SRS Found out ex gf's was cheating during relationship with my best friend

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by wufei, Mar 14, 2008.

  1. wufei

    wufei New Member

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    It's pretty much as it says. I've posted here before about my previous problems with a different ex gf and all the trouble it led me into. I like to believe that for my age (19) I am decently mature. Ive been sent to juvenile hall for pursuing my ex gf to no ends, and stayed in mental hospitals earlier in my highschool days for OCD (which i am now off the medication for and have been feeling pretty good about for the past few months), and as of a couple weeks ago my parents moved me out to an apartment because now my younger brother has become increasingly violent and i've had to call the police on him several times already. So I like to believe to some degree i can deal with "shit".

    But this time i dont know. The feeling of betrayal just makes me feel so dead inside. I tried to force myself to cry, like really bawl it out to make myself feel better but it wouldnt happen. I'm not enraged or pissed off or screaming at all. I'm still dead numb and sad. I found out yesterday, and apparently they were fucking for a couple weeks while i was on vacation when she and i were having relationship problems. then she fucked her ex. then we got back together a little while after, tried to keep the relationship going for another month, it didnt work and now shes screwing a guy that my best friend and i both used to hang out with.

    I dont know what to do OT, just venting. :sadwavey:

    edit: oh he is sorry though. he's been my best bud since we were like 14, the rest of our group is made of our respective child hood friends.
     
    Last edited: Mar 14, 2008
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Don't talk to her or them.

    :hug:
     
  3. wufei

    wufei New Member

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    :wtc: :hug: thank you for responding
     
  4. althepirate

    althepirate Talk nerdy to me.

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    :hug: There's really not much to say about this. Obviously cut her completely out of your life. I'd imagine the situation with your friend is more complicated, seeing as how you've been friends for so long.

    Just remember...someone who is supposed to be one of your best buds doesn't go around fucking your girlfriend while you're on vacation - trouble between you and her, or no. I vote cutting them both out of your life, but that's just me.
     
  5. M.E.

    M.E. New Member

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    two words...double homicide.

    but hey i'm going to anger management, so take my advice with a grain of salt.
     
  6. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    not a single thing in this entire statement has given me the slightest inkling as to why you think you are mature for you age.

    can you explain why you are mature

    and why the hell would you call the cops on your own flesh and blood?


    oh and dont talk to them
     
  7. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    Not dealing isn't dealing. It sounds like you put high value on maturity over reality. The reality appears to be that you're having a tough time, over the larger picture, and it would be wise to admit that and be where you are, rather than attempt to be a master when you aren't.

    My advice would be to protect yoursel from people who betray you from this point onward. I would end the relationship with the girl and the friend. I respect myself too much to allow myself to suffer sleepless nights by letting people like that continue to stay in my life.

    You have to purge your life of dysfunctional people and losers. Get them all out of your life. It's better to be alone than in the company of failures.

    Hopefully this helps you. It's really unfortunate.

    It's easy to be sorry after he's gotten his cock wet inside your girlfriend (ex). Betray me once, forget it. I'm not one of those pushovers who accepts being hurt multiple times. It only takes once. A friend would never disrespect you like that. I hope you'll follow the same rule I do for your own sake. Just remember though, don't go to extremes by cutting everyone out of your life over "small" offenses." Keep your gaurd up and protect yourself but don't shut the door on the world in order to prevent yourself from getting hurt, because that's a waste of time too.

    Just make people prove themselves to you in the future, make them earn your trust and respect.
     
  8. wufei

    wufei New Member

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    they are two seperate statements, i'd like to believe my mature and the second one ties in with the fact that i'm not just out claiming this is the worst thing to ever happen to me. apologies if there's any confusion i should've probably left a spacing between the two of them but i was typing fast and not focusing enough.

    as for the maturity bit, dealing with all those situations, learning from my mistakes, and taking the experience from the adversity, i believe has helped me grow and understand certain perspectives that as it seems now i have a hard time to relating to others with similar age. perhaps i am so ridiculously immature and could just be on the other end of the spectrum kidding myself, but as it is i've been told my my bosses and teachers i have a good head on my shoulders and would like to believe them.

    i would call the cops on my own flesh and blood if he would attack and injure family members. i'd call the cops on anyone who would do that to my family.
     
    Last edited: Mar 15, 2008
  9. wufei

    wufei New Member

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    i'm definetly having a tough time theres no doubt to that i wholly admit it. i assume that these types of situations would bother most people regardless of where they are in life.

    not dealing, isn't dealing? i'm confused at this one, elaborate if you have time? thanks.
     
  10. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    or you could just do the same things (minus court costs) that the cops will do.... restrain him...
     
  11. wufei

    wufei New Member

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    I've already beat him up a few times during fights. it doesnt change anything, he needs to be removed from the house and kept locked down for a week or so each time. and my parents are tired of seeing their children knock each others face bloody. The good ol kick his ass and tell him to shut the fuck up and stay in his corner thing doesn't work here. That approach produces zero results.
     
  12. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    imho theres never a reason to call the cops on a family member (short of some extremely dangerous situations... like a gun/knife/kidnapping/etc)

    Its just lazy parenting if you do it to your child. And if you do it to your brother, well, thats not really being a brother now is it......
     
  13. wufei

    wufei New Member

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    If possible i'd disassociate him off my family tree and legal records. You can make presumptions about what a relationship should or shouldn't be with family members, but experience on this end would dictate otherwise. It's nice to be idealistic.

    I'm going to go out a limb and say then that you've never had to deal with such a situation, and are in a luckier position. Feel good about it because many people with dysfunctional family members are envious.
     
  14. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    actually i have....
     
  15. wufei

    wufei New Member

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    Then it either hasn't gotten bad enough, or you're approaching in a different way, one that most likely wouldn't fly for my family. You might call it shitty sibling hood but i don't have the time, resources, or concern enough for him to act in a way that would allow me to boast about it on a forum and criticize other's for their different approaches. So take it elsewhere.
     
  16. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    not having the time or concern for your own family? whatever man. you only get one brother.
     

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