Friends with Benefits

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by 53k1a8, Mar 6, 2009.

  1. 53k1a8

    53k1a8 the effects of the ugly stick are irreversible

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    So basically, I started talking to this girl about a week ago, and asked her out. She wrote on facebook me saying that she has never been in a relationship BLA BLA BLA... has had bad experiences with guys BLA BLA BLA... doesn't have time for a commited relationship right now, but wants to be friends with bennefits.

    A few things:
    1) am I just going to be the "fuck" people talk about and never the boyfriend?
    2) I don't really know if i want to be friends with bennefits.... from what I heard, someone always ends up hurt from this.
    3) should I confront her about this, tell her about my concerns, or should I just shut up and get some free sex. (no work and all play) but if I go his route, will I ever truly be satisfied? and does this mean I can still date around?
     
  2. wolfskymoon

    wolfskymoon Guest

    If she's hot, then go for the sex. She obviously isn't interested in you for the long term, otherwise she would not ask you to be her friends with benefits. But at the same time, I have no experience with relationships.
     
  3. maybeitsyou

    maybeitsyou New Member

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    sex + possible chance of getting hurt OR nothing at all. your choice.
     
  4. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    that just about sums it up

    and throw in STDs sorry im taking bio30(sex ed) and im scared shitless right now :rofl:
     
  5. maybeitsyou

    maybeitsyou New Member

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    yeah, i have to get tested jsut to see if i do have anything. kinda scared.
     
  6. giz

    giz Active Member

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    go into it knowing nothing will ever come of it and enjoy
     
  7. Outspoken_Hetero

    Outspoken_Hetero New Member

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    Like anything else its still a relationship just minus the romance and the obligations, however from my experience historically rarely does the situation stay as it is intended.

    briefly speaking just go with it and see what happens.
     
  8. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    Pretty much.

    If she flat out told you she just wanted a FWB styled relationship, then fucking do it. Just make sure you know what YOU want. If you want a relationship with her and you think doing the FWB thing is going to help, you're wrong. Chances are you'll grow feelings when in fact you are just a FWB to her, feelings wont be as mutual.

    Just go in with your head knowing what is coming out from this.

    Sex.
     
  9. Boudreaux

    Boudreaux Active Member

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    The fact that SHE brought it up gives you a waiver for no strings attached sex.

    if you wont do it send her my way.
     
  10. fray

    fray New Member

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    If you're concerned about the dating around or sex with other people, this is a guideline you need to establish up front.

    Just because it's strictly fwb doesn't mean you can't discuss some boundaries. This will make your experience more pleasant and hopefully avoid some drama down the road. It will also give you a better idea of where you stand and if this relationship will give you what you want.
     
  11. victimizati0n

    victimizati0n New Member

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    girls will usually start to get feelings for you after a while (unless you are horrible at sex)

    just watch out for that
     
  12. JamesL

    JamesL wat

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    Go for it.... what do you have to lose?
     
  13. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I'm going to take a stab in the dark and say judging from your post you are the type of person who will develop feelings even if you try not to.
     
  14. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    If you think you MIGHT develop feelings for this girl, then you need to have your FWB relationship with rules. I am in one now, and I'm not too sure how I feel about it anymore. I would not spend the night, not cuddle her, don't take her out to dinner, don't have long intense convos. You call her up when you want sex, go over, fuck her, maybe hang around for a little bit, and then bounce. Or she calls you. And leave it at that. Don't do any coupley things, thats where I made my mistake, and now I'm kinda :hs:
     
  15. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

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    The one time I had a FWB, yeah she started to get attached and well me being a guy was enjoying screwing around. I hurt her, and thats pretty much how things ended. But I'd still do it again.
     
  16. fray

    fray New Member

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    I think a lot of times people say they want just someone for hookups, when really they want kind of a no-strings-attached "relationship" where they can do coupley things, but not be a couple and it becomes confusing.
     
  17. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    :werd:

    Some people are just scared of the word, relationship.

    I, being one of them.
     
  18. D7

    D7 OT Supporter

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    I'll second that
     
  19. XxvODvxX

    XxvODvxX New Member

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    No reason for me me to add my 2cents... Everyone pretty much covered it. Don't get attached, and just get laid..
     
  20. knucks

    knucks Active Member

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    Just kicking a dead horse.
    Don't get attached and it'll be okay.

    You do seem reserved about it, so it sounds like you like her more than just friends with benefits and would want something more. With that in mind, how would you feel if you saw her make out with some other guy in your presence or you found out about her fucking other guys?

    If that bothers you, then stay the fuck away.
     
  21. wolfskymoon

    wolfskymoon Guest

    Imagine that she's your left or right hand.
     
  22. snoodles

    snoodles New Member

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    you're gay if you don't hit it.
     
  23. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    qfmft!

    :dunno: fwb relationships aren't necessarily a bad thing. :o i've had a few due to my committment phobia in the past.

    don't be afraid to discuss all aspects of the fwb relationship [not to death, but just so you're on the same page]. since you're worried about getting attached, i would consider not sleeping over at each other's place. some people can handle it, some can't. in addition, make sure you discuss whether or not you're going to be her only fwb, or if she's having sex with other guys as well. protect yourself!

    it's possible to get attached to a fwb. :o been there, done that. you'll be less likely to have that happen if you're upfront and honest about everything. just realize this girl is interested in fucking you, but has not interest in being your girlfriend. she's being upfront about it from the getgo, so i highly doubt she'll play with your emotions.

    good luck!
     
  24. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    Get out now unless you can absolve yourself of all emotional attachment to her.

    Now if she wants to be EXCLUSIVE FWB then tread lightly and do work, son.

    And dont be a fool, wrap your tool

    Or you dont like STD risks and dont want to run your number up...:dunno:

    I've had the chance to rail plenty of girls, but I like keeping my number/age ratio decent in case I ever actually meet a nice girl. :hsd:
     
  25. 53k1a8

    53k1a8 the effects of the ugly stick are irreversible

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    Thanks for all of your advise guys.

    I have some shit to think about. I guess that my hesitation for this FWB is that i fear of developing unrequited feelings for her.

    I'll keep you posted.
     

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