SRS friend is still a virgin

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Pepe, Apr 3, 2010.

  1. Pepe

    Pepe New Member

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    so one of my good guy friends, like the title says, is still a virgin

    i am going to be 26 in may, he will be 25 in august. we have a pretty close group (back from high school), even though we all went different places for undergrad, masters, law school, etc. he is definitely one of the smarter members of the group, but lacks the social skills that some others have. when we get together and go out, the main thing on most of our minds is obviously girls, and while he talks about them with us, he NEVER pursues them in a social setting. for awhile we just figured he was shy, some people even thought that he was gay (which he is not, that convo has been had), but i now can tell he is just so afraid of being rejected, that he would rather not even try because he doesn't want to face that risk.

    to make matters worse it doesn't help that some of us in the group have always been able to pull some pretty hot tail, and like all guys we talk/brag about it amongst each other. anyways, a couple weeks ago he opened up to me while drunk saying that he was getting really upset with the fact that he has never even had a girlfriend or had sex, and that he just doesn't know what to do anymore. clearly this supports my judgement that it is all in his head now, and unless it happens, things are just going to get worse.

    how would you go about addressing this? i have tried numerous times to go up and talk to girls while out, introduce him to her or her friends (hot by the way because his standards are WAYYYYY too high), but every time i do that he either walks away, is a complete dick (and says they were bitches when i ask him wtf) or just acts like a complete tool and removes any chance of a score.

    i have a couple ideas that i'm tossing around, because i really believe he just needs to hook up with a girl and get the monkey off his back.

    1. find a girl from one of my lady friends who wants to "take one for the team"
    2. pay a hooker in vegas when we go this summer
    3. keep trying what i have been, even a blind squirrel finds a nut sometimes

    he is not a bad looking guy at all, he makes BANK, his style is not top notch, but he isn't a dirt ball by any means, he just lacks confidence which is what most girls are attracted to. anyone have any ideas?
     
  2. TheManLouisianaFace

    TheManLouisianaFace and decide!

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    Why are you so concerned about another man's cock? I would have the gay conversation with yourself, not him.
     
  3. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    Let him live his life, you live yours.
     
  4. tan koi

    tan koi Guest

    and i knew a 30 year old virgin... he waited until he found what he liked.
     
  5. Pepe

    Pepe New Member

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    the thing is, he has told me this is bothering him but he just doesn't know how to get it to happen (clearly), so as a friend, i'm wondering if there is anything i can do to help him out. its not about me worrying about him or "being concerned with another man's cock". he came to me and told me, but i am not sure how to approach this or help him for that matter...
     
  6. Toxica

    Toxica New Member

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    He can only help himself. He needs to be more outgoing and quit being afraid of rejection. You can still try to hook him up with any girls you know or meet but the rest is up to him.
     
  7. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

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    I'm in a similar boat. He's not a virgin, he was just an awkward puppy love stuck nerd who pined over a hot chick way out of his league in HS and then joined the AF, ended up in special ops, and hasn't really been exposed to a decent group of girls.

    I dont recommend just doing the work for him, I'm gonna try and get my hommie laid by warming the waters with a girl in his league and then introducing them and letting him do the real work. Once he's comfortable with a girl and knows she isn't going to diss him and walk away he drops most of his social barriers and short of being a goofy ginger, he's got a lot going for him to people with brains.

    :werd:

    Like I said above, warm the waters but let him jump off the deep end or else he'll feel underaccomplished in the long run.
     
  8. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    You said he told you when he was drunk. You need to have a conversation with him about it while he's sober and ask him if he even wants you to try helping him. Otherwise, I repeat: Let him live his life, you live yours.
     
  9. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Find an easy girl, get the pussy off the pedestal, then see if he wants some help with his game now that he's got experience with the goal? :dunno:
     
  10. zzay0014

    zzay0014 New Member

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    Your friend finds it very difficult to express himself emotionally. He rarely opens up to anyone. This makes it impossible to be in a relationship, even though he secretly desires to love and be loved.

    It's easier for him to hide this fact by blowing it all off without even trying - a tactic he's learned over the years by exposing his weaknesses in the past and getting shot down.

    But apathy comes at a great price.
     
  11. no lol today

    no lol today Soy la bailarina de la muerta. OT Supporter

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    Give him a confidence booster that will give him some validation that he can approach girls!

    Find a couple chicks & maybe one of the guys to go out with him & shop for some new clothes that are flattering & cool. Do it with clear indication that this is his preparation for getting a date. Do everything you can to speak encouragingly.

    He probably needs to be set up with somebody initially if he's so timid he can't even start a conversation. Do you know what he's interested in? Does he want someone he can just date and get to know or does he want a total slut to get it over with? If you're going to set him up with someone, set him up for success by finding out what he wants. Getting him a hooker would likely not be a very successful scenario if he has a lot of emotions he needs to work out. Hookers are for dudes who truly can't cope with emotional situations.

    Oh ... & how often does he typically have to speak to women in a casual manner? Does he handle it alright?
     
  12. kingtoad

    kingtoad OT Supporter

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    Find him a girl that will fuck him. Women are whores, and there are plenty of them like that out there. After he gets laid he will get a boost of confidence and realize pussy feels better than rosey palm, so he'll work harder at it.
     
  13. PureEnergy

    PureEnergy New Member

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    Wow your such a good friend. If you were anyone else, you would of cut ties a long time ago.
     
  14. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

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    Are his standards high?

    Find another girl as shy as he is or just get him a hooker
     
  15. oakback

    oakback New Member

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    How about he:
    1. lowers his standards
    2. sticks around and chats
    3. stop being a dick/tool

    You can't expect women to want to jump his bones if he's only hitting on the hottest chick in the room and being a jerk.
     
  16. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    you dont need to do anything new. you are being a good friend by introducing him to girls. it is then up to him from there.
     
  17. nikkysab88

    nikkysab88 New Member

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    Perhaps introduce him to some dating sites?
     
  18. hypotenuse

    hypotenuse New Member

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    he sounds love-shy

    wikipedia.org, very interesting
     
  19. Afanasi

    Afanasi Heterosapien

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    i've had a lot of friends who didn't get laid until later on in college. the best thing to do first is to get his virginity out of the way. it will probably completely change his mind set. remember losing your virginity for the first time? it probably doubled or tripled my confidence when it happened to me. that's when you realize that girls aren't so scary.

    if he makes bank, he should be able to improve his style. take him shopping and get him clothes that fit well, some nice shoes, etc so that he looks snazzy. then, get a girl and a friend of hers to go on a double date with you and him. get him to take a shot or two to loosen up beforehand. do something fun, i don't know where you live but i'd probably go out to the beach and chill at a boardwalk bar or somewhere outdoors. a comfortable environment for all of you. maybe give him ideas for questions to ask and how to read a woman's body language.

    when you find a date for him, try to find someone who's like him. there are lots of socially awkward girls out there too. get everyone to engage each other in conversation.

    comfort + a fun time + booze + chemistry + DANCING can get people laid pretty quick.

    that's just my $.02
     
  20. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    I guess I never knew you could lose your virginity more than once :dunno:
     
  21. Afanasi

    Afanasi Heterosapien

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    hi smartass, i meant "having sex for the first time" :nono:
     
  22. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    Well there's giving, and there is receiving. :eek4:
     
  23. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    :eek4:

    I'm exit only, thanks.
     

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