my father was talking to her father etc, I was 19 she was 16. I had even less game then, I said hi and returned to my work.

    After the last day of the event we were working we're packing our stuff up and she and her mother approach, say hello and her mom grabs one of our business cards flips it over and hands her daughter a pen and walks away. Clearly I'm supposed to be asking for her number at this point? I do.

    Fast forward a couple weeks of random texting and phone calls I had made it really clear that I was into her, she's super shy but admits the same although she has an on and off boyfriend of a couple years and it's a 'bad time'. (I've learned recently that there were SERIOUS family issues at the time, as well as the boyfriend was a complete prick but had her wrapped around his finger) We lived in seperate states so it really wasn't much of an issue anyway as we'd only see each other 5-6 times a year.

    Fast forward 5 years, I've ended up moving to the same city she lives in for work...and we've become pretty good friends in the meantime. We never really stopped talking...although I've never pushed the issue again. Now that I've lived here a few months though I'm wanting to do so now...we go out for beers/food nearly once a week...I left town for a week and she offered to stay at my place and watch my dog etc. At times I get the vibe that she's into me, but nothing concrete enough to want to jeopardize making things super awkward between her and I if I'm taking things the wrong way. I've been invited to dinner with her parents (again, family friends basically so I know them pretty well) and invited to dinner at the house multiple times, including for easter this weekend.

    I could go on and on...basically I THINK she's into me, all signs point towards it. She's only slept with that one guy, and told me she's only ever kissed 'less guys than I have fingers on one hand.' Super shy and seems to be pretty naive. I've said some things that I felt opened the door for her to express some sort of interest, but she typically comes back with the 17 year old 'you've got bad taste' or 'you're crazy' deflections. I know I'm being a huge pussy, but I'm going to know this girl for most likely the rest of my life, I don't want to look like a complete creep by coming out blatently and telling her I want to date her.

    How can I go about this in a manner that wouldn't make things terribly awkward? She's basically my only good friend in town since I'm new to town, and my only social connection at this point.

    It's seriously to the point where I almost don't want to see her cause I feel like I should be coming onto her...if she was some random chick I just met the door would seem to be wide open, but for some reason I'm having a hell of a time walking through it with this one.

    Ugh.

    Questions? Ideas? Want to tell me how much of a pushover I am?

    Fire away

    Edit: I'm now 26, she's 22.
     
  2. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    should have made a move longgg ago. but anyway, i think you'd know for sure if she was truly interested. she's either a. not interested at all as anything more than friends or b. has low interest in you.

    i would still try and make a move next time you are out together. or before you're going out for dinner next drop make sure to drop in the word 'date' and see how she responds.
     
  3. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    Dude, come on, its been SIX years, its time to call this one quits.
     
  4. Yahdude

    Yahdude New Member

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    That's the thing...I did...years ago. It's just starting coming back now that I moved here and I'm seeing her all the time. And I'd have no problem just letting it go again, but I get the feeling like she's waiting for me to do something. But I don't know if that's enough to jeopardize the friendship lol...I'm totally content with leaving things where they are, but it's like I'm in this massive limbo.
     
  5. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    Don't mess up your friendship by telling her. She knows you're interested in her, she is either not interested or wants to take her time (if either of these weren't the case, you'd feel much stronger about whether she's interested or not based on her behavior, you wouldn't be making excuses as to why she hasn't shown a concrete interest). Either way, go out, meet some girls, make some friends, move on with your life.
     
  6. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    strongly disagree
     
  7. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    I think I'm much better qualified to give advice regarding women than you are :hsughno:
     
  8. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    yeah bro. you're the man. you've got cheating down to a science!
     
  9. Yahdude

    Yahdude New Member

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    I can defiantly see the logic there.
     
  10. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    Do you understand that someone has to be able to easily and effectively pull women and have a through understanding of women to be a habitual cheater?
     
  11. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    or just be good looking and be a complete scumbag.
     
  12. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    :hsugh:

    Looks can only help break the ice, bro. After that, its all skill.

    Keep in mind, attractive girls get hit on by attractive dudes all the time, there has to be some skill to stand out.
     
  13. jonno

    jonno New Member

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    naw, i agree with that. but i think that if you're a very good looking guy you have more room to fuck up or more 'chances' i'd say than an average looking dude.

    the average looking dude will have to be much more charming/funny/confident than the guy who is seen as a 10 from the girl he's talking to.
     
  14. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Sounds like she might be the kind of girl who would date a friend. :dunno:
     
  15. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Whoa, lets stop derailing the thread, jonno and McCohen. Just give teh advice and stop bashing each other on who is better with ladies.

    ---

    To the OP, you're in the ultimate friendzone status right now. Reason being : time. If a girl (this is ALL MY OPINION) had any intentions of being with you, hooking up, etc, Im sure it would have been done in the 5-6 years you've known each other. Shy or not im sure she wouldnt just 'stick around' waiting for you to make the first move...

    Or is she?

    If she's that shy and has only ever been w/ that one guy, then its obvious she likes you. Reason ive said that is because if its been 5 years and still thats the ONLY guy in/around her life other than you, shes trying to protect your feelings.

    Personally, I'd come out and be 100% open about the situation. You're obviously one of her 'closer' male friends, but at the same time, you may be the only male shes interested in, hence the constant/regular visits and such.

    I say just go out their and ask her. Tell her that you've obviously always been attracted to her, thought she was a great person, but you've always got mixed signals. You two had some interest in each other in past years and they are still there. Let her know that although she is a great friend to you, you do still see the opportunity for more.
     
  16. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I'm with JAO on this. I think she sounds like the kind of girl where being the "friend" might actually be a good thing.
     
  17. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    Whoa, was there any discussion of who is better with women? Is anyone has any doubts: Really? Come on....
     
  18. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Lol, MCohen, :coolugh:
     
  19. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    To bad youre like 12 hours away, I'd show you up son :big grin:.
     
  20. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    lol No you wouldn't, bro.
     
  21. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    :rofl:
     
  22. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    That.
     
  23. Yahdude

    Yahdude New Member

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    This is the path I've been thinking about taking for a couple weeks, and I think honestly we're both mature enough to be able to handle it if things don't work out...I guess I just needed some sort of reassurance. This is probably what I'm going to do... :noes:

    Now just to figure out how. lol
     
  24. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Go for it, man! :bigthumb:
     
  25. MCohen

    MCohen #NotMyPresident #AmericaIsAlreadyGreat #GoSolar OT Supporter

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    I'm voting for don't do it.
     

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