SRS First night in social situation after quitting alcohol

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Yail Bloor, Apr 24, 2008.

  1. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Background: My drinking has been an ever-increasing problem for me in the last couple of years. It escalated to the point that recently I was a drunk for 4 months. I was drunk 1 or 2 times per day during this time.

    I finally humbled myself and came to terms with my drinking problem and admitted to myself that I am an alcoholic, and quit drinking about a month ago.

    I purposefully avoided any social situations that involved alcohol until last night.

    One of my closest friends visited from out of state, and when I met up with him he was drinking at a restaurant.

    He would forget that I had quit drinking and would offer me a drink repeatedly. He wasn't being mean, its just that social drinking is so ingrained in his world (and my old world). Everything we used to do together always involved alcohol.

    I had to travel to a neighboring city to see him. While still at home I toyed with the idea of having a beer (one won't hurt, right?).

    Then I was honest with myself and admitted that it is impossible for me to have 1 drink. If I tried to have 1 drink with dinner, I would have at least 3 drinks. Then I would be driving border-line drunk, and after I was buzzing most likely I would have 10 drinks before the night was over.

    I really didn't crave a drink and I had no problem abstaining, but its certainly not as much fun to go out socially and not drink.
     
  2. O'Fuck

    O'Fuck Guest

    Glad you held to your guns :bigthumb:
     
  3. i killed tupac

    i killed tupac New Member

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    You got lucky. It sounds harsh, I know, but you keep this kind of behavior up and you will be back at it.
     
  4. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Well the important thing is you didn't drink. You may have a more difficult time later.

    For the first year, I avoided all contact with my old party places and/or party friends. Yes, it sucked. I felt isolated but something had to change and I simply didn't think I could change without some radical steps. I would still talk with my friends and hang out but not like we used to and certainly NOT in the places we used to drink it.....it was just too close to what we used to do.

    After a year I realized I couldn't avoid all drinking situations. So I worked this out with my sponsor and it's worked for many years. It's simple solution but one that requires me to be the responsible party and to take care of myself. So the rule is, I give myself permission to go to any event where alcohol might be served, any event, but if I feel goofy, down, depressed or I'm obsessing about alcohol, I also give myself permission to leave....even without explanation to anyone.

    Now this has caused some issues throughout the years but once I explain what happened (usually in past tense) most people understand.

    The really fucked up thing about this disease is that I have no control when it will kick my ass. They say it's cunning, baffling and powerful and I completely agree. There have been times when my disease comes out of nowhere and just clobbers me and I'm right back to thinking and feeling like a newcomer. I'm restless, irritable and discontent and I need help to say sober. These things don't necessarily mean I'm doing something wrong or that I'm about to drink again, it's just part of the deal.

    So when I'm at a party and start feeling shitty, I leave and call my sponsor, go to a meeting or do something to remove myself from the uncomfortable situation. It's something that's worked for many years but it's sometimes very difficult to do....I mean sometimes I really do want to drink and I don't want to leave a bar. But I know that if I don't leave, I may drink and I know that's not the answer.

    Anyways, I hope that helps. Good Luck and God Bless.
     
  5. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    Thanks! :bigthumb:

    Since I enjoy giving advice and sounding like I know it all - I've made myself take to heart what you are saying here.

    I believe there is some truth here. If I were to frequently put myself in these situations, it would greatly increase the chance of backsliding.
     
  6. elloyou

    elloyou Guest

    what happened to your orb?
     
  7. Shapedoctor

    Shapedoctor Omnivore, & Author of the Shapedoctor Manifesto

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    It took me several months before I was completely comfortable being around drinkers, going to bars, etc, but I'm fine with it now. As for making it fun, try to go places where there's something to do besides sitting and drinking. I like places with pool tables.
     
  8. Shapedoctor

    Shapedoctor Omnivore, & Author of the Shapedoctor Manifesto

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    Also, if you go out with a group, make sure you tell the bartender you're the designated driver and you might get free sodas. Getting things for free is fun.
     
  9. O'Fuck

    O'Fuck Guest

    Hmm, I need to try that one.
     
  10. undirected

    undirected Guest

    With any luck they took it away from that megalomaniacal asshole :ugh2:
     
  11. polishillusion

    polishillusion New Member

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    I like how you authentically "forwarded the tape" to see how you KNEW you were going to act if you took that one sip.

    Good job and good luck.
     
  12. Shapedoctor

    Shapedoctor Omnivore, & Author of the Shapedoctor Manifesto

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    On top of getting free drinks from the bar, sometimes my friends will pay for my whole night out in exchange for a safe ride.:wiggle:
     
  13. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    thanks :bigthumb:
     
  14. O'Fuck

    O'Fuck Guest

    :rofl:

    iblock
     
  15. Yail Bloor

    Yail Bloor OT Supporter

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    yeah so I'm off the weed now too

    I've noticed that I'm using a lot more caffeine
     
  16. undirected

    undirected Guest

    You will. My coffee intake shot up from one and a half cups or so every morning to 3-4 or more throughout the day. I also ramped up my use of cigarettes as well.
     
  17. Shinta

    Shinta New Member

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    I did that once but the bartender was putting in small amounts of Jack Daniel in my coke. Without me even realizing I got drunk. Way to go fucking bartender :ugh:. Just be careful guys.

    Actually I recently quit drinking and thought I wouldn't be able to handle a social enviroment, but it turned out fine. I just thought to myself I'm going to have to deal with it sooner or later might as well start now.
     
  18. O'Fuck

    O'Fuck Guest

    Thats pretty fucked up. Are you positive it wasn't any miscommunication, and they were actually trying to be malicious?

    I guess I just don't really do much bar hopping or clubbing, and haven't for years. The couple bars I go to- I'm good friends with the staff, and they are happy for my being sober... and more than happy to feed me waters and coffees.
     
  19. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    I've noticed something similar when I was going to bars....except I watched that fucking bartender like a hawk because I've been one and I know how shit can happen. When I saw it, I refused the drink and switched to bottled water only.

    How it happened to me, my friend was ordering jack n coke. In fact, the BT was pouring 3-4 of them in a row. When he got to the end, he just put a dash of jack in it and then realized it was for me and pulled the bottle down quickly.

    He wasn't so much doing this to get me drunk or fuck with me. He was just in a hurry then realized it was just a coke and pulled down the bottle immediately.

    I also never drink water that's made with "well" ice. Well ice is the ice that's usually stored right under the counter top where they pour drinks. Having worked as a BT, I know that that ice gets splashed by liquor at times and down right covered at other times.

    I don't even want to taste or smell tiny amounts of alcohol in my drinks so I avoid that type of water and stick to bottled water only.

    However, this is one of the main reasons I avoid bars. Just too much room for error and getting sober sucks! I don't want to go through that shit again....ever.
     

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