First post in the Vag' . . . S/O Probs (Extremely LONG)

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Nsane1, Dec 31, 2007.

  1. Nsane1

    Nsane1 New Member

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    I posted this here because I seek the advice of the Vag', I've always respected the outlook the Vag' provides . . . I'm not totally sure this belongs in The Asylum. :)

    Anyways, here is some background. . . I know it's extremely difficult to give advice without knowing some history.

    - (Jul 05 -Dec 05) Had crush on girl/good friend at work
    - (Jan 06) Girl became single (as well as myself) and I asked girl out*
    - (Jan 06 - Feb 06) Went out on several dates before intimacy/sex was involved
    - (Feb 06) After several dates we decided to be intimate
    - (Mar 06) After being intimate several times - we decided to be exclusive**
    - (Late Mar 06) We move in together
    - (Mar 06 - Dec 06) During the beginning of our exclusive relationship, intimacy/affection was abundant.
    - (Dec 06) After some time (6-8 months +/-) intimacy/affection starts to slacks off - way off.
    - (Jan 07-Present) Been a rollercoaster ride regarding sex/intimacy/affection - meaning we fought about it, argued about it even considered ending the relationship

    * As stated, she had became single. I was in a relationship myself, but not deeply involved. She was engaged, but had been extremely unhappy for quite some time. As things ended with her fiance, I came into the picture. Most will say she was on the rebound, but since she was so unhappy for so long, it more of a blessing than anything. Also as stated, she and I were good friends at work so we talked about alot of personal things and helped each other through situations etc. . .

    ** I was still "seeing" someone at this time - basically a FWB. However I wanted to make a commitment to my current SO. At this point in time, I felt needed to make a decision (for myself, and for both of them, but neither forced me to make a decision). Anyways, I sat them both down (individually) and explained how I felt, and why I made the decision to be exclusive to my current SO. The girl I decided to call things off with, was extremely cool and supportive of my decision. Eventhough she had feelings for me, she didn't want an exclusive relationship anyways. She wanted to remain friends, this will later come to haunt me. (See #7 later in the thread)

    Things that (she) led to the change in intimacy levels. (which were brought up in discussions/arguments/fights) These are in some sort of order, but not really.

    #1 - Stress
    She states that if she's stressed, she feels that's she not in the mood to be sexual/intimate or show affection for fear of it leading to sexual/intimate actions. Her stress is derived from everything known to man. True story. The Drive home from work stresses her out. Work stresses her out. School stresses her out. Finances stresses her out. Seriously, alot of shit stresses her out.

    #2 - Juggling School/Work/Chores
    She is (was - graduated this Dec.) part time student and works full time. Juggling homework, house chores and stress associated with work ultimately leads to her being stressed out. Please see #1. Also, all of these things were within her life before she and I decided to be exclusive.

    #3 - Birth Control
    Claims BC was the cause for her being "not in the mood". She claims it altered her hormone level(s). She came off it, but no change in the situation resulted from it.

    #4 - Prescription Drugs
    I did some research and read that her prescription anti-depressant has been known to alter people's libido. She tried several additional supplements as well as started cutting her pills in half. Again, not much change resulted from our efforts.

    #5 - Discovery of Porn
    She found out that I like to view porn on the internet. Pornography repulses her immensely. I resorted to porn as an avenue of release since intimacy within our relationship had slacked off. Her discovering that I view/watch porn degraded me as a person she says. It associates with me with the "all the rest of typical males". However, we all know I haven't stopped looking at porn, but I have tried to look at it less, as well as, cover my tracks (cookies/history etc.) I tried to explain myself and desire to view porn as merely a release/alternative, but she's so closed minded about it, it's no use.

    #6 Peer Pressure/"Nagging"
    I've been told that when I ask her about it, it turns her completely off. She refers to it as "nagging her about it". I can understand that, sex should be consensual for both parties, one should never have to literally ask for it. BUT, it came to the point where I'd rather ask her for it and be told "no", than get horny and try attempt to make a physical move and get rejected. I'd rather be told a simple "no" than get all in-the-mood and get rejected. She's also brought to my attention that I make smart-ass/sly comments referring to sex or lack there of. It's also been brought to my attention that my flirty/perverted personality annoys her sometimes, which also turns her off. I'm sort of confused by these statements, because I have been this way since day one of our relationship. BUT, I've tried to change my ways a bit, but it's extremely hard to compromise "who you are". I am trying my best to be less verbally "abusive" about sex. I've also been told I don't "try" that often, meaning I don't try to intiate sex or try to get her turned on. This leads back to me getting rejected, so I save myself the rejection. I was accused of not being romantic enough, but I remembered my romanticisms and flirtyness annoyed her.

    #7 - Talking to an old Friend
    During early part of 07, I began talking to the old friend/FWB/"Ex." She had initially seeked advice from me regarding some situations in her life. As things started changing with my current SO, I tried talking to my SO to see what the culprit is/was. Our discussions usually led to fights/arguments - utimately no where. Since this door with the "ex" was now open, I turned to this "ex" for advice. We talked through text/emails. We never met up in person. All that to say, my current SO discovered I was communicating with her and she wasn't happy about it, at all. We discussed/talked/fought about my communicating with her, and I opted to end all communcation with the "ex", and I did so. I recently (few weeks ago) found out, this "took a big piece" of my current SO. She blamed all those things mentioned above (which I believe are culprits too) and then recently brought this up. We hadn't spoken of this since the time it happened, not even a hint. Whenever she mentionen it, it was like she just kinda tossed it out there. It wasn't like we were deep argument and she blurted it out there like some huge burden had been lifted from her when she mentioned it. I think she just wanted to throw it my face. Lastly, the problem(s) existed before I even started speaking to the "ex". . .

    #8 - Herself
    Another thing is, that usually at the end of all our conversations or arguments, she ultimately puts the blame on herself. Stating the problem lies within her, but doesn't know what to do to fix it or what I can do to assist in fixing it.

    Anyways, there's the list. :hs:

    Lastly, and most importantly, is how all of this has made me feel. I feel useless, and unwanted. Other aspects of our relationship seem to be alright. We have a good time together. We enjoy the same activities. Our goals in life are very much similar. Sometimes I just feel like I am a complete whack-job, for putting so much emphasis on intimacy and sex, but it's something I enjoy, and it makes me happy. I don't think I want anything extreme, I think a good sex life is very important to a relationship's success. Another thing that confuses me, is sex is very satisfying and pleasurable to her (when we have it). I can tell she puts her guard up - meaning she's afraid to be affectionate. I think she fears that if we hug for longer than 5 seconds or exchange a passionate kiss it means we have to go into the bedroom. She's admitting to feeling this way, and can't explain why. I sometimes feel that affection and intimacy are viewed (to her) as a pile of dirty dishes that she has to do. Jeezus, I better stop before I ramble to no end.

    As stated, I seek the advice of anyone who's experienced this. I also appreciate any (positive) advice anyone wants to offer. I was nearing my wick's end, but as of late, things seem to be looking up. I'm not certain we're not just on one of the "ups" of this rollercoaster. I mentioned the ghost of an ex, I'm not totally certain she's over that. If can't get over that, this relationship will never work.

    I know you're gonna ask, what do I want? I want things to return to way things were in the beginning stages of our relationship. I feel the relationship is salvagable, I'm just sick of arguing about the same ol shit. IF the problem truely lies within her, I wish I knew what do to do fix it. I'm sick of feeling this way. I know without any doubt she loves me, and I truely love her. However, I will not live my life feeling this way. Sometimes I wish I didn't love her so much, it would make leaving would so much easier to do.

    Cliffs: Woman troubles - Will my relationship survive.

    Thanks to all those who took the time to read this in it's entirity. I know it was long as hell.
     
  2. antihero

    antihero OT Supporter

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    I hate to give such a standard answer to such a well written and detailed post, but there really isnt any saving this relationship unless she is prepared to do whatever she has to to return to being a healthy adult female who is attracted to you.

    you are not asking for anything that she shouldnt be giving you willingly. She is either wrong in the body or the mind. Get her to an endocrinologist and check her hormone levels and other health factors. try switching to another medication if possible.

    if that doesnt work she could try professional mental help.

    If shes not willing to take these sorts of measures to correct whats wrong with her, then the simple answer is the problem is that she is not that attracted to you.
     
  3. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    - (Mar 06) After being intimate several times - we decided to be exclusive**
    - (Late Mar 06) We move in together

    epic fail.

    thats all there is to it

    dont move in so soon, would you reallky want to date someone who is even willing to do that with you before you know each other at all?
     
  4. demosnat

    demosnat New Member

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    Never happens :hs: People become used to treating each other a certain way and its really hard to get out of that habit. Also, you've giver her complete control in the relationship, and no reason to relinquish it.
    There's a chance that you can somehow find a new way to make things work, but you can't go home again, so to speak.
    I really wish you the best of luck.
     
  5. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    I was accused of not being romantic enough, but I remembered my romanticisms and flirtyness annoyed her.


    well you moved in after knowing each other 3 months, what the fuck does she expect. abort.


    During early part of 07, I began talking to the old friend/FWB/"Ex

    you shouldnt do that. you may say to us that you dont want sex. but the fact that you are pursuing a convo with her at all does say that you are thinking about it and leaving it open



    Another thing is, that usually at the end of all our conversations or arguments, she ultimately puts the blame on herself. Stating the problem lies within her, but doesn't know what to do to fix it or what I can do to assist in fixing it.

    just dump her, and let her fix it

    I want things to return to way things were in the beginning stages of our relationship.

    they never do this because now you know each other, before you did not.
     
  6. Nsane1

    Nsane1 New Member

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    No worries, I did put alot of thought into it! I'm just lost as to what really changed. I'm not ruling out the fact that I communicated with an ex, but as I mentioned, she never brought it up or dwelled on it. However, something has changed. She is not the same person I fell in love with. I know she's capable of being affectionate. She showers her nephew with kisses, and treats our dog the same way. Me? Not so much. I didn't think I require more attention than any other normal person.

    She had her gyno send her blood work to a lab, and the results reflected her to be within the norm. Her gyno prescribed her anti-depressant, and I am extremely confused why a gyno presribed it. Anyways, she's completely off the meds - I forgot to add that in my post. Has been for many months now. Again, no change.

    This sounds irrational and completely stupid, but I'm not totally certain I believe in professional help in this instance. If this isn't something we can work through together, and alone, I feel the entire thing is not meant to be. Now if she was bat-shit crazy and slit her wrists or had a drug addiction I feel differently. I've honestly suggested professional help (as a last avenue, I'm all out of suggestions other than focus on what's been discussed previously). We're both closed minded about and in agreement that professional help isn't something we want to look in to, yet.

    Well, as of recently, we both promised each other to try and as communicative as possible. I was blind-sided when she said some of my character traits "annoyed" her . . ? I think it was excuse to exempt her from the blame. It's funny you mentioned she isn't attracted to me, I've mentioned this numerous times. She assures me that it is not the case. BUT, honestly, we've both put one a pound or two since settling down with each other. She's become unhappy with her appearance and self conscience about it, but I've done everything I can to assure her she's still hot-stuff, to me. However my attraction to her hasn't changed. She still makes my blood flow. I'm probably not as pleasing to the eyes as I used to be, but I am still somewhat happy with my appearance.
     
  7. Nsane1

    Nsane1 New Member

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    I usually agree with that statement totally, but it felt right to move in with her. The actual "moving in" and living together isn't the problem here. Our grooming habits are the same, as well as, our house-keeping habits. Aside from "moving in so soon" we knew each other for almost two years before deciding to look into an intimate/exclusive relationship.

    That's typically the case, but we've all read of instances where folks have lived through and been through alot worse. Please elaborate as to why you think she's got complete control. If she had complete "control", I wouldn't have made the thread. :) I appreciate the well wishes!

    Correction, we moved in together after being exclusive and intimate. We've known each other for almost two years before initially having special interests in each other.

    I completely agree. I realize it was a mistake. As stated, I've since cut off any and all communication with this person. I wasn't exactly pursuing her convo, it was the other way around. But, since that door was opened, I used it as a resource. I will openly admit, I thought about her sexually. But, thinking and doing are two totally different things. I am a human.

    Noted. Thank you for your opinion.

    Again, I knew her way longer than just a few months. Only exclusive/intimate for a few months. That's everything felt so right. We truely knew each other, and thought we would great on a more than friends level.

    Seriously though. Thanks for reading and offering your advice. :)
     
  8. lauren

    lauren Active Member

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    sounds like you were just a rebound to her, and once the infatuation wore off, things started to fall apart. :dunno:
     
  9. kiri

    kiri New Member

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    you two are not compatible, period.
     
  10. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    dude. you knew each other less than a year. you had been dating for about 2 months when you moved intogether.

    crush != dating/knowing someone last i checked.
     
  11. fray

    fray New Member

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    Been there, and in my case it meant relationship over.

    I couldn't tell you what the problem was...I think it was many things, but the result was pretty much what you described. I used to feel like any little thing would lead to sex. Partially I think because in that case, the guy wanted sex and was so deprived, that he would try to turn any little thing into sex! By the time I told him, I had already noticed the pattern and responded as such even if that's not how it was anymore.

    I don't know what changed that made sex a turnoff, I think in my case it was an incompatibility and that the relationship was over, but we hadn't ended it, or hadn't hit that final "here's why we should break up" moment. Especially because we were pretty good friends. We were people who probably should've just stayed friends.

    I think you moved in too quick. Who cares if your personal habits are the same. Not the point. The point is feeling like you have space, like the place is your own. Like you're still your own person and independent even though you're now very much merged with someone else. Perhaps she's lost some of this feeling.

    Also, in case it wasn't answered since you posed it above - gynos will often act a primary care doctor since that's usually the only doc a woman will see on a regular basis and it's not rare for them to Rx drugs, like antidepressants as well. I wonder if your girl would get more out of talk therapy...although in my case, this just helped me realize i wanted to end things. Fair warning.
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Mother fucking .

    This was the first thing I was going to tackle. I don't care if you guys "knew" each other before dating, the fact of the matter is you moved in together after dating for one fucking month. That is way too fast, and I mean ridiculously fast. That alone, can kill a relationship because you need to really get to know someone and your relationship before you even fathom living together successfully. There's a lot of ground work that needs to be built so to speak, especially if this girl was fresh off a broken engagement (HUGE red flag). What happened was you moved in together and for a while it seemed great (as things always do when you are in the "honeymoon phase"), but as usual things started to tone down, you got more comfortable. That's when the problems set in, the novelty wears off and you are left to decipher if you two can stand the test of time.

    Unfortunately for you there were too many things against you. She's on antidepressants, which she should have researched and known will usually kill your sex drive. On top of that she was on BC. Her getting off BC didn't change shit because:
    1. She was still on the antidepressants :uh:
    2. Her body got used to the BC and it's hard to get your sex drive back
    3. She would have been better consulting her doctor and just seeing about getting a different BC, not getting off it completely-opening risk of getting pregnant.

    On top of this she is extremely insecure. The reason she hates your desire of porn is the same as any confused immature/insecure girl-they are jealous. She wants you to only desire her, which we all know is ridiculous since she won't have sex with you. You are doing nothing wrong by wanting to satisfy your sexual appetite. If anything she should be thankful and understanding that you don't just cheat on her with another woman.

    To sum it up, I hate to say it man but it's going to be pretty much impossible to save this relationship. Too many problems have surfaced and it sounds like those relationships that slowly self destruct. Even if you try to work on it together eventually everything you do wrong she's going to notice more than things you do right. It will be added to this long list of things she hates and will eventually blame you for, which isn't fair to you. The only advice you are going to most likely hear is to try and move on. This is sadly one of those things that is rarely salvagable, and honestly if I were you I'd prefer to start completely from scratch...without her.
     
  13. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    .

    This is pretty much exactly what I wanted to say. Glad I don't have to type it out. :p

    But just to add something: don't get her pregnant.
     
  14. Yuppy

    Yuppy Have a seat right there....

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    yea im sorry im too lazy to type it out, but until sex you arent dating.

    its not 1950. its 2008!

    i mean seriously

    3 dates or 10 and then you move in together?

    i mean i really dont want to sound condescending but seriously, you were not dating or really getting to know each other until jan or feb.

    it just was too much too fast
     
  15. yankeeschick14

    yankeeschick14 New Member

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    as beer said, theres a lot of problems, all of which i think have been addressed by others so i will just say...

    I generally tell people who say very quickly to me that theyre in "love" with their new SO or they dont see anything ever ending it, to talk to me again in a year. This is about the amount of time it takes the newness and novelty of the relationship, the infatuation that is perceived as love, to wear off. After a year a relationship usually goes through a transformation where you have to decide if youre in it for the long haul, or you're going to call it quits. Many relationships dont survive this benchmark. If you do, you fall into a completely different relationship than before. You, my friend, dont sound like you'll make it.

    She's turned herself off to sex for so many reasons-- self-esteem, depression, stress, etc. in turn pushing you farther and farther away because sex/being intimate is one of the very important ways that a couple reaffirms their feelings to each other. This may be her ultimate goal, be it conscious or subconscious. You have admitted she can be intimate and close with others but not you. What does that tell you?

    What was the reason for her ended engagement?
     
  16. Nsane1

    Nsane1 New Member

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    I thought that too, at one point. We've been through some ugly arguments. All of which ended in her chosing to stay together. I'm not sure if she chose that because it's what I wanted or because she truely wants it work out.

    Please re-read.

    We worked together for almost two years. During that time we were good friends. It wasn't until Jul 05 that I seriously started pondering what it would be like to be more than friends.

    Bear with me. Thanks for reading and posting your thoughts/advice.

    I tend agree with them being a scam. She's been off of them for several months now. You're right, the chance for other issues is pretty apparent.

    That's about is was with us. We could bump into each other in the hallway and we end up in the bedroom (or stay in the hallway). I know each person's sex drive is different. I'm just confused how we go from many times a day, to once every couple/several weeks.

    So you're saying you knew that your relationship was over but hadn't ended it yet. Does that mean you had no sexual desire either? She and I haven't hit that final straw yet. I would love more than anything for this to work out. I believe she has the same want.

    She did mention (a long time ago) she doesn't have much personal time. I'm not discarding the fact we may have moved in together too quickly. Anyways, I took a few steps back, gave her some space. It felt like we were fucking room mates. I felt alone my own home. She said the same thing.

    Thanks for shedding light on that. IF it leads to talk therapy and we come to that conclusion - so be it. It'll just hurt like hell. One of my main reasons for keeping on is, she wants get through it, as do I. If would level off one way or the other it would aid in me making a decision. Hence, the rollercoaster. Sometimes it's great, and others it sucks.

    Extremely eye opening - Thank you. Do you think it would have lasted THIS long if it were indeed a mistake? Is there a way to go back/undo without physically moving out and "starting over"?

    She's off both now. Been off BC longer than I can remember. Been off anti-depressants for several months now. (I'm not certain how long it takes for that to take effect). However, as previously said, she was on BOTH before we we were sexually involved so I know she was capable of being turned on. I do however agree with the increased risk of pregnancy.

    I figured this was the case. I won't stop looking at porn. I'll just do a better job masking it!

    I really appreciate your honest opinion. I'm not giving up, yet. I truly love her. That's what has made of this so hard. I've loved her so much and poured my heart-n-soul into this relationship and felt like I've been slapped in the face. If we get to the vanishing point, that's exactly what I going to do. Change my lattitude and start completely over.

    No worries. I knew what you meant.

    What's true opinion? Any way to undo/go back with out moving out?

    I believe that's great advice.

    I agree with sex being a way to reaffirm (great adjective) their feelings. Yeah, she can show immense affection towards her nephew. I think the reason she shuts me out is in fear of a kiss/hug turning into sex. Sometimes I feel she more concentrated towards not having sex. Once she relaxes and allows it to happen I think she truely enjoys the experience.
     
  17. Nsane1

    Nsane1 New Member

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    Thanks again to everyone who posted. I truly appreciate it - regardless of whether or not I like what I read.

    I'm going to be working on a "speech" or letter in the near future that includes some of the opinions within this thread. I'm far from being a wordsman. I've attempted to address sex & intimacy as an important part of a relationship. I think she thinks I am a "male pig" that wants to fuck all the time. My question is, how do I relay that in such a way that doesn't make me look like sex is ALL I care about?
     
  18. Kirbys Autumn

    Kirbys Autumn Mrs. Kirby McSpic

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    I don't care how long you knew each other before you decided to be exclusive. Knowing how someone is as a friend, is something completely different in a relationship. You knew her friend-wise, not SO-wise. You moved in WAY TOO quickly, and you just moved too fast.
    She needs to see a professional because of the fact that she uses anti-depressants. You're letting us assume she has emotional problems and is depressed. Otherwise, she wouldn't take medication for it now would she? On top of that she shouldn't be changing her dosage or stop taking it until a doctor approves.
    Both of you need to sit down like adults and talk about your problems. You moved too quickly in the relationship. You've got past the honeymoon phase, you're falling apart and it seems like she's already given up. Stop having little bits of conversations here and there, half-solving problems and actually have a real adult conversation. Discuss all your problems openly and compromise.
    And there's nothing wrong with professional help. If my family would have gotten my grandfather professional help, then maybe he'd still be alive today and I would know him. You don't have to like it, but at least be open to the idea.
     
  19. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    I'm not saying your relationship was a mistake, just the timing was terrible. After someone breaks an engagement the last thing they should be doing is moving in with their SO of a month or so. I mean she should have taken a few months to herself honestly to figure shit out and maybe casually dated you during that time, but moving in is just a clear sign that she was in love with having the closeness of someone, which is common. If you hadn't of rushed things I think things would have been different.

    Right, I understand that she used to be horny, but again, this is really common in most couples. Why do you think they say married couples don't have sex? Most times the novelty wears off and it gets routine, which is why people spice things up a bit. But in your case it sounds like there's far more problems that maybe you don't even know about because not only has she lost her libido...but now she doesn't seem to even want to try to get it back with you!

    Well don't try to "hide" it, that's only going to make her go fucking berserk if she finds out. It's healthy, you should treat it as such and defend yourself to the max.

    :bigthumb:
     
  20. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    Hey man, but in other news... I nominate you for most organized poster of the year. Even if it's only Jan 2nd.

    You've already gotten some great advice in this thread so I'll just commend you on your organizational and breakdown skills. It's really an asset.
     
  21. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :werd: I was going to say it's a pleasure to give advice to someone mature and intelligent that took the time to use so many details.
     
  22. Nsane1

    Nsane1 New Member

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    Location:
    Tennessee
    As I mentioned earlier. She had said a long a time ago she would like some time to herself. That ended up making us feel like room mates. Is there any other action/approach you suggest other than moving out/separating? Honestly, we evaluated/discussed each step as it came up. When we reached the point to be exclusive, we discussed and both agreed it's something we wanted to pursue. Same goes for moving in. I was paying rent for my own place, but spending the night at her place. It just so happened that when it came time to renew my lease, she asked if I wanted to move in with her since I had been staying there anyways. I guess what totally confuses me is how her outlook has changed, and mine hasn't. Plus she continues to tell me she wants to stay together and sort through it all. I know I've dwelled on the bad things. But like I've said, things go up and down. But it's when things are down it weighs on my feelings so damn bad. When we're up, it's like I forget we ever had any troubles.

    That term has always pissed me off (not bitchin' at you). It's a fucked up truth though. I just don't see how ,at times, its like she has NO sexual desire at all. Back in the summer (at the lowest part of all this) we went 8 weeks with no sexual acts. I think I had not gotten royally pissed off about it (at the 6 week mark) she would have gone much much longer and not thought one thing about it. I will admit, it's stupid to get pissed off and mad about sex. I know it hasn't helped the situation. On certain things, to get yout point across to her, you have to hit her right between the eyes with it. It was then that I told her (to the best of my ability) that sex/making love is WAY different than fucking. A healthy sex life is important to a healthy relationship - all that jazz. I think she took in what I said, but I don't think it was fully absorbed. Since then when I convey my thoughts about it, I think she thinks I am being a broken record. . . Anyways, I fuckin' rambled. It was at that point when things began to progress (some). She still isn't the same freak she was before. I still feel she has a wall up and won't open herself completely to me like she was before. It's like she's brainwashed into thinking this is how things are supposed to be. Like nothing in life is supposed to be perfect and true happiness doesn't exist.

    Heh. Funny you suggest that. She did say she found it "gross" that I looked at porn "behind closed doors". It's like she thought I was some old perv lookin' into the neighbor's window or some shit. Anyways, she suggested that I do it front of her as alternative. I've yet to try that. Who knows, maybe the thought of me strokin' my own ego in front of her will get pheremones kickin'! (I doubt it - but - it's worth a shot. <- no pun intended)

    :bigthumb:[/quote]

    Thanks again for your support! :wiggle:

    Thanks too, for the compliments. As I said in the headlining post it would have been nearly impossible to give adequate advice if some important details aren't outlined. Even still, I'm sure I've left some things out. One of ya's thinks we've only had half-assed convo's. We've actually sat down and had some good convo (lately). I know this shit isn't gonna change over night. It's gonna be a slow road to progression. IF we decide to continue down this road.

    My gut (at this point) tells me it's possible to get through it. I'm commited to work towards our happiness and well being. We've all seen people get through alot worse.
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2008

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