SRS First love coming back into my life after a year, but I have a gf.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by OhHai, Mar 12, 2008.

  1. OhHai

    OhHai New Member

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    Ok, so I have a long story here, but bear with me. About 1 year ago, I broke up with my first love, first long term girlfriend. We were each others firsts and we dated for 2 years. She cheated on me once at the start of our relationship by kissing another guy at a party, but after that she changed and we dated happily for 2 years. Towards the end of our relationship we started getting into lots of fights, and it was a downward spiral of on-again / off-again fights for about 4 months. We broke up and got back together countless times for the last 4 months of our relationship (big red flag I know, but I was jaded and in love). Eventually the fighting got to be too much and we both ended it. We were both miserable for about 6 months after that, with a bit of communication here and there. I rebounded with a few girls, and then started dating again. During this period I occasionally heard from her, and she would tell me she was not dating anyone. Eventually we stopped talking for awhile. I had a few dates here and there, but no one was special. Eventually I found my newest GF, the one I'm with now. She was amazing and basically everything I was looking for. We are happy, until about 2 weeks ago. My ex has recently been calling at least once a day, and I never talk with her. But I called her back once and we met for coffee. She told me she wants to try dating me again and give us another chance. I was shocked and a little confused at this comment. I said I should be going and walked her to her car. Before she left, she tried to kiss me (I avoided it because I have a girlfriend) but ever since that day she has been on my mind. I am conflicted because I really do enjoy my GF now, but she is missing a certain something that my first GF had. The thing that I am scared of is ending things with my current girl (which is going great) and jumping ship to try to start a relationship again with my ex (which failed the first time around) and eventually losing both girls. My ex has told me she has matured alot over this time we have been broken up, but part of me is scared we will just end up fighting and history will repeat itself. Honestly, deep down I dont think I ever got over my ex, as she will always have a piece of me. Part of me wants to end things with my current GF just to give things a try again with the ex, but my brain is telling me that is stupid. I guess I am just venting, but any advice would be welcome. Sorry for the long read :o
     
  2. Dreams2Reality

    Dreams2Reality saywhat

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    Break up with your current girlfriend, wether or not you attempt things with your ex. You don't deserve to have a good girl if you're mind is on another. Be a stand up man and end it.

    As for your ex, fuck that. She's your ex for a reason.

    Oh, if you want replies, add some paragraphs bro.
     
  3. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    Yeah dude. What if your gf was having these same feelings about her first love? You'd probably dump her on principle alone.
     
  4. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Do your current girlfriend a chance and break up with her, she deserves better.

    But let me guess, you'll keep her around because you are pathetic and don't want to me alone. So you'll string your current along until you figure out what you want.
     
  5. OhHai

    OhHai New Member

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    Probably what I should do. If the situation were reversed I would hope she would do the same to me..


    Edit: I guess what I'm wondering is if things could work out a second time? I feel like things couldn't work out again..
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2008
  6. WOMBUZZ

    WOMBUZZ New Member

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    if you say fuck off to your ex she will probably never come back which i think you might be scared of

    but if you say fuck off to your current gf you might be missing out on a good thing

    sounded to me like things with your ex got pretty hectic and shitty for a while at the end. I think you should stick with your current gf if you like her. I dont think you should stick with your current if you just thing its a "good thing" and you don't want to mess it up.
     
  7. Mangina

    Mangina New Member

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    your ex is lonely and desperate. Nothing more.
     
  8. nezfotnemom

    nezfotnemom OT Supporter

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    [​IMG]
     
  9. kEVOgt350

    kEVOgt350 Like a flashlight on but lost, my energy's there b

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    Did you tell your ex you have a gf prior to her trying to kiss you? If so, she obviously hasn't learned her lesson since she is willing to put an innocent girl through the same pain she put you through.
     
  10. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    That's true, too.

    One of my exes tried to get back with me a few times after we broke up. I'm sure each time it was after she and some dude broke up or had a fight. She was like that (that's why we broke up).
     
  11. OhHai

    OhHai New Member

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    Hit the nail on the head. I think its possible my ex might be lonely because she claims she hasn't been able to date anyone because she doesn't want too, she can only see herself dating me.
     
  12. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Honestly? Probably not. She cheated on you. You could waste your time and try, but if it's apparent at any point that things just arent the same, you don't trust her anymore, etc. Then you need to move on from her as well.
     
  13. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :bowrofl:
     
  14. bimmer318

    bimmer318 I'm out of applesauce

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    Stay with your current girl
     
  15. imhisgrl85

    imhisgrl85 New Member

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  16. Exiled

    Exiled New Member

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  17. Tzuma

    Tzuma New Member

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    Break up with the current girlfriend, she deserves better.

    Test the waters with the new girlfriend, but dont do anything 'official' until youre comfortable.

    The new girl is obviously just a filler if youre still having thoughts about getting with the old one. However, you will never be over the old one if you dont answer the 'will this work' answer for yourself.

    Obviously you cant answer it in your own mind (or you wouldnt be posting) so I say date her again and see. At least youll have your answer either way, and future relationships will be stronger because of it (if you dont stay together).

    Im not as jaded as to say that reconnecting with an old love wont ever work, but the numbers arent on your side. Add that she was your first in every way, and I think your holding on to feelings that may not be as real. You wont know unless you A) believe the Vag (wont happen) or B) Find out.

    But at least do the decent thing by this new girl if theres any doubt about the old flame. Half credit at least.
     

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