SRS Freaked out about moving in with girlfriend

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Bleed, Jan 23, 2008.

  1. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    Well tomorrow I'm going to sign a lease and move into an apartment with my girlfriend on Friday. We've been dating for about 3 years now and just moving in. We talked about it for a year or so and finally decided to give it a try.

    I love her a lot but a part of me is still wondering if this is a good decision on my part. Is she the one I want to marry? I dont know, but so far she's the only person I'd even seriously consider marrying. Not sure if this is normal to be freaked out like this or what.

    Sigh :hsd:
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Normal....but the beauty of living together before marriage and even an engagement is you really find out if this person is the one you want to marry. The only thing you have to keep in mind is enjoy it. If the joy runs out and you find yourself realize it'll never work in the long run you cannot drag it out.
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    You need to give it a try, give yourself a chance. :wavey:
     
  4. ChaCha

    ChaCha Active Member

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    give it a year before you seal the deal

    peal behind their facade
     
  5. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    Thanks for the advise guys. Signing the lease in 3 hrs :noes:
     
  6. Mulsanne

    Mulsanne The Man = Funk Fusion Chaos

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    that sounds kinda negative....I prefer "make sure there is no facade"
     
  7. kort2885

    kort2885 New Member

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    It is completely normal to be nervous. My boyfriend (now fiance) moved in together a year and a half ago after dating for almost 2 years. It really helped us get to know a lot more about each other. Plus you get all those stupid living together fights out of the way. I wouldn't wanna have to deal with that on top of the stresses of just having gotten married. The only thing that sucks about it is that you never really miss each other because you're together all the time. Some advice I would give you is to give her the same amount of affection and attention that you give her now. That's one thing that has been a problem since we moved in together. A lot of times we are in the same room but we don't say a word because he's on his computer and I'm watching tv or whatever. I would say just to make sure not to let the romance die. Good luck!
     
  8. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    thats really good advise thanks.
     
  9. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Excellent man, that's really great news. I can understand your anxiety. It's a test period. This is when it gets "real" -- so it's ok. I'm pretty sure you'll both pass.

    It's like cold feet before saying "I do" -- it's normal man. A lot of people have those feelings and doubts, but listen -- you're saying "I do" to a lease, not "I do" to the phrase "till death do you part", so it's ok. You still have time to figure out exactly what you want and who you want to be with! Maybe it's her, maybe it's not -- but you're ok, alright man?

    Treat her like you always have, behave as you always have. As circumstances come up, be flexible and make some adjustments together. You'll know when it's intolerable and when it's just uncomfortable (adapting).
     
  10. eXyle

    eXyle ׂ

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    it's normal, i went through the same thing. accept the fact that things will be different beforehand, so you don't feel blind-sided when something comes up. you two will need to be flexible and communicate freely as you both ease into this new phase of your relationship.

    also, don't let the relationship fizzle out and become routine. you two still need to go out on dates and make time for the relationship portion of your lives. sometimes, since you live together and see each other all the time, one person doesn't feel the need to do something in order to spend more time together, which can and will lead to issues.

    lastly, give yourselves some breathing room. spend an evening away from each other every so often. i've always enjoyed having a guy's night, her having a girl's night and then having a date night. guy's night and girl's night take place on a different day so that one of you can have the place to yourself for a night if you want.

    wait, one more thing, get tivo or a dvr. might be a non-issue for you two. but i like watching my shows and being able to pause/record when she wants to discuss something. this way i don't get upset with her interrupting or making me miss something on tv :wiggle:.
     
  11. ChaCha

    ChaCha Active Member

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    its not a question of if there's a facade

    everyone has some kind of front, determining to which extreme is the problem.
     
  12. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    The important question here is do you guys have a way out if you break up? Can one of you afford the apt on your own so you can sign the other person off the lease if it comes to that? If not then yes you should be nervous. If you leave yourself an out though then there's nothing to really worry about. If things go bad then someone can leave. Living together really isn't as big of a deal as people make it out to be.
     
  13. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    If you are together all the time then that is a problem with your relationship, it has nothing to do with living together. Living together doesn't mean you both come home every night and sit on your asses and never go out. You should still have hobbies, go to the gym, hang out with friends and family, etc. If you still have your own life then you'll have a chance to miss each other and that won't be an issue.
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd: :werd: :werd:

    OP, you've signed the lease now? Tell us in a week what it's been like.
     
  15. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    yeah i can easily afford the place on my own. money is not an issue here.
     
  16. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    yeah i dont get home from work until about 8pm. i work until 5 or 6 and then go to the gym or hit some balls at the driving range. she goes to dinner with her friends all the time.

    right now, i stay over at her apt about 5/7 days a week as is. weekends we hang out unless i'm hanging with the boys. shes not a gf that tries to horde me away from my friends. shes very understanding of when i want to go snowboarding with my guy friends or play golf with them.
     
  17. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    i can tell u what the last 4 hours have been like.....i havent even thought about it at all. actually im kind happy that i get to move about 2 miles from work so i can start riding my bike and that i live about a block from the golf course. :)

    we talked about it before but we both agreed that if shit hits the fan, that we'll split the $1800 termination fee and do it amicably.
     
  18. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    I'm not seeing what you are freaked out about then :dunno: If it doesn't work out then she moves out and life goes on. If you can't live together then you know that marriage would never work.
     
  19. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    Why would you need to end the lease if you can afford it yourself?
     
  20. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    would you pay $1525/mo for a 1brd place?
     
  21. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    :rofl: you are in socal, what do you expect? :p I would really look into stuff about terminating a lease though, that could come back to bite you in the ass. I think I've seen apt applications that ask if you've ever terminated a lease anywhere and that they would reject you if you had.
     
  22. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    yeah seriously. socal sucks for rent :o
     
  23. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    :werd: such an awesome place though :bowdown: i'm seriously considering moving to the whale's vagina in a year or so :run:
     
  24. Bleed

    Bleed New Member

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    san diego? :rofl:
     
  25. Midgetized

    Midgetized Don't mess with Douche Cat

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    yeah, that's the best name ever for it :bowdown:
     

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