SRS Found out that my friends sisters BF is cheating... WTD?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by multiplexor, Mar 16, 2010.

  1. multiplexor

    multiplexor Intellectual

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2001
    Messages:
    5,038
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Montreal Quebec Canada
    I told her sister... Given I'm a computer programmer AND did not like this guy the minute I dropped in to say hello... I decided to see what his computer history looked like and found him on a dating website... Namely I found his profile setup...

    They've been together for 6 years now...

    What's the best way to tell her? My friend is thinking of waiting until her sister comes home in 3 weeks. I'm not sure if it's best to tell her over the phone, or?!??

    Her sister and the boyfriend live in Toronto... while my friend lives in montreal... About a 6 hour drive away....

    What would you do?

    should I be the one to tell the sister???

    Thanks guys!
     
  2. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2005
    Messages:
    5,738
    Likes Received:
    0
    People will say it's none of your business. I think cheaters should be exposed no matter by whom (The least of which is that they are terrible people but they also could give someone you know an STD) but the sister probably won't believe you or her sister. That's just how it usually goes and it causes more trouble than it's worth by telling the person. Maybe e-mail her a link to the dating profile.
     
  3. Teh Jebus

    Teh Jebus Active Member

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2004
    Messages:
    24,081
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Orange County, CA
    Save the profile in html form just in case he tries to delete it. Then expose him for the cheater he is. :o
     
  4. God of Thunder

    God of Thunder New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 6, 2004
    Messages:
    4,290
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Asgard
    how do you know he's a cheater???????? I am currently seeing a girl but I have profiles all over the place and I am just too lazy to delete them?
     
  5. 7960

    7960 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2004
    Messages:
    60,415
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    are you absolutely sure this profile is current?
     
  6. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2005
    Messages:
    5,738
    Likes Received:
    0
    No site keeps profiles that are inactive after 6 years.
     
  7. GregFarz78

    GregFarz78 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2002
    Messages:
    64,128
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Philly, PA
    are you trying to get with the friends sister?

    seems strange you go over someone else's house and hack into their computer
     
  8. MattThom01

    MattThom01 New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 2, 2006
    Messages:
    8,752
    Likes Received:
    0
    unless you are close friends with this friend of your sister, I don't see how it's any of your concern. Yes, cheating is bad, and yes, I don't care for cheaters...but still, it's not your business.

    Secondly...you say you don't like the guy, but here you are going through his computer. That's not exactly a great thing to do in my book.
     
  9. multiplexor

    multiplexor Intellectual

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2001
    Messages:
    5,038
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Montreal Quebec Canada
    True it's not good to be going through his computer. :-/

    I was going to toronto to drop in and see friends, however before going over, my friend was telling me how something felt odd about her sisters bf...

    So within 30 seconds of reading and profiling him, I told my friend he was cheating on his gf. It was practically obvious by body language and facial expressions.

    So I let it be... The next day I jump on facebook and while browsing it dawns on me that the day before while I was checking FB, he asked my friends sister when her computer will be fixed... thus I can infer that he's hiding something on this computer and doesn't want me to use it....

    All I do is check his history and notice that 3 months ago he created a zoosk account, along with a couple other profiles.

    Normally I wouldn't care, although this is my best friends sister who I feel should know... The only problem is how to tell her this...

    I do have his profile from zoosk... Though now it's trying to figure out if it's best to tell her in person, or over the phone, or by email... or...
     
  10. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2006
    Messages:
    8,533
    Likes Received:
    0
    You got nothing.

    I have profiles all over the web from my dating days. I disagree with the statement that no site keeps profiles for more then 6 years.
    These people want to keep profiles forever.

    You need to prove that one of them is currently active.

    Even then you might be about to prove that you are an unbelievable douche.
     
  11. 7960

    7960 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2004
    Messages:
    60,415
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    I feel he need for an AE on the dating site..........he should sign up as a girl and make a profile that matches this guy's perfectly, and see if "she" gets a call.

    :ugh:

    For helping his friend's sister?
     
  12. ldaggerl

    ldaggerl New Member

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2009
    Messages:
    924
    Likes Received:
    0
    Eh its pretty easy, if you go into your history its sorted by date. If its within those 6 years then he was on the site and has a profile. Its a sticky situation. I'd probably just show her what you found and tell her not to say anything about where she found it. I've had to work on peoples computers and well I go through them as well. You'd be surprised what you'll find. At my last job a guy had a nice stash of pron on his computer.
     
  13. GammaRadiation

    GammaRadiation Active Member

    Joined:
    Feb 15, 2007
    Messages:
    29,840
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Random Location.FL
    He searched the history to find it and they've been dating for 6 years.
     
  14. multiplexor

    multiplexor Intellectual

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2001
    Messages:
    5,038
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Montreal Quebec Canada
    Yeah they've been dating for 6 years... and his account is recent. You see the whole sign up process... I can understand having profiles on dating sites... but setting on up 6 years into a relationship is sketchy in my opinion...

    Oh.. and I found his flickr account with some pics of a naked chick in his room... how do i know it's his room? There's a picture of his name on the wall behind the girl...

    I would normally not give a shit about these situations... but This is my best sister so my loyalty is towards her and her sister.... Not this guy...

    He's also been searching let alone potentially meeting these girls... his schedule lately has been rather "erratic" from what my friends sisters been saying...
     
  15. 7960

    7960 New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 17, 2004
    Messages:
    60,415
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New England
    :bowrofl:

    you need to tell your friend and let him deal with his sister
     
  16. blackbirdbeatle

    blackbirdbeatle New Member

    Joined:
    May 21, 2005
    Messages:
    5,738
    Likes Received:
    0
    I know that many sites in Canada, where he is from, do this. I'm assuming that he found it on one of the bigger sites in Canada like plentyoffish, which deactivates profiles after a certain time of inactivity (They send you many e-mails before).

    Sites like Lavalife, okcupid, etc... list the last time they were active so I doubt it's ones like those because he could see the last time they were on.

    Oh, and the flickr seals it. Ctrl+P and bury the scumbag.
     
  17. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2006
    Messages:
    8,533
    Likes Received:
    0
    I meant for jumping to conclusions without proof.
    With what he has now if he went running to her I think he would look like a douche.

    Thing is...
    no matter how much proof he has, if his sister is all into the guy (or insecure and doesn't want to be alone) then it doesn't matter how much proof he has.
    She will ignore it, make excuses and put him on her 'douche' list.
     
  18. kingtoad

    kingtoad OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2003
    Messages:
    55,922
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    Incorrect.

    While some do, most keep your profile active to utilize your profile for SEO campaigns to generate new users. Most do not even allow you to delete your profile anymore because of this.
     
  19. multiplexor

    multiplexor Intellectual

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2001
    Messages:
    5,038
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Montreal Quebec Canada
    You are correct...

    The minute he walks into the house, she gets up from the couch and 1950's his ass... treats him with respect, and hugs him, asks if he's hungry.... she has little self confidence I think....

    Thing is... with the flickr proof and his profile on a dating site (Created recently) then normally that would get him kicked out... however in this case, she might turn a blind eye....

    Thus I'm wondering if the delivery of the message should wait until she comes back to montreal, then her sister can sit her down face to face in a friendly environment and tell her.
     
  20. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 12, 2006
    Messages:
    8,533
    Likes Received:
    0
    I had this friend...

    This chick was really insecure when it came to dating. She liked to date abusers.

    I used to ask her if she really couldn't see the large letter 'L' tattooed on the farhead of the people she dates. I would meet the guy walk away and just be like, 'Yeah I give the first black eye 6 months time'.

    One of the reason we are not friends is that I became tired of always having to be sympathetic to her. I mean, one beater - yeah I can understand that. Luck is what it is. Two beaters... in a row... ummm...
    Three beaters and maybe the problem is YOU.

    Anyways... I fix all my friends computers. Including hers.

    She gets on her computer one day and finds that this guy has been perusing [email protected] She finds his profile, she finds messages. The whole bit.

    She confronts him and he says, 'Stilgar must be logging into the computer remotely and surfing [email protected] from your computer. You know he can do it.'.

    So she confronts me.
    Mind you...
    at the time I was single, I lived alone and I had blazing fast broadband. I had no one to report to.

    I told her this. I was like, 'Woman you are NUTS. Why the fuck would I go through all the trouble to do that?'.

    She believed him.

    The moral to this story is that these chicks, they will believe what they want to believe. All the proof in the world is meaningless.

    You know, when I said you would look like a douche. I apologize. I didn't put it like I meant it.

    I meant if you go without proper proof then everyone would think you were a douche. If she was all into the guy and didn't want to believe you she would think you were a douche cause it is easier then dealing with the truth.
     
  21. CalicoJackie

    CalicoJackie New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2010
    Messages:
    2,638
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    SFV
    :bowdown: agreed. If you don't know the sister that well it could come off really creepy. Telling the brother is a way of letting her know and keeping your neck off the chopping block in case you are wrong.
     
  22. kingtoad

    kingtoad OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Sep 2, 2003
    Messages:
    55,922
    Likes Received:
    11
    Location:
    Los Angeles
    I'm going to laugh when you tell her and you find out they're both on sites and have been swinging for a while. :mamoru:
     
  23. Dnias

    Dnias New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 3, 2010
    Messages:
    39
    Likes Received:
    0
    Dude....just let it go. if you say something and even if it is true.....and he minpulates it...ur gonna look like the asshole. And if it is true...if it's none of your business then it's none of your business. You could have all the information you need. Unless you got a picture of this kid with a dick inside anouther girl. Well you aint got shit on him.
     
  24. Ichabod Crane

    Ichabod Crane Active Member

    Joined:
    Oct 25, 2001
    Messages:
    29,556
    Likes Received:
    1
    why do you care so much
     
  25. multiplexor

    multiplexor Intellectual

    Joined:
    Sep 12, 2001
    Messages:
    5,038
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Montreal Quebec Canada
    Mainly because i've known my friend for over 10 years... So I care enough that something should be done about the situation...

    The question really should be:

    Which method would be best to convey the message....
     

Share This Page