Friends to more: Things just got wierd...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Bob Brown, Nov 5, 2008.

  1. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    So something interesting has happened recently.....

    Been good friends with this girl for a couple months and we decided to start dating........cept that days before our first official date, she starts being all cold and avoiding too much conversation.

    Only reason I was excited to date her was cause of the way we jelled well together.......but now its like wtf why change the dynamic?
     
  2. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    did you ask her on a date? what happened to go from friends to a romantic date?
     
  3. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Girls change modes when it comes to friends vs dating. Which is why I typically tell guys to make friends with a girl before asking them out. It's easier to hookup with a girl and have sex when you've started out as just friends. Showing dating interest in a girl changes her thinking and she starts thinking if she actually sees herself dating a guy like you.

    Have you had sex yet? By the sounds of your first post it sounds like you haven't and you just started dating. It is easier to get a girl to date you after you have already had sex.
     
  4. tqpolo

    tqpolo ***** Platinum Member OT Supporter

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    lol wat :rofl:
     
  5. bjonesy77

    bjonesy77 New Member

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    thats a VERY fine line you're talking about walking there.

    however, I think it can be done with some finesse
     
  6. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    the friends angle can and does work as long as YOU are the one who is insisting on being friends

    comments like "I'm so glad we are friends" and "No matter what happens, I know we will always be friends" are gold
     
  7. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    OP: great job of making the thread then disappearing :ugh2:
     
  8. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    I'm sorry if my day job got in the way of being on OT 24/7........:rolleyes:

    Yes, I asked her out on a date.
    No, we've not had sex yet.
     
  9. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    This is why I always say you should never ask friends on a date. It's just weird and now you see why. Asking someone on a date is what you do when you don't know them and want to get to know them. You already know this girl, you don't need a formal date. You gave her all this time up until the date to sit there and think about you and if she really wants to do this. Now you've created all this pressue instead of just letting things happen naturally. The way to go from friends to more is to step up the flirting and then eventually make a move.
     
  10. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    Well, I've never done the whole friends to date thing before........and honestly, I never was attracted to her in the beginning, but she grew on me.
    And actually, we started flirting with each other and stuff........except that we never really made any step after that, so I decided to take the initiative and make this move, but all of a sudden it has been off a bit.
     
  11. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    I think Midgetized is right though. Actually asking her out caused some awkward pressure. Should have just made a move that would have made your intentions clear and also less awkward (assuming she would have been receptive to you making a move)
     
  12. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Thank you for adding this. It's great to see when a girl recognizes this.

    (Is that you in the box in your profile pic? :rofl:)
     
  13. Memopad

    Memopad OT Supporter

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    I don't think i've ever been on a date with a girl i hadn't known for a while and had been friends with.

    I had probably one of the best dates ever with a girl i've been pretty good friends with for about 4 years, this was a couple weeks ago. We'd had "friend" dates before when she had a boyfriend, go grab a coffee and catch up and whatnot. But this was the real deal. Spent most of the day together, took her sailing, dinner, couch + fireplace chit chat, went back to her place and spent the night. Was quite the way to end a 3 year dateless spell :o

    So i guess it doesn't have to be akward. I've found it makes things easier if you know at least some things about eachother first.
     
  14. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    Thanks Memopad for the hope..........lol

    Honestly, either way I just hope it works out fine for us because it would suck to lose her as a friend as well.
     
  15. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    Damn, I thought you were outed as a Beast AE a long time ago?

    Advice: I really don't think you are going to pull off the "something more" part, but if that's what you want then you should be, by all means, trying your damnedest.
     
  16. forgotmyname

    forgotmyname Active Member

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    I thought it was common sense in the Vag to never friend a girl that you want to date/fuck because sooner or later that shit is going to hunt you down the road.

    At least that's what Beers like to say.
     
  17. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    that was what beer and demo thought, but I really am not and after going through all the old archive posts, I still don't see how he and I are similar.

    and I've been gone for a while due to work :(

    and the thing is, she gives mixed signals at times too so that may have been part of why I decided to make a move and see what of them.

    Well, like I said before, I've never gone down this road before, but this girl just seemed good enough to try.
     
  18. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    It was off because you made the wrong move. If she seems to be into you then you need to step up and make a move and kiss her at some point. She's waiting for you to do it, usually girls want guys to make the first move.

    Guy I liked that I was friends with for a couple months did this in a great way. We had always flirted but nothing happened and one day we were laying in bed watching tv and i reached up to turn it off and he grabbed me and kinda threw me down on the bed and kissed me :eek5: so fucking hot :naughty: If he had just asked me out on a date then it would have taken all the fun out of it.
     
  19. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    lol i've been saying that on here for years :mepoke:

    yeah that's me
     
  20. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Explain more about how you "decided to start dating". What does that mean? Did you just have a conversation about it and that was it? Have you kissed her yet?
     
  21. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    What? No. You be friends with her on your terms, not hers. You don't want the girl to 'friend' you first becuase then she has excused you as a potential lover in her mind. But if your goal is to date her or fuck her, then you make her think you are just friends while you make sexual advances on her. If you friend her first she will be thinking why this guy isn't interested in her. This minimizes the added awkward pressure girls go thru when you tell her you like her and want to date her. You've have to make the girl think that things are "just happening" because that's what girls ultimately want. They want things smooth and natural with no awkward pressure. But when you ask a girl out that you barely know, or you've known her for some time and then ask her on a date, it brings that awkward pressure into the picture.
     
  22. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    :bowdown: You don't know how rare it is to hear from a girl that actually gets this...
     
  23. Bob Brown

    Bob Brown bewshit, bewshit, bewshit

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    damn I've failed.

    well...........now just gotta find a way to salvage this :(
     
  24. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    you know what that means right? :eek3:
































    viper is beast :noes: :run:
     
  25. Viper

    Viper OT Supporter

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    So, I'm out in a restaraunt and I notice that my waitress is pretty cute. We flirt a little bit. I've never seen her before, and I have no idea if I'll ever see her again.

    Explain to me, with your theory, how I would pick this woman up, knowing that she's busy waitressing and likely doesn't have th time to build anything more than a flirty rapport in this first meeting.

    Yeah, I agree with you in some respects, but you are overtly broadbrushing a theory that doesn't apply to all situations and trying to preach it as some sort of gospel.
     

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