friends saying gf and i are moving too fast

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Project X, Feb 17, 2005.

  1. Project X

    Project X New Member

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    i've had a few friends tell me that i've changed and that my gf and i are moving too fast. my gf and i dont feel like anything is wrong and dont want things to change between us. We also feel like we're developing strong feelings towards eachother real fast, but do not really have a problem with it. What could the consequences be of moving too fast? Should I try to slow down or leave things the way they are?
     
  2. Muricane

    Muricane Active Member

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    That's a really vague question, the only answer that can be given from the available information is "depends".
     
  3. IgnitionGSR

    IgnitionGSR OT Abuser

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    yeah same here, I just met the girl 3 days ago, we're going out and already making out and shit.. i mean, her friends didnt say anything, but I thought it was too fast, but all we are doing is expressing our feelings towards each other.
     
  4. bella189

    bella189 Guest

    deffinatly depends on what 'to fast' is... also depends on how old you are and what you are looking for in life... i think a little more information is deffinatly needed to answer this question fairly...

    and honestly, the only people that are going to know that answer... is the both of you... together
     
  5. BiffHenderson

    BiffHenderson New Member

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    If you both feel that what you're doing is right, then don't worry about what others are thinking. If one of you is concerned, then it's time to talk.
     
  6. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    it depends on how you're changing... are you still hanging out with your friends as much as before your new girlfriend came into your life? if the answer is no, then maybe you should reevaluate what your friends are saying. :) chances are, they're probably right.

    aside from that, who cares about what the two of you do behind closed doors? imo, i don't think that's any of their information, and telling your friends is only bound to cause drama.
     
  7. Project X

    Project X New Member

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    we both are in love after a few months and we dont feel anything is wrong. she doesnt want anything to change and isnt the type that would stop me from hanging out with my friends. im a little concerned, because they are my friends and they may be saying that we are moving too fast because they are concerned and worried. i did stop hanging out with my friends a bit but i dont think ive changed or i am being weird.

    i dont want to mess up the relationship that my girl and i have
     
  8. trigger-hippy

    trigger-hippy Made in Scotland

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    Yeah, they're probably annoyed that your not hanging out with them as much, that's what happens. You should be able to hang around with your friends with her there but not be too coupley because that's just irritating for everyone else.
     
  9. Muricane

    Muricane Active Member

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    Outside looking in usually sees somethings those on the inside don't. :hsugh:
     
  10. IslanderOffRoad

    IslanderOffRoad Do you even lift kit? OT Supporter

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    your friends are jealous for 2 reasons
    1. you're spending more time with her than them
    2. they're single

    make time for the friends, because they're important, but they gotta understand that you like this girl too.
     
  11. sexhaver420

    sexhaver420 Buying stuff I don't need, with money I don't have OT Supporter

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    its none of your friends concerns... i wouldnt let it bother you two.... ask her if she thinks so... see what she says.
     
  12. Mugwump

    Mugwump Guest

    Bro's before ho's. It may not be her that's separating you from your friends, but it may be you. You may always try to invite her along whenever you hang out with them. Sometimes they don't want that.

    I had a friend who'd never go out clubbing with us because he couldn't take his underage girl with him. We were like "So what's your point?"
     
  13. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

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    :werd: your friends are right... you are wrong. you are changing! either accept it, or be ready to possibly lose them. :nono:
     
  14. Sionell89

    Sionell89 I grew up when I wasn't looking

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    Tell everyone to butt out. Tell them they should feel free to take notes for "I-told-you-so".
     
  15. weakone

    weakone New Member

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    Yeah, your friends shouldn't be the ones to judge whether you're moving too fast. When I started going out with my SO, he took my virginity after a few months. My friend had been going out with her boyfriend for 8 months before she let him get to her. When I told her how my SO and I had moved onto the next stage, she made me feel like I was dirty for not waiting longer.

    I came to the conclusion that that decision could be only mine, and I wouldn't go back and change it for anything. Your friends are your friends and they may be right, but you may be on different levels, they may be single, jealous, etc. Don't take it to heart unless it really starts messing things up for you.
     
  16. bobbarker70

    bobbarker70 New Member

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    dude, when i read this thread, i honestly didnt know what the hell your talking about. what is "too fast" ?
     
  17. AmCo

    AmCo Haters goin' Hate

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    i have a friend who changed big time. I understand you have to spend time with your gf but dont ever forget about your friends. They are there in the end even if you guys dont last.
     
  18. Muricane

    Muricane Active Member

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    :bowdown:

    Your time distribution (especially this early in a relationship) should be 50/50 between friends and g/f.

    Whether it be 3 nights with her, 3 nights with your friends and 1 alone (having time along is probably the most important thing), or 2-2-3, or 1-1-5. She should not take priority over them, period.
     
  19. Original

    Original OT Supporter

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    I fell in love with a girl within a couple months and I still am. She's the best thing that ever happened to me and things couldn't be more perfect. We've been with each other for about 6 months now. The thing I love is that nothing about me has changed. I'm still exactly the way I am and so is she. If my friends don't call me to do anything, I'll go do something with her, but if they wanna have a guy's night out and go play poker or something, it doesn't bother her that I'll be gone for a weekend or whatever. We both have separate lives, and we both respect that. Everything can't be done with us together, although the best times in my life happen when we are.

    Like Muricane said, you should have a 50/50 distribution, and you should never let what she wants to do, impede on what your buddies wanted you to do.
     
  20. Every relationship is different and in some there is definitly such thing as moving too fast. It also depends on the maturity levels, ages, seriousness etc...
     
  21. PSUPef2K

    PSUPef2K #Elite member

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    :werd:

    Be careful about listening to friends. Friends can be jealous and cause thoughts in your head that are not accurate. When you know, you know. That is all I can really say.

    Some of my friends say stuff about me and my current g/f , and try and make me paranoid. The fact of the matter is, I know how I feel, how she feels, and have nothing but confidence about our relationship.

    Finding the woman you are going to marry (i'm not saying thats what you are doing, but that is the point of dating after all, at least it should be) is more important then "friends" that can be jealous of what you have.

    Bottom line, prioritize.

    Read: Know what is important to you. Imagine your life without her, then imagine it without "friends." Realize also, you'll know who your real friends are in what and how they say you are "different."
     
  22. PSUPef2K

    PSUPef2K #Elite member

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    :werd:

    some more detail would help here.
     
  23. PSUPef2K

    PSUPef2K #Elite member

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    yeah, but its natural to spend time w/ an SO more then friends, especially in the beginning of a relationship.

    My SO doesn't FORCE me to spend time w/ her and not my friends. I don't see my friends as much on weekends because I am with her alot since we are semi-long distance. However, I do see them alot during the week and 1 day a weekend most the time regardless of spending time w/ my SO.

    as much as friends can look out for you, they also might not have a clue as to how you really feel and how she feels and how great it is to be with eachother. They can only know so much, and I reccomend taking what they say into consideration, but evaluate it before acting on it.
     
  24. PSUPef2K

    PSUPef2K #Elite member

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    I disagree with alot of the "distributing time" statements in this thread. If this is an issue in your relationship between you and her, it won't work. Someone will get pissed.

    I've seen this alot recently with my friends, and the one did stop hanging out alot, he is marrying her in october. Another is doing the same, but he still hangs out, just not as much. He will probably be proposing to her sooner then later.

    When you meet a woman that is important enough, you're friends probably will accuse you of being whipped and pulling away. Maybe so, but if it ends up being the girl you marry, they'll understand.

    My 2 cents.
     
  25. white lightnin

    white lightnin New Member

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    I have a buddy that went from being practically celibate for about 3 years to being very serious with a girl he met through his work. We used to hang out all the time, go out on the weekends, talk to each other regularly...

    I don't think I have hung out with him in like a month. Kind of pisses me off...

    Just remember, your friends will always be there for you... if you don't forget them.
     

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