SRS Friend becoming an alcoholic.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by BBQ Monster, Feb 11, 2005.

  1. BBQ Monster

    BBQ Monster New Member

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    I posted this in the Assylum, but they told me it would probably be better too post it here. So here it goes.

    How do you tell a room mate that you are worried about them? My room mate (Josh) is a realy good friend to me, he is just doing things I think he needs to stop. He has a drinking problem, he use too only drink during the weekends, but now he is drinking everyday of the week. I want to talk to him, but I just do not know how to address it. I do not want him to think I am calling him a alcoholic, but that is basically what he is becoming. Since he started drinking so much, I am guessing his routine is kinda messed up. He stays up all hours of the night slaming cabinets, turning his music up loud and talking to himself. It is bothering me not just because of his health and what the effects are having on him, but how it is also keeping me and my boy-friend up at night.
    I work early hours at a news station from 4:00 in the morning till 1:00 in the afternoon. I myself need sleep, but I am just so worried about his well being that even if he wasn't drinking so much I would still worrie.

    He just recently broke up with his g-f (which is my best friend). Ever since the two of them have seperated he has isolated himself from me, his family and everyone that cares about him. The only time I can realy talk to him, or when he will actually say two words too me is when he is drunk. I care alot about my room mate, I just want the best for him. So how do you tell a room mate they need help? If I could only get him to open up and confess what is bothering him, I might actually be able to help him quite the drinking. Any advice guys?
     
  2. eligh

    eligh Go To A Meeting

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    Well, I'm not sure what kind of relationship you have with him. If he was my roommate, I would've already told him he's keeping me up at night, and it's pissing me off. It's understandable that you care about him, but I wouldn't live with someone in the disease of alcoholism by choice. I'd definitely be getting out of there ASAP.

    If it was me, I would just tell him I think he's developing a drinking problem ... and I'd like to take him to a meeting. If he was uncooperative, I'd tell him I'm going to be moving out soon (or kicking him out if I have the power).

    You could also see if he won't open up to you about the pain he feels from the recent loss of relationship, and curtail into his drinking problems from there. Depending on how violent/dangerous he is, you may want to have your boyfriend or another friend mediate the situation.

    My last suggestion would be lying to him in order to get him to go a meeting. You could say you got a Drunk In Public, and you were forced to go to AA for court, and ask him if he would accompany you to support you. Good luck.
     
  3. Zardoz

    Zardoz Guest

    I know you want to help your friend but there is a tough road ahead. First if this is not an episodic depression that he may recover from on his own. You will need to have a better understanding of how the Alcoholic ticks. For this you should read the Big Book. If not the first 164 pages then just read chapters eight and nine. The pain of your friend is something he will have to reach bottom of and then reach out for help. This is something he will need to want and want to go to any length to get. But there is help in the 12 steps.


    http://www.recovery.org/aa/bigbook/ww/
     
  4. turbobuick420

    turbobuick420 New Member

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    im going thru a similar situation. my good friend is killing himself with alcohol. his mother and father died when he was young from disease due to drinking. i used to love going out and drinking with the guy. its been getting out of hand recently he got 3 dwi's in one week. so he went in for treatment, he got kicked out of treatment and actually stopped drinking for a month. then just the other day he relapsed and has been hammered 24/7 since. he comes stumbling over to my house starts :mb: . then passes out at my house for hours on end. he is really annoying me. i tell him all the time that he is a dumbass and needs to stop drinking but he just laughs and starts blabin again. i wish he could drink in moderation but he cant. he is on another drinking binge now, where whole weeks and months are blacked out, and he doesnt remember anything when he actually comes too. he is a very book smart person, he has a degree with a major university in biochemistry. but he hasnt had a job in forever. drinking is his priority. i dont know what to do, he is in AA and satop now. and it doesnt help. i ususally physically have to throw him out of my house to get him to leave.
    yesterday he drank a whole 1.75L of sky and a 12 pack. i dont know how he does it, and hes a lightweight. he went to a doctor of some sort and the doctor said he needs to be back on riddilin(sp?). anyone think this would help? he is a spazz. he said he feels depressed on riddilin.
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2005

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