For those of you who stay friends with your ex's

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Kev07, Feb 17, 2010.

  1. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    care to share experiences?

    events leading up to the break up?

    were you friends before?

    what is your relationship with them like now?


    curious :dunno: most of the stuff posted here is about avoiding your ex but i know some of the vag can have a healthy relationship with their ex and i'd like to see what its like for you

    PS: falc, wheres the story to rule them all poll :bowdown:
     
  2. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I have numerous friendly relationships with ex boyfriends :dunno:

    However, these are all guys I had pretty mutual and drama-free breakups with. Also, it wasn't until after a little bit of time to reflect and move on that a true friendly relationship was achieved.

    You're not gonna have a friendly relationship with your ex. You're not over her.
     
  3. lildevildee

    lildevildee New Member

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    Trying to have one with my ex-husband. We're still fresh in the breakup though; I don't know what will end up happening.

    We're doing okay right now; in the beginning, it was hard.
     
  4. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Out.

    The only "ex" (term used loosely) that I still sort of talk to ("sort of" meaning less than 3 times per year) is one girl with whom I wasn't even very serious, thus it's not really too weird to talk to her, even tho I still don't.
     
  5. Diesel66

    Diesel66 My standards for women is like rent-a-centers stan OT Supporter

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    I broke up with her, saw no long term possibilty.
    Still really love talking/IMing her. We get along great. Occasionally get together but she has a bf now and is a little afraid that we'd screw around just because it's so normal.
     
  6. Kev07

    Kev07 New Member

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    lildevildee: how fresh?


    diesel: can you elaborate a bit more
     
  7. lildevildee

    lildevildee New Member

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    I knew for a fact I was done in September 09. Quit having sex in November. He finally got it in December even though I had been telling him I was done. He moved out in late January.
     
  8. ww_Crimson

    ww_Crimson New Member

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    dated 4 months, she was caught up on her ex and too immature for me, also didn't want to have sex.

    We broke up

    Still see each other occasionally at parties of mutual friends and thats about it. We're friendly but neither of us go out of our way to talk to or see each other.
     
  9. Kyoko

    Kyoko New Member

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    The only ex I'm friends with is with a guy I dated briefly in high school 5 or 6 years ago. Broke up because I was a virgin and wasn't ready to lose it to him.

    We've stayed good friends over the years but there was a period where we didn't have much to do with each other because he was starting to have feelings for me, which I didn't return. It was all misguided though. He eventually got over himself and we're good friends again. He made friends with my current boyfriend and everything's dandy.
     
  10. Vysion

    Vysion New Member

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    Can you give more details on why you enjoy talking with her, and feel that you get along great yet you saw no long term possibility with her?
     
  11. just_another_on

    just_another_on New Member

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    I am friends w/ a few ex's, its funny, I talk less to girls I was just FB's with than I do with ex's.

    My 'first' LTR was Marisa, her and I were 16 when we started dated and broke up right before I was 20. We had a hard break up, but thats to be expected with young and first LTR's in general I guess. We didnt speak for about a year after breaking up, then she started smoking pot and her friends were buying stuff off of me.

    Ended up her buying stuff off me, then we started being 'friends' that way. No negativity, no hostility, kept our distances, never really 'hung out' with each other after the break up aside from a couple :420: sessions. We still talk every so often when she IM's me or calls me.
     
  12. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    I think 'healhy relationship with an ex' is an oxymoron.

    I used to stay friends with all my exs. I thought it was a good thing when I was doing it. Then I decided try not staying friends with my exs and was amazed at how much simpler my life became. Never went back.
     
  13. poormanq45

    poormanq45 OT Supporter

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    I am still friends with an EX after ~6 years. The conditions were she was going in to the Navy. So it was mutual, no feelings hurt.

    I am going to her wedding with my current LTR in September.
     
  14. LudaMan

    LudaMan Active Member

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    The only 2 exes I'm friends with are ones who I dated in high school and didn't really give a shit about.

    I tried to be friends with a more serious ex a couple years ago, but old feelings started to emerge, so I had to keep my distance again.
     
  15. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Going to a wedding of someone you've fucked = :mamoru:

    Although I have not done that, I have:

    - Been to the wedding of someone I've made out with :mamoru2:

    - Been to a wedding where an ex from years ago and her husband were also guests (her husband hates me for some reason even tho I've never actually "met" him), hilarity ensued
     
  16. Amanda Ann

    Amanda Ann New Member

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    screw that noise



    i've only once gotten back with an ex, too - last year :hs:


    i like to keep ex's in the past, where they belong
     
  17. vodkacollins

    vodkacollins New Member

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    i was friends with ex's who i broke up with and they still had feelings for me, friends with ex's who broke up with me and i still had feelings for them, and friends with ex's who the break up was mutual cause the relationship basically fizzled and neither of us had feelings for the other anymore.

    once i started dating my husband, i pretty much stopped being friends with all of them. just realized there was no need. i wish them well, but have no desire to maintain a friendship. facebook has brought some of the less significant relationships back into my life, but its purely an online "hey, how are you? hope you are great!" type thing
     
  18. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    :werd:
     
  19. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    Same
     
  20. lildevildee

    lildevildee New Member

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    The reason I need to stay friends with the ex is because we have 3 young children together.
     
  21. jackjohnson

    jackjohnson simple as something nobody knows OT Supporter

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    very hard to do. It takes a lot of time. After the break up spend a long time away from her.

    I'm friends with one of my ex's basically because we live in a small town and have the same circle of friends. At first it was downright torture. I never hang out with her alone, only when other friends are there. It's more like we are acquaintances now. I believe that life is too short to hold grudges/write people off/etc especially if they are you're friends. At the same time you have to find a balance where you're not getting tortured and keep the drama to the minimum.
     
  22. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    I don't stay friends with any of my exes.
    I don't see the point. How self important of you :rofl:

    My husband used to stay friends with his ex until I asked him why and he couldn't give me an answer. So after a few years he stopped going out to coffee and now not even an email is shared.

    I think people who stay friends with their ex have issues with people having to like them.
     
  23. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :hsugh: You've never contemplated being friends with an ex that you genuinely liked as a friend? As a person? That's pretty sad, you must have had some horrible breakups.

    You checking your husbands emails?
     
  24. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    The longest relationship I had before my husband was 6months, maybe stretched to 8 months. It ended due to domestic violence. However due to the nature of that relationship he was actively in my life for around 7 years. All the other relationships I had before then were no more than a month long and just having teenage fun. All the people I liked as a friend stayed friends. My ex wasn't someone I should have dated and I don't think staying friends with him would have accomplished any thing. If you break up with someone I don't understand why you would stay friends with them. If you didn't fight hard enough to make it work, or you didn't care enough to make it work they obviously weren't that important. If they aren't that important I don't see why you would keep them around, especially if you plan on getting new partners. It's not like there is a lack of people in the world.
    The reason I know my husband's ex doesn't email him is because he tells me :eek3:
     
  25. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Ok....so it makes perfect sense to me why you wouldn't be friends with the 1 real boyfriend you had....I would never stay friends with an abusive ex bf either....but why the fuck would you assume anyone else who stays friends with an ex is self important???? :coolugh: Is it really that hard for you to contemplate say being friends with a guy, dating him for a year, having a breakup based on non-threatening issues, and then staying friends because you genuinely enjoy their personality, their company? This is blowing my mind right now.

    So you ask him then? Or he randomly says "I haven't emailed my ex this month?"
     

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