friends to serious or still friendzoned?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by 98formyws6, Mar 12, 2007.

  1. 98formyws6

    98formyws6 New Member

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    i have been hanging out w/ this girl since january and find myself to truely be falling head over heels in love w/ her (not lusting, or a simple crush)

    i only see her once a week since she lives 2 hours away and we went to vegas this weekend since it was my birthday. i tried to go all out since it was ocassion and i only see her once a week and it was her first time in vegas.

    the weekend went kinda bad, came in real late friday night due to bad traffic so didnt do anything and on saturday we pretty much did everything she wanted to. came back to the room at 10, figured we would go back out or i would at least get some for the first time in a long while, but she ends up going to sleep right away. i got fustrated and couldnt sleep so i went out w/ a buddy who happened to be there too until really late.

    in the morning she told me she felt really bad for going to sleep and she did in fact wake up in the middle of the night but didnt find me there. we then start getting intimate and her aunt (who she hasnt seen in years and lives in vegas) calls and wants to meet up for breakfast. score some really blue balls for me

    i was kinda bummed my weekend didnt go exactly as i wanted but i was able to spend time w/ her so i was still pretty stoked. its time to leave and we're driving home (6 hours) anyways here is where i fucked up apparently. i asked her what are situation was and she tells me we're "friends/dating" but we should take things slow and see where it goes from there. so i'm thinking damn friendzoned:sadwavey:

    i then asked why we did it in the morning (i wanted to know if she had any feelings for me, or if it was just pitty sex/she felt like she owed me something) she told me because i was "cool/ nice person, great persoanlity" but it was too early in our "relationship" (which i'm not even sure exists) to tell me if she felt emotion (i think she confused it for the word love, reason being is she is from mexico so her english isn't perfect)

    the rest of the car ride went well, back to joking/ great conversation

    so my question is do i have a shot w/ her of a bf/gf relationship or is she just being nice

    i dont know why i ruined everything by asking her those dumb questions, while we were "hanging out" or "dating", everything was going well, we would always both have a great time, she took me somewhere far and special for valentines

    i think the only reason i asked was because i have low self esteem due to some really bad past experiences w/ ex's so i was thinking i wanted to hear the words from her before finding out i am being played like a two pump chump
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2007
  2. otherlank

    otherlank OT Supporter

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    you absolutely have a shot. you got physical with her and she flat out told you that you two were "dating".

    youre definitely over thinking this whole situation. sure, you may be falling for her faster than she is for you, but if you were friendzoned she would not have been physical with you.
     
  3. Tugga

    Tugga OT Supporter

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    go for it
     
  4. 98formyws6

    98formyws6 New Member

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    thanks for your candor guys, appreciate it

    i always thought 'lets just take it slow and see how things go' was the same as 'lets just be friends'

    im usually more reserved but like i said i dont want to keep investing my feelings and end up getting really burned

    and also i do go out of my way and invest a lot of seeing her once a week, it costs $50 in gas alone each time i see her (money is a lil tight w/ me right now, not being a cheapass)

    i feel like i broke some kinda rule and now come off as almost clingy/ desperate

    should i not call her for one week to give some breathing room to her?
     
  5. Gleason

    Gleason New Member

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    congrats you got phyisical, a big step IMO. Most friendzones are guys that like the girl, and the girl refuses any physical. I've been friendzone'd before. I knew it because I got absolutly nothing out if it.... besides being the goto guy for her when a guy she was banging fucked her over...so yea, you seem like your on a great leg. That and the fact she said dating :) .

    I'd take it slow like she mentioned, and maybe talk/visit her normally but increase something to show abit more caring? [ like calling her a few times extra a week, or a random text message to her] something to subtle-y let her know you care but aren't becoming instant cling-on.
     
  6. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    You shouldn't have to drive to visit her each time, she should come to see you too.
     
  7. mick_dundee

    mick_dundee New Member

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    Ever think she might be in a similar situation?

    What's her personality like? Is it shy? Extroverted? Introverted? If she is shy/introverted then there's a chance she just doesn't want to say it. You just need to keep going how you are and see how she responds to it all.

    At the moment it seems you like her more than she likes you so I would give it a shot, let her know you want it to go further but fuck, don't just let her know then ease off. Keep constantly pushing for it or else she'll lose interest or think you don't care, but DON'T become too clingy. Just turn up the charm and if she wants a day off/doesn't want to do anything then just be fine with that.

    Keep an eye on the progress though. You don't want to be getting nowhere while paying a lot to keep it going.
     
  8. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Why are you pushing for a relationship?

    She's letting you know that you are moving too quickly.

    Relax. You were intimate with her, and that should give you confidence.

    Why do you choose to worry so much?

    Also, you asked her what the relationship status was. This is a big no-no. She should be the one asking YOU, not the other way around.
     
  9. 98formyws6

    98formyws6 New Member

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    yeah i know i f'd up and jumped the gun way too quick on that, or even worse i know i was supposed to have her bring that up...i figure i'll just ease down but still show her a good time

    also her good friend is this major slut whore (i think she even works as an escort:naughty:) of course i have to trust this girl since i only see her bout once a week, is it wrong to ask her if she's seeing other guys, i asked a female friend of mine and she said it was fine and i had that right since we're not serious
     
  10. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Are you sure you want to know the answer to that question?

    You need to raise her interest level high enough that SHE is worried about if YOU are seeing other girls.
     
  11. 98formyws6

    98formyws6 New Member

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    actually i do want to know the answer, i mean i want a serious relationship and i'm more than willing to wait for her to be ready but if she's messing around w/ other dudes than i would want to end our relationship before i end up getting burned too badly


    as for her interest...one of my best friends (female, who i have zero interest in) calls a lot when me and this girl is hanging out, i always send it straight to voicemail since i'd figure itd be rude to answer, but this girl kinda gets suspicious and asks who is it, one time i did answer and this girl told me to tell the person i was talking w/ (female friend) thatd i'd call her back pretty loud, as to set her dominance or whatever
     
  12. yesitisyellow

    yesitisyellow New Member

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    Really you don't want to know, I'd say just focus on you and your relationship with her. As Yail Bloor said, you just need to raise her interest that she'd not care about other guys. You can't really stop her from seeing other guys atm.

    But i do see the reason why you'd want to know. Just keep in mind that it's not such a big deal and you won't get burned.
     

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