Discussion in 'On Topic' started by k1ko, May 17, 2005.
What are some signs that let you know something wasn't right? Just curious...
He taught her to give AMAZING oral. Just over night... wow. Kinda took the edge off the anger, for a little while.
I guess thats not so bad then.......
He started playing the "blame game", trying to make me upset at him so I would break things off. That way his conscience wouldn't be eating him alive because he knows he fucked up the relationship.
He made a big deal out of every little thing I did wrong, and would try to be controlling. He used to always pick up the phone, then he stopped picking up/started taking longer to respond to voicemails. Little things like that...
first of all. (i was the cheater ) i stopped wanting sex from her. because it made me feel bad when we did it. then i started showing extra frustration and anger trying to push her away. and eventually i just broke it off.
it still makes me sad sometimes.
edit: ) =
1st sign, you're starting to wonder.
iss thee truuf.
I am not sure what signs I should've seen first. Maybe it was the blame game or him always thinking I was cheating on him.
I would always catch him in little stupid lies. Later to find out the little lies were trying to cover up the real cheating problem.
Anytime you have a doubt, you should follow your gut, because chances are, they are cheating. If there is alot of frustration and nager for no reason, and you are the cause of all that is wrong in the world.
If there is any doubt, there is no doubt. Follow it up.
I'm not advocating suspicion and mistrust in a relationship -- that too will kill off even a good relationship pretty quick.
Merely that you acknowledge your intuition and gut instincts.
If you are a child of abuse or incest or abandonment, etc. your instincts are way skewed (and you should be in therapy anyway) but for all people with a normal childhood and upbringing...trust your radar.
Some signs were the typical, staying over at "friends" houses later than expected (worked out of town), not being available by cell phone if calling (and not bothering) not returning calls till much later and an increase of arguments over little small things.
I find this happened to me and a lot of other friends of mine come the 2 year mark in the relationship. People get bored of each other and it happens a lot more than people really think that it does.
The best thing to do is talk about it. Not fight, talk.
damn pretty sad and scary at the same time that something you devote so much time and trust to can just fall apart so quickly. My girlfriend hasn't cheated on me but if she ever did, I think it would take a very long time for me to ever trust a girl in that position again.
cheaters often suspect their partner of cheating (the saying goes, the man who looks behind the bedroom door has hidden there himself)
also, they have less 'love' for their partner, because their attention is now divided between multiple partners
if you give us specifics as to what's making you doubt, we could make more accurate assesments
he got controlling, and wanted to know where i was/with/doing every second of the day. he was paranoid that i might cheet on him...bc he knew he was cheeting on me (and since he was so high an mighty....if he was cheeting, i must certainly be too...).
cheating* god dammit.
I dunno ... I was an ignorant kid, my boyfriend promised he had never cheated on me well after we broke up. I later found out that all those times he was over at my best friends house, who lives next to him and who I met him through, he had been messing around with her on me. I didn't think that would ever happen since she had a boyfriend too ... sometimes you just never know.
A few of my really close girl friends decided to hook up with my ex's after we broke up. I always thought there might have been something going on, and that kind of made me question it even more. It sucked, I basically had my heart broken twice. I felt betrayed by the boyfriend and by the friend.
1. They just want to be out all the time. 2. always picking fighting 3. There on the phone with. things like that would let you know something is going on.
you know, thats actually pretty close to it. Normally if you're the one having thoughts of cheating, not necessarily doing it, but thinking of it when you look at/meet other people. That's when you start having thoughts of your SO doing the same, when she doesn't even have the notion in her mind. I always go the innocent until proven guilty route, so that way I'm not the one giving off the mistrust vibe.
Sure I could get screwed in the end, but thats just a lesson to myself that that person obviously wasn't meant for me.
He was unusually sweet. He had a greater demand for sex. I thought this was a sign that we were moving towards something GREATER together, but this was not meant to be. He had also started grumbling about the time he had to take to visit me. We all have our complaints, but when someone starts to show resistance towards keeping up their end of getting to know you , then you have to question if his heart is really into you
The Second One
Was not very talkative of his family. He didn't really want me to meet his mother, which I found odd. He claimed it was because she was racist, but it turned out that she was just a sarcastic old woman with a mouth on her. The real reason was cause she might have said something about the sister and nephew he told me he was living with was REALLY his wife and son. When people are evasive about things you would thikn they would be open about and excited about to share with you, beware
THere are really no Solid signs of cheating. However, most of the time if you suspect something, or feel there is just something not right here, it never hurts to look into it, to find out whats really going on or just to calm your worries.
Some things you can look for:
Their Sex life changes
They feel "unplugged" from the relationship
Take phone conversations in the other room.
Excuses of not being togather ( working late, hanging out with friends etc ) on a more constant basis than before.
You best bet would not to be confront them up front about it with out anything to go on. I mean whan if she/he really wasn't you could have very well just hurt their feelings. Sit back act normal, and observe. They got a cell? Check their call records etc. If they text msg alot set their phone to save out going messages in the out box. Most women usually dont look into their phone that much and wont notice, check it every night and clear them out.
I speak from personal experience. However the be all end all of solving yor problems is to take anight go out with buds the same night she is .. but instead follow her see whats up .
Honestly all the things mentioned above is very under handed and I felt bad for doing them but when the truth came out I felt better. I actually confronted her with my fear off the bat and she got me twisted so much that I was doubting my own intuition, and it made me think there was something wrong with me. When in act she was cheating. Never thought it could happen to me, never thought she could go that low. However Human nature can blind side you.
It never hurts to look, if anything if she is not cheating it will cool your doubts and strengthen your your resolve in her to not do such things
wow... i'm still shocked about #2... man, that is horrible!