Friend Zone

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by wdrentz, Oct 17, 2007.

  1. wdrentz

    wdrentz New Member

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    Is it possible to break out of the "friend zone"? I really don't know how to explain the situation but I was just wondering what most people think of this issue once you've been established as a friend.. Any hope at all for me?
     
  2. fray

    fray New Member

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    situation dependent.
     
  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Usually no.

    If you've said "omg i like you" and she has said "sorry, I just don't feel that way about you," then no, it is not possible to break out in 99.9% of cases.
     
  4. dew

    dew Banned

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    this girl thinks im "cute/hot" whatever and i think shes fucking hot as fuck.. but i dont know if she likes me :hsd:
     
  5. wdrentz

    wdrentz New Member

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    well here's the thing.. as I get more advice from people I'll start breaking it down so people can fully understand.

    when I first met the girl I really didn't think she was hot, blah blah blah..
    we started hanging out as just friends and then after a while I just started to fall for the girl. I never told her I liked her until a while after (6 months later) this but it was always so hard to tell because of mixed signals, etc. It's not like nothing existed because she would kiss me sometimes etc. but it was nothing too heavy. I just don't know if I am completely out of it or if I stand a chance.. She told me she saw me as a friend and sorry giving me mixed signals but she still gave the "something more" appeal. Haha this probably sounds bad on my part.. I truly am not as pathetic as I sound
     
  6. wdrentz

    wdrentz New Member

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    oh yeah and I forgot to tell that me and this girl hung out for all hours of the day together for a few months straight.. and I'm not gay or metro so she knew I was a legit dude not just in it because I wanted to be friends
     
  7. ass_kicker32

    ass_kicker32 New Member

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    tough dude...

    you already had the talk? Was she single at the time? I say forget it and move on. If she is interested, she will contact you when you''ve moved on.
     
  8. NCS

    NCS Active Member

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    it depends on how deep you dug your grave.

    if you were smart about it, kept up the flirting, was sexual, etc, but it just hasnt progressed past a certain point... then you have a chance.

    if she's written you off, and you talked about it, and she denied you, you're in really bad shape
     
  9. wdrentz

    wdrentz New Member

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    yeah we've already had the talk.. and she was single when we had it.. as a matter of fact she came to school (she was a freshman this past year) and she was with someone but didn't want to be tied up at the time so I told her that if she wasn't happy then she shouldn't still be with this guy and after a few times of talking this over with me she broke up with him and I was the first person she called as soon as she did it.. too be honest I was her best friend at school for the entire first semester.. SO I thought I was golden and easily had it.. I guess not. I alway did keep it fun and never really dug a grave but second semester she started to pledge a sorority etc and we just slowly faded apart and never talked as much
     
  10. wdrentz

    wdrentz New Member

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    also she told me that she didn't want to be in a relationship because she was just starting her first year at college and wanted to be able to have fun and not feel tied down. I think the timing of my situation may have severely dicked me over.. me wanting something and her wanting to let go for a while..
     
  11. ass_kicker32

    ass_kicker32 New Member

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    Could be. So, how long has it been since you and her had the talk and then how long has it been since you saw/talked/hung out with her?

    Being her confidant in times of relationship issues are NOT GOOD. She will complain about her BF to you because you are safe. Thats usually the first sign.

    I think youre fucked.
     
  12. DTR rex

    DTR rex New Member

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    Agreed for the most part.

    This is why it is usually best (if you like a girl and are currently her friend) to keep up the flirty behavior and hang out but never actually directly tell her that you like her. When the girl is interested she will let you know eventually (often when drunk) and then once you know she's interested is when you make your move and let her know you've liked her all along.

    Telling her when you aren't sure if she likes you is a pretty solid way to end up friendzoned.
     
  13. wdrentz

    wdrentz New Member

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    I agree a lot with what you're saying.. Too be honest I think I'm just trying to hide from the truth.. I really think I am fucked and I really think I need to let go completely. And yeah the safe zone was me.

    And it's been since May since I've seen her. I ended up failing out of school (hah). And then I did the worst by trying to get her to see me one last time before she left and then I got pissed when our plans to go out for dinner failed. She knows that I care, which is really really bad.

    Man how I wish I could just start over. I don't think I gave her a good impression of me either. Because like I said I failed out which means I was a complete pile of shit and did nothing for that entire year. Who would want to be with someone who's lazy and has no motivation (I didn't even go to the gym at the time). Good thing I've found motivation within myself and have started doing a lot for myself for the first time in my life..

    CLIFFS: DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME READING THIS.. I SUCK AT LIFE..
     
  14. wdrentz

    wdrentz New Member

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    I agree with every word you say, you're a god.. OT is the shit, without you guys telling me what I've been telling myself it's always easy to be like "nah, that can't be how its going to end up or nah, that can't be the truth."
    But I know what I need to do, I'm just being a pussy.. Move on, ftw.

    and NPHX I read the lost post you wrote on the guy who lost his fiance's forum and it's true.. that will be great when you see her down the road and you don't want her and she is like "oh shit, I fucked up!" I think that may end up applying here as well..
     
  15. fast and furious

    fast and furious New Member

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    99% of the time, nope.

    For every success story there will be 123761026730723 failures.
     
  16. wdrentz

    wdrentz New Member

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    I have been emotionally wrecking myself since last November and even more so since I last saw her in May.. the thing is.. I'm really not that weak willed of a person its just for some reason THIS GIRL has me completely.. and I know I really just need to let go.. if we cross paths one day down the road things will be different and who knows but right now.. the people we are today, things are not going to work out.. and thats a fact..

    its not worth putting yourself through this at this young of an age.. despite your earlier thread I was just agreeing with what you've told me because its 100% true and you and I both know it.. you know how to do with these things as do I.. it's just DOING it is the hard part haha
     
  17. fray

    fray New Member

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    If you're having trouble moving past the 'what-if' or 'why not', why don't you just ask her about it? Is that too girly of a move?
     
  18. fray

    fray New Member

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    really? i guess it is if you're asking and then still dwelling on it. I was thinking if he asked, then he wouldn't give a shit anymore and it wouldn't be a big deal. But, the inital asking does come off awful chatty and I can see how it could be misconstrued.
     
  19. Abomb

    Abomb New Member

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    if you are good looking, yes
     
  20. TXLBS

    TXLBS New Member

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    Who gives a fuck. If you're a loser, then fuck you. If you go to a good school and have a badass future lined up for yourself, fuck her for not following the $. Theres plenty of women BEGGING to find a man who can provide more than the pennies on the dollar that a CC can bring.
     
  21. wdrentz

    wdrentz New Member

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    Nah I really think in my case NPHX is right.. its gotten to the point where I do need to let go.. let her do her own thing and I need to do mine.. become the best individual I can and later down the road IF we end up crossing paths again maybe things will be different.. maybe she'll something in me she has never seen before but back then I personally didn't have anything to offer to her.. The more and more posts I read I'm becoming to realize that I don't need her they way I think I do. I need to do for myself and if she jumps on my life bandwagon then thats all good. If not shes only helped me realize that I need to build myself to my full potential.. She truly did spark something inside of me that made me realize that I have so much potential and I haven't made a single effort to work towards making myself the best I can be. And even if we never end up together I would still love to see her 5 years down the road and be like look "thanks, a lot without you who knows how much longer it would taken for me to find myself and for me to become the best I can possibly be."
     
  22. PocoDiablo

    PocoDiablo New Member

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    The thing I never understand is the guys who waste years trying to get with one chick, when there are many other options.

    If you can get with 10 other women, they you can probably get with your "one." The fact that you cannot get with 10 other women is more likely the real issue.
     
  23. wdrentz

    wdrentz New Member

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    well there you are wrong sir.. I have always completely been a man whore (fucked double digits and hooked up/made out with God knows how many) and girls usually don't mean shit to me.. just meat.. I'm usually the heartbreaker and even when this one came along I wasn't even attracted to her.. as time went on and we became good friends I fell for her. And after a while I realized she was absolutely perfect.. Gorgeous, intelligent, athletic, classy, you name it and she had it.. Thats why I fell so hard for my best friend..
     
  24. wdrentz

    wdrentz New Member

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    and I have a handfull of girls who absolutely sweat the shit out of me.. I just don't want anything to do with them because they don't do what this girl does for me.. so there are options, options I just don't want
     
  25. NinjaX

    NinjaX Where's my Tyler Durden?

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    cut contact for several months
    then game her again
     

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