SRS Friend considering running away.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by iSnipeCattle, Oct 9, 2009.

  1. iSnipeCattle

    iSnipeCattle OT Supporter

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    Me and my friend are 17, and we are attending Community College.
    He hates community college (even though he is an A student).
    And his ex-girlfriend goes to the same community college.
    His ex was his only girlfriend he has ever had. He is kind of a shy person who keeps to himself, but he really opened up to this girl. They dated around 6 months. They broke up a few months back, and it has pretty much trashed his emotions. (I think it is absurd how he is letting it ruin his life). He hardly ever even smiles anymore. He says everything reminds him of her, and he is still in love with her.

    He wants to run away and just start living on the streets. He is talking about just living by himself on the streets for the rest of his life because he cant trust women anymore because they make promises they dont keep and things of that sort.

    I think since he is in the running start program, he should stick it out and try to get as many college credits as he can. It would be a waste not to. I think he should suck it up and get over it. He is blowing his emotions way out of proportion, but I dont know how to let him know that.

    What do you guys think?
    How do I approach this?
     
  2. deusexaethera

    deusexaethera OT Supporter

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    If he's generalizing one bad breakup to all women, he obviously has severe issues with his mother -- or possibly his father, if his father was his primary emotional provider when he was a child.

    In any event, running away only solves problems if you're running away from the person causing those problems (i.e. an abusive parent/spouse/relative), and if you have somewhere to run to as well. Neither is the case here.

    I would approach it aggressively, to be honest. Get in his face and tell him to grow the hell up and be a man about his problems -- but then back off and be supportive of his attempts to do so. In any event, coddling him will only encourage him to continue limping along.
     
  3. iSnipeCattle

    iSnipeCattle OT Supporter

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    But he is a shy quiet guy.
    Wont this discourage him?
    Make me an enemy too?
     
  4. gkremian

    gkremian New Member

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    It's possible that he might become very upset with you for telling him the truth, but continuing to be an enabler isn't going to fix his problems, it's only going to make it worse. Telling him to man the fuck up might lose you a friend but its more likely to make him... man the fuck up.
     
  5. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Eh?
    Ask him how living on the streets is going to solve his problems.

    It won't. You should be able to pick holes in any theory he presents to you. Tell him that running from his problems doesn't make them disappear, it just puts them off and wastes time and energy. Help him build a viable plan for living. Preferably one that includes counselling, since he seems to have some unresolved emotional issues.
     
  6. iSnipeCattle

    iSnipeCattle OT Supporter

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    Poking holes in his logic seems more like something I can do.
    I dont want to loose him as a friend.
     
  7. kf4zht

    kf4zht New Member

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    Just fricken let him, people are best a knowing what they need in their gut. He probably needs a change. Can't blame him, I wish I did a long time ago.

    I hate it when people think they know what their friends need.
     
  8. iSnipeCattle

    iSnipeCattle OT Supporter

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    I hate it when somebodies friend lets them do something stupid.
     
  9. Pepe

    Pepe New Member

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    he is 17, punch him in the face/nuts and tell him to man up and not let a girl control his life (even if she isn't in it he is allowing the memory of her make him unhappy). at the end of the day though, he is his own person and you can't control him. so if he chooses to do this (doesn't really sound too stable imo), you have to let him.
     
  10. oakback

    oakback New Member

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    Women suck = live on the streets? I don't get is logic.

    Does he have a job? Who is paying for his schooling/housing?

    Tell him to wait until he's 18, then do whatever the hell he wants, that way his parents aren't in trouble with the cops and such. He'll either be a loser his whole life, or (most likely) figure out he's acting like an idiot, and get his mind straight.
     
  11. Socrates

    Socrates New Member

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    That statement is wrong on so many levels, the main one being the fact that people are responsible for their own life and you can't control them. Most people will do what they want, regardless of what their friends "let" them do.

    He is 17. Just let him go live on the street. He won't make it 3 days before he can't handle missing all of the luxeries he is taking for advantage.
     

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