SRS friends with benefits(anonymous post)

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Darketernal, Nov 8, 2006.

  1. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    My friend is in a FWB situation. i've never been in one so i don't know how it's supposed to work.
    she's a really nice person to begin with and really generous too. i just think that her "friend" is taking advantage of her. she does everything i do for my boyfriend and more. sometimes her "friend" seems genuine but other times, it seems like he's getting his cake and eating it too. i just don't want my friend to get hurt but i don't know how to tell her without hurting her feelings or accusing the other person of something that is not true.
     
  2. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    You can't save your friend from getting hurt and she might not. She might be fully aware of the possibility of getting hurt but she still proceeds with this behavior anyways. It's hard to watch friends making choices that we wouldn't make or that we think will lead them into pain....however, all we can do, IMO, is express our fears for them and love them unconditionally.

    In the end, it's their choice and eventhough we wouldn't want to live the life they are.....there's no need to "punish" them for making up their own mind about things.
     
  3. mahal.

    mahal. mahal kita? OT Supporter

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    FWBs don't always work bc feelings/emotions get in the way. since you're her friend, you should tell her how you feel regardless if you hurt her feelings.
     
  4. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

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    In a proper FWB she shouldn't be doing everything for him (I assume with this you mean cooking for him etc). Should pretty much be how it was with them before, except some added intimacy. You say she is a caring person, did she do everything for him before FWB was going on? Then this is normal.

    Otherwise she may be getting feelings, which if he doesn't have them, will end up with her getting hurt. Getting hurt isn't always a bad thing though, might be something she needs to learn :shrug:
     
  5. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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    fwb is definitely a weird situation
     
  6. mondaynightmike

    mondaynightmike New Member

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    FWB is good to start with but can turn wierd.

    Especially if
    1) you get strong feelings for her, yet she is messing about with other people, and you get pissed of at this

    2) She gets strong feelings, and you are still shagging about with other girls/going after other girls because all you she her as is a shag.

    In my experience, FWB's can work, but more than likely they won't after a few weeks.

    Seems like your friend has a lot stronger feelings :hs:

    But, me personally would feel wierd if my FWB started doing stuff a g/f would normally do.

    For me in my experience i'll meet up with them, have sex, then leave. Nothing else, no going shopping, or going out for meals or anything. That way it stays as just sex.
     
  7. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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    then that would be a booty call not friends with benefits. i shop with my friends and go out to eat. technically friends with benefits are friends to begin with so what's the harm in doing "friend" type stuff? and i've heard of some fwb situations that have lasted for years
     
  8. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Thanks for all your feedback. I'm not sure I will say anything to her or not. I just hope my assumptions are wrong.
     
  9. mondaynightmike

    mondaynightmike New Member

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    ok thats a different look on it then as i've always associated FWB meaning just sex.
     
  10. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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    yeah, i've heard that too. guess it just depends on the people who are actually in the situation. i suppose the "feelings" thing can become unmaneagable at some point.
     
  11. mondaynightmike

    mondaynightmike New Member

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    Yup thats always the problem you face however you look at FWB's.
     
  12. Vixxen

    Vixxen New Member

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    meh. there's always an exception. hopefully this girl isn't setting herself up for something else. sounds like the guy's just in it for the sex and the gf perks (whatever that may be)
     

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