LGBT Flaky friend makes a triumphant return...

Discussion in 'Lifestyle' started by marxwa99, Aug 1, 2004.

  1. marxwa99

    marxwa99 Boom Squad

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    Okay, i know i'm all about teh drama tonight, but i thought maybe here i can get some anonymous feedback that would make my infuriation lighten up knowin i could freely express myself on here. So before i start, i would like to say thanks for having an open ear :)

    I'm the type of person that likes to hear from my friends. I understand if they get busy or tied up in things, but so do i. And i still make an effort to call or write and say hello because i consider myself to be very loyal.

    I often consider myself to be like a chow. I'm an ill tempered bitch but when i meet someone new, i display curiousity despite my outright bitchy demeanor. Over time, i gain their trust and soon become the most loyal friend they can have. However, if they fuck me over, i bite their hand off so to speak and get rather tempermental and the bitch comes out again :)

    So anyways, I have this friend who i've been trying to help meet some gay people. He's a lonely guy and i felt bad so i kept inviting him out to do stuff and to come to pride with me and my friends. However, he has not done any of this. The final straw came when i invited him to go on a gay camping trip with 2 other friends of mine. He said he'd call me back monday to let me know. That was over 5 weeks ago.

    Today is the first day i have heard back from him and really i dont know what to think and i really demonstrated my "chow traits" rather well by goin off on him. For the last month, he just dropped off the face of the earth. I didnt hear from him, he didnt return my calls and i gave up thinkin sooner or later i'd hear from him, and that led me to constantly bitch to friends about wondering where he was. Soon enough i grew sorta accepting that our friendship just was naturally coming to a close and i sorta moved on (sorta because i did still tell my friends i dont know what happened to him). Frankly, i was sorta hurt that he couldn't even let me, whom he has considered to be one of his best friends, know that he was okay.

    He told me his grandmother was sick and that he had to fly back to florida to see her. And that's really where i was put into a conflict. I understand his family is his first priority but still, when this has happened before, he did return my call or send me a quick call and just let me know what was up. I guess this time, with it being a longer time away and not having heard from him, i sorta just gave up.

    So now my friend is im'ing me and after i explained all this to him, he simply says, "well im back, wanna hang out sometime" and it totally came off imo as really indifferent to how i was feeling. I'm sorta at a loss for what to say. Should I feel like i should let him back in even though he seemed to just completely flake out on me time and time again? Or am i just being too harsh and ignorant to his family situation? Do i have reason?

    I guess any advice will do. And like i said, its late and because the night belongs to drama (lovers my ass...), i thought there would be nowhere better to bitch/inquire advice then on OT.

    I LOVE YOU ALL!!! (P.S. I'm not drunk, i'm just in this weird funk. I know sometimes i totally portray myself as this in-your-face, smartass, upfront, bitchy, brutally honest skank/slut/hoe/whore/whatever, but family, friendship, and faith are the three biggest things to me more than any material object here on earth. I suppose that's why i feel so affected by this all) :)
     
    Last edited: Aug 1, 2004
  2. ExDelayed

    ExDelayed New Member

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    I know where you are coming from with how you describe yourself and your friendships. I think of it more of a circle of friends, the people you know little, co-workers, etc are on the outermost part of the circle. Then comes good friends, and closest to you are your family/best friend/lover. If I give someone my trust, and they get close to me and then fuck me over, they are out. All bets are off and chances are, I will never let them get really close to me again. If I see them I'll say hi, but I wont go out of my way to find them.

    How would I treat the situation with your friend? If it were me, I would extend an invitation to go do something, only occasionally, but I wouldnt go out of my way to try to make him come. Hes the one who flakes out on your plans for whatever reason. If he really wants to do something (that camping trip sounds fun, BTW :) ) he will will *MAKE* time to go with you.

    Its almost as if he has you on that outer circle of friends and you have him much closer. You could always try treating him the way he treats you. If he is as close to you as he claims, he will notice you being more distant and indifferent to him and he will ask why (or go out of his way to spend more time with you).

    I have a couple friends like this one. I held one extremely close to me and he fucked me over. I got my revenge (picture the chow pissing on his pillow ;) ) by having his truck towed, legally of course. He still doesnt know it was me, nor does he know that the guy whom he owed quite a bit of money to didnt just find his house by accident. Those made me feel better. Now, if I see him, I see him, if I dont I dont. Its been about three weeks since he has called, I give him about another week before he checks in again. The other friend stabbed me in the back by buying the axles I was going to put under my truck (this was a few years ago). I showed him the donor truck, telling him I was going to go buy them within the week. The next day he showed me the reciept. To make it worse, he turned around and sold them for six times the price I was going to buy them for. :squint: I made it to eleven months before he called me. :o

    Drama, especially from straight guys, sucks.
     
  3. coma

    coma New Member

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    Gay camping trip...they have those things? LOL (Where do I sign up?:greddy2: ) Is he a virgin? Sounds like that trip was too close for comfort (the possibility of gay sex) and maybe that spooked him.
     
  4. marxwa99

    marxwa99 Boom Squad

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    gay campin trip as in me and some friends who are all gay. Nothin more, nothing less :). There would not have been any gay sex. The trip would be on ocean shores, an area i love goin to just for the fact that you can walk on miles of beach in each direction and just really be at peace. I wanted my friends to experience piece of what i call heaven :). No, he ain't a virgin. He's rather closeted but he wants me to help him meet people. :ugh:

    All in all, i slept on it and woke up a happier man. He can go on with his life, i can go on with mine. If i see him, i'll be nice and friendly and suggest him comin out with my friends sometime, but i really am not gonna have too many expectations when it comes to him.
     
  5. ExDelayed

    ExDelayed New Member

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    Good plan. :hs:

    No reason stressing if he doesnt want to do anything.
     
  6. ExDelayed

    ExDelayed New Member

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    Hows that for knowing your friends. He called me yesterday. :wiggle:
     
  7. CoCo

    CoCo ...is a Queer Don!! OT Supporter

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    ...sounds kinky.
     

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