SRS First Time

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by KDSVS, Sep 19, 2006.

  1. KDSVS

    KDSVS New Member

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    I just got into a relationship with a girl I knew that liked me a looooong time ago. Anyways this is both of our first relationships (she's 21, I'm 22...kinda late but oh well). She is out of state currently for work but will be moving back next year. Anyways I'll be seeing her for a weekend next month and I'm sure that we will probably have sex.....we've been talking about it and both of us are ready (both virgins).

    Anyways what should I expect? Precautions to take? I know I need to bring condoms...what else..lube? Will this make it less painful for her? I have fingered her before and she is pretty tight down there....just my middle finger had no time giving her a great time so even though I'm not huge down there it is many times the size of one finger and I don't want to hurt her.

    Also what precautions about having sex in the shower or bathtub? She already said she has a fantasy of doing it in the bathtub so I want to be as safe as possible.

    She has already told me she might bleed just to warn me beforehand but usually isn't the hymen that bleeds when it breaks? Is it possible to finger a girls gspot without breaking the hymen if it was there? Also she seemed to respond more to the gspot than the clit...is this normal?

    Anyways lots of questions I know...whatever you guys have I'd appreciate.. Thanks:bigthumb:
     
  2. KDSVS

    KDSVS New Member

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    BTW we will have our own room so privacy won't be an issue.:bigthumb:
     
  3. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Might want to hop over to the Vaginarium as this is a little less serious than the usual fare in the Asylum. You'll probably get a quicker response.

    That said, I'd recommend staying away from the shower/bath for your first time and stick with the basics. You may find that the distraction of having to deal with the shower (slippery and can be difficult to maneuver and find good positions) takes your edge away, and it's not really conducive to comfort as much as kink. For the first time (and for her especially) I'd recommend comfort. Water is not a lubricant and will wash away her/your natural fluids, forcing you to compensate with bottled stuff (and on that note, get Astroglide; better than most IMO). As well, if you do decide to try the bath later, be aware that the action can drive water into her which is dangerous as well as uncomfortable. In any case, follow her cues and take things slowly.

    She should also visit a doctor and look into getting on the pill or another method of birth control for use in addition to condoms. No method is the end-all, be-all, and condoms do fail. There may also be a chance that she's allergic to latex or spermicide, so a backup method is always recommended - especially if you're paranoid about getting pregnant.

    As far as the rest goes, well... insert tab A into slot B. Lol! She likely won't have enough natural lube the first time (or first few times) unless she's practiced at stimulating herself to orgasm, so keep the bottle handy - another reason why you won't want to go for the shower the first time. She also likely won't be able to get off from purely vaginal stimulation (ie. the pumping action and nothing else won't work for her) and this is to be expected. Ask her for direction on stimulating her clitoris - having her on top and grinding will also put some life into the party. After that it's all about exploration. Everyone has hot spots - nipples, thighs, feet, wherever - and it's up to you to figure out where those are. :coold:
     
  4. dano

    dano OT Supporter

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    Expect to last about 30 seconds if that. There's a few guys out there who didn't bust a but almost instantly their first time, but almost everyone I know fell into that norm.
     
  5. KDSVS

    KDSVS New Member

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    Good deal...maybe better just to do the making out thing while in the water.

    Anyways I already know she is REALLY tight down there....even after getting her aroused last time 2 fingers was pushing it as far as her comfort level so I'm sure once I stick my penis in there it will be really uncomfortable for her. So I guess I'm saying I'm probably not going to be really thrusting hard at her since I don't want to hurt her. Isn't the thrusting action what might break the condom?

    Anyways I will talk to her and see about what contraception methods she has in mind. Thanks:bigthumb:

    She also said he is uncomfortable with oral sex but hopfully I can change that and get a little :p She is a shy one though...I ended up just grabbing her hand and putting it down my pants before she felt comfortable grabbing me.
     
  6. OoOlAlA

    OoOlAlA New Member

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    Just make sure to go slow, and ask if she is okay. When I lost my virginity he wasnt big down their either but it still was an uncomfortable feeling. I hope she knows that its not going to be good for a couple of times. And I wouldnt speed up the pace unless she gives you the ok. It will take her a little while to get use to the feeling. Its like an achy feeling in your stomach if I remember correctly. But I am glad he asked me if I was ok, at least she will know your thinking about whats best for her. Hopefully she does get more confortable with oral, I think it will be easier on her this way, so she get fully aroused and wet enough for ya. Make sure there is enough lube though, having it shoved/forced in there is no fun. Even if she doesnt let you go down on her maybe just kiss her down there, maybe she will be more comfortable. If you put her hand down your pants and she pulls her hand back fast or away from you like she doesnt want to touch it, maybe she should rethink losing her virginity.
     
  7. KDSVS

    KDSVS New Member

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    No she was just hesitant to grab it first....once I aided her she had no problem grabbing and massaging...I didn't hold her there either she did it. She even stuck her hand down my pants a different occasion and I've talked to her about it...she definitely wants it.

    I'll take it slow with her...thanks for the advice.
     
  8. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    That's one of them - but it could also be a lack of adequate lube, a condom that is the wrong size for your penis, failure to leave space at the end for your load, using a condom that is past its expiry date or that has been exposed to excessive temperatures... there are a number of things that can contribute. I'd recommend putting a tiny amount of lube in the end on the inside - it will help create sensitivity for you because condoms can be desensitizing, and perhaps will reduce the chances of breakage from friction on the inside. Make sure you get a jimmy hat that fits you properly (and put it on properly, of course), leave space in the end (without air!) for your load, and do not, I repeat DO NOT keep it in your wallet beforehand or put it somewhere else where it will be subjected to temperature/pressure extremes. At the bedside table is the best place for them, when possible. You may also want to experiment with different brands to see what works best for you. And, don't use it more than once, no matter whether you orgasm or not. That's an almost sure-fire way to make it break.

    There are plenty of good sites out there that will educate you as to how the various methods of birth control work - it's in the best interests of both you and your girlfriend to educate yourselves on their uses and the symptoms of possible problems so that you know what to do/not to and what to look out for. Of course, talking to a doctor is a good idea for the final word, especially for your girlfriend since a lot of the BC methods are geared for women. In this case it's most certainly desireable to be over-educated and over-protected as the consequences for this lack are dire (STDs and pregnancy).

    I didn't like that much at first either, but I got over it with time. Give it time, ask for her feedback and expand on what works. Part of it might be that she's not really doing anything while you're providing the service... in that case, suggest a little :69: :naughty:
     
  9. KDSVS

    KDSVS New Member

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    Thanks for the feedback. I'll actually be going out of town to meet with her so would it be better to wait and buy condoms there since it sounds like they are so sensitive to everything? Or is it something that would be OK to be stored in my bag in a safe spot? It won't be in my wallet that is for sure. :)

    I'm only concerned with contraception protection...STDs aren't an issue...we're both clean and have never done anything with anyone else. I'm not all that familiar with birth control pills but I thought I remembered something about the woman had to be on them for a month or so before they were effective. Is this true? Thanks
     
  10. Stilgar1973

    Stilgar1973 New Member

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    I can't imagine a more awkward thing then 2 virgins getting it on.
    That is going to be some Laurel and Hardy shit right there.
    You might think I am being callous, insensitive or mean. But trust me, 5 years down the road you are gonna look back on it and be all like, 'That Stilgar dude, he the man. He saw that shit like Nostradamus'.

    Seriously though. Don't expect too much. To this day my worst sexual experience was my first time.
    When I hear of these people talking about wanting there first time to be special I cringe. The first time is gonna be awkward. If you want special - that is gonna be at least 3 of 5 times down the line. The first time neither of you are gonna have a clue. In all likleyhood you are gonna blow your load about 30 seconds into it. Not your fault, just your body is gonna get so worked up and then ... el'BLAMMO!

    My advice?
    Get it over with.

    Special is good. Special is really good. But that comes a tad bit later.
    Focus on condoms and birth control. You will need some practice.
     
  11. teo

    teo . => ? => !

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    Where/when you get the condoms is up to you - just keep them in mind when you're packing, and if you know that your bags will be sitting in a trunk in 100+deg weather then don't pack them there or purchase them later.

    With the birth control questions you'd best consult a doctor. It may vary depending on type of pill (ie. chemical composition) as well as the physiology of the woman taking them. Misinforming you on this particular topic is something I want to avoid at all costs.
     

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