SRS "Friend" got a DUI... wants me at the trial

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Malicious, Jan 22, 2008.

  1. Malicious

    Malicious Whats in your hatch?

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    I'm looking for a little advice here... I already have my thoughts but I'm curious to see if I'm out of line. All of these events take place in Canada.

    The story is as follows:

    This primarily involves 2 "friends" of mine, both of whom I went to high school with and have been fairly close to since then (I'm 25 now).

    Friend A - I live with
    Friend B - Is closer with friend A than me, but we've spent quite a bit of time together. The only reason he's around any more lately is because of friend A.

    So, June 2, 2007... we plan a round of golf with a bunch of buddies, a BBQ in the afternoon and a trip down to some bars in the evening. Obviously there is alcohol being consumed all day long. Fast forward to the end of the evening... we (A, B and myself) take a cab from the bars to friend B's house to drop him off, fully expecting to continue taking the cab home where A and I live.

    Friend B comes up with the idea to drive us home, which is about a 10 minute drive straight down a 90km/h highway. This was obviously not the smartest move, but he was fairly insistent about it and tends to do this sort of thing quite often (I'll come back to this). Anyway, we get around the corner from his house where he goes to enter the expressway. The roads in the area are under construction, so in his infinite wisdom he grabs a construction pylon from out of the drivers window of his car and continues to drive down the onramp dragging this beside him. Upon entering the highway, he lets it go and immediately there are lights behind us as he nearly took out a cop car with the thing. Needless to say, we get pulled over... he denies having drank anything but gets the breathalyzer and blows over. Car gets towed, he goes to jail for a few hours, loses license for 90 days.

    Fast forward to now. After a few court dates, the trial is set for February 12th. He wants friend A and myself to visit with his lawyer this Wednesday night and has concocted a totally fabricated version of events that he's trying to get us to recite at his trial. Friend A being much closer to him now, even moreso due to some other circumstances I won't get into... seems more than happy to oblige. He confronted me last night about this issue and it got fairly heated. Lying under oath is not something that I am taking lightly. My point to him was that both friend A and I were in the car and saw the same things -- if he is willing to go out on a limb for you and recite the fabricated story, then having me do so as well is only going to increase the potential for the prosecutor to find some holes in the story. I have yet to be subpoenaed for this trial and have said repeatedly I don't plan to attend unless I am.

    I'm having a tough time with the moral side of this, mainly because he has a long history of bad judgement, driving drunk, run-in's with the police (mostly minor issues) and so on. I've since come to realize that I am mostly done with being associated with either of them. Friend A is moving out of our place at the end of this month and I'm looking forward to being done with them. I've recently gone back to school for my MBA part-time, and it's time to cut out the party animals.

    Thoughts? Thanks in advance :hs:
     
  2. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    Then don't go. Or better yet, go, and tell what really happened. You have to do what you feel is right.

    And as for your friend...if he makes bad choices, he needs to learn to deal with the consequences of those choices.

    Next time he asks about this, give him this simple answer:

    No
     
  3. Malicious

    Malicious Whats in your hatch?

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    Thanks... I told him to give me the lawyer's address and I'd meet him there Wednesday. I haven't heard from him yet and if I don't before later I'm just going to tell him outright I'm not getting involved.
     
  4. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    theres no moral issues associated with keeping your friend from having to waste 5000 dollars. lie your ass off.
     
  5. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    you are a shitty friend if you dont. a truly horrible horrible friend. you either put him into about 5k debt, or you help him just stay out of debt or even jail.

    morals have to include understand the results of your actions

    here is what you are faced with

    Freind A: $0
    Friend A: -$5000

    You: Lie
    You: Honest
     
  6. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    you just told him to let his freind donate 5k to the government, what if he has kids? student loans? a mortgage? or a car payment or anything else?

    i totally disagree. you need to either be a friend or dont be a freind, theres no half way there.


    ive got too many people who have gotten owis in iowa city and elsewhere to know that you dont learn anything from getting arrested, you learn you should lie your ass off every time.
     
  7. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

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    The guy was stupid enough to drive while intoxicated...why the hell should he get out of it?

    If he has loans or shit...TOO BAD. That's his problem.

    If he got himself in debt 5k on a credit card, would you still want him to get out of it?

    And for the record, anyone who is stupid enough to knowingly drive drunk is not going to be my friend, or would stop being my friend at that point. Same for if a friend asked me to do what is being asked in this situation.

    the OP's friend should have considered the results of HIS actions...not to mention, what if the OP does lie, and gets shot down in court or charged with perjury? Wouldn't he be fined or perhaps sent to jail?

    Then the OP's friend is being a bad friend, by your logic.
     
    Last edited: Jan 22, 2008
  8. Malicious

    Malicious Whats in your hatch?

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    He's already paid out the ass for this.

    There's no moral issues here? What about the families of people who have been killed by drunk drivers? What about the need for him to learn a lesson? What about lying under oath?

    Believe me, it was only a matter of time before something like this happened to him. He already has friend A to tell his version of the events... If I decline to do the same, he's no further ahead or behind.
     
  9. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    I would not go to court and lie under oath for anyone - not even my own family. It could land you in hot water as well if you are found to be lying. You may lose your friends for doing what is right, but if they are asking you to do something that is not right, then perhaps they aren't really your friends.
     
  10. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    . I wouldn't lie under oath. And I agree with you that it is time to cut these friends out of your life. You don't want to get into any other trouble because they're being immature guys. Best wishes and good luck.
     
  11. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    exactly, hes already been punished. why not help him out.

    Its not a matter of time before he kills someone, that argument is bullshit. Ive been drinking and driving since i was 14... *(i dont anymore)... i did when i was 14 b.c if i was drunk and my mom picked me up, i had my permit and if i didnt drive she would know what was up.

    see what the lawyer has to say at least.
     
  12. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    well this thread would be considered evidence of perjury. perjury is near impossible to prove or charge.
     
  13. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    and most lawyers wont risk their licenses to get someone off on an DUI.
     
  14. Malicious

    Malicious Whats in your hatch?

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    It's not my place to judge whether or not he's been punished... that's for the court to decide.

    I won't comment on your situation, but certainly the advice coming from you needs to be taken with a grain of salt.

    Yes, perjury is likely very hard to prove or charge. But 0% chance > 0.1% chance.
     
  15. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    yea it is your place to judge that. its your moral code. which seems to mean if your friends down forget about him

    whereas i would rather do anything to keep my friends out of trouble.... jail and fines are wasted resources in my book. its not justice if you dont hurt anyone to begin with
     
  16. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    i truly dont see how anyone equate the legal system = justice.

    it doesnt. jail for pot/non violent crime/ anything that doesnt hurt someone doesnt = justice

    a fine doesnt = justice either, it just means more money going out of your friends pocket
     
  17. Malicious

    Malicious Whats in your hatch?

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    Let's put it this way:

    If he went through a RIDE program and blew slightly over while driving me home, I'd legitimately feel bad because it just as easily could have been me or someone else in that position. I'd go to court and do whatever I could to help him out.

    However, that wasn't the case as I outlined above. Now I am being asked not only to lie about how much he drank, but his reasons for the pylon incident which was 110% his own fault.

    For the record, I drove his damn car home the following day after it was impounded and spent the following 90 days giving him rides so everyone could still hang out.

    He's had his license back since September and he's still drinking and driving... albeit not to the same extent, but the lesson needs to be learned. He's been in countless accidents due to his careless driving, had speeding tickets and so on. He can't keep getting a get out of jail free card.

    (And for the record, he's not facing jail, just a license suspension and possible fines)
     
  18. drewin

    drewin New Member

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    when you live in a society and reap the benefits of said society, it is your _moral_ responsibility to abide by the rules, just like anyone else, whether they be in your mind "just" or not. If you do not agree with said rules, take extra precautions to not get caught, or avoid the situation altogether (i.e. not driving down the road with a pylon out your window). Friend B is horribly irresponsible and this situation could've been easily avoided. Although I think it should be said that original poster and Friend A should have "insisted" on taking the cab home in the first place, but that is neither here nor there. I think if you don't want to lie, you shouldn't have to and it is your duty to tell the truth if subpoenaed..just my 2 cents
     
  19. Malicious

    Malicious Whats in your hatch?

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    I agree fully.
     
  20. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    don't lie under oath. people who drive drunk deserve whatever shit happens to them.
     
  21. KatWoman

    KatWoman •••••••••••

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    Let's hope he learns his lesson then.
     
  22. Punky72

    Punky72 New Member

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    You have to do what YOU think is best.

    I for one have never drove drunk or rode with anyone who has been drinking. Whatever fines your friend has to pay and has already paid, well, there is a thing called consequences for our actions.

    I don't believe I would be able to lie for anyone in a court of law or anywhere else for that matter. Morally speaking I believe to lie is rude, disrespectful, and plain wrong.

    You really have two options. You can either go to court and tell the truth, or don't go (unless you receive a subpoena) and disassociate yourself from these people. Ultimately, you have to do what you think is right, because you are the one who has to live with that decision.
     
  23. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    I've had three cousins, on three separate occassions, killed in motor vehicle accidents because the other motorist(s) were intoxicated.

    Want to talk about morals? How about the thought of defending a possible future vehicular murderer? Yeah, it's farfetched, but it's a possibility.

    Those who drink and drive are irresponsible, moronic, and complete waste of the oxygen we breathe.

    You have a head on your shoulders, don't succumb to others bullshit. Do whats right.
     
  24. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    im sorry about your cousins, but....

    a possible future murderer?

    so by your logic everyone with a gun is a future murderer kuz people who own guns sometimes murder people! give me a break. yea its farfetched.
     
  25. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    No, by my logic people who drink and drive are possible murderers. What, am I wrong? Come with me to the cemetary, I'll show you how farfetched it is.
     

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