Finding his porn..

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by MaryJane, Jan 14, 2005.

  1. MaryJane

    MaryJane Guest

    Alright- I'm not trying to make a big deal out of this. It's pretty common.

    I feel inadequate to some of the pictures that he keeps- and it makes me feel like I'm not attractive enough and he needs something else to get him up.

    Should i feel this insecur about his many porn collection or is it normal?
     
  2. Rocky6535

    Rocky6535 Now, let me see you smile...

    Joined:
    Nov 30, 2004
    Messages:
    785
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Detroit, MI currently in NJ
    If he wasn't attracted to you, he'd probably stop going out with you or at least not have sex with you. What's in his collection is not really an indication of what he wants in real life. If he doesn't respond to your advances in bed, then get worried...
     
  3. Zak8022

    Zak8022 New Member

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2004
    Messages:
    4,012
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Maryland
    well... being a guy.. and being a guy who's been with a woman in your shoes.. here's my take on it.

    just cuz he has anything against you. or that you are inadequate. and just because you think the girls in his porn are more attractive than you doesnt really mean much. if you two are serious then he still loves you, and most likely still finds you attractive. i dont really know how to explain it.. but masturbation and porn is different than real life. like.. i have a g/f.. and sex is great with her. but there are times when she isnt around and i'm horny that i will use it and whatnot.

    now, if he starts picking porn over you... then there's a problem.. but i would try not to worry about it too too much.

    maybe have a talk with him about it. jsut try not to be accusatory towards him. also dont go in saying how you might feel not as attractive. just talk to him, and inquire about his thoughts/feelings on teh matter and see how thigns go.
     
  4. Hotrodheb

    Hotrodheb New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2004
    Messages:
    205
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Bay Area, CA
    There is a reason that the porn industry is so large! There are so many men and women:bowdown: everywhere are into porn that it has to be considered normal. You should not feel insecure or inadequate about his collection. He is with you because he finds you attractive!:hsd: If it really bothers you, talk to him about it, but do not try and force him to get rid of it as that could make him feel resentful. If you are comfortable with it, maybe suggest making your own private porn?
     
  5. neebelung

    neebelung Guest

    No, you absolutely should NOT feel inadequate about his porn. It, much like masturbation, has nothing to do with you at all! I've heard porn called "lazy man's sex" because it's sexual gratification without the effort... he doesn't need to worry about foreplay, he doesn't need to worry if he does it right, and he doesn't need to cuddle afterward. It's purely for his own release, and is not in the least a reflection of you, how attracted he is to you, or how he feels about you.

    If it bothers you, why don't you try looking at it WITH him sometime... learn what specific types of images excite him and maybe try to emulate those things (if you're a brunette and he has a lot of pics of blondes, buy a glamorous blonde wig from Frederick's, or if there's a specific type of lingerie or outfit he likes, such as a naughty school girl or a police woman, then dress up for him!)

    I'm not suggesting that your dressing up will eliinate his desire for porn, but maybe by understanding what he's specifically turned on by will help you to feel more desirable.
     
  6. BedBunny

    BedBunny Guest

    do you have a porn collection? if not, why not?
     
  7. MaryJane

    MaryJane Guest

    thanks you guys... but, i wanted some insight from a men's point of view. He is still very attracted to me... i just thought that guys keep porn around because they need to to help get eroused when their s/o isnt working anymore.
     
  8. orie

    orie social assassin

    Joined:
    Jun 20, 2001
    Messages:
    90,688
    Likes Received:
    56
    Location:
    Prestigious Loudoun County
    :ugh:
     
  9. Muricane

    Muricane Active Member

    Joined:
    Jun 26, 2002
    Messages:
    43,230
    Likes Received:
    1
    Grow. Up.
     
  10. Buckaroo Banzai2

    Buckaroo Banzai2 leave a message at the beep

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2001
    Messages:
    2,474
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Midwest
    Its a natural thing. I am female and have a porn collection. He's not replacing you with the porn he is just using it for those times when he wants to enjoy it or enhance things before.
     
  11. mkevaldz

    mkevaldz New Member

    Joined:
    Oct 5, 2004
    Messages:
    1,381
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    the Home of Humidity, TX
    He's a guy...guys like nekkid things, don't take it personally...

    or take it personally, dump him, get with the ugliest man you can possibly imagine, a guy so ugly, the docter slapped his mother instead of the baby when he was born...get with that ugly guy, and then find the exact same porn collection on his computer....

    Moral of the story....

    all guys look at nekkid people in some way, shape or form...

    on a personal note, this is just me, I've never heard of guys doing this, but once I get with someone, I wipe out my porn collection...they never believe me when I tell them, I'm a computer tech and could cover my tracks, so they don't believe me, but I do. I can browse the main ot forum, see the "would you hit it" posts, and still, when I"m having sex with my s/o, for the 30minutes to 2 hours or so that it's going on...she's the only person that exists in the world to me.
     
  12. RockChick

    RockChick New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2004
    Messages:
    954
    Likes Received:
    0
    my bf has a nice porn collection on his comp... like 5gb, lol
    i couldnt care less. first of all, i know that he was thinking about getting rid of his collection cos it doesnt do something for him (anymore)... second, like i said, i dont give a shit cos in the end he is making love with me. so, i told him we could use those movies to get some interesting ideas... "problem" solved... and so on and so on... :big grin:
     
  13. calilynne

    calilynne New Member

    Joined:
    Dec 31, 2004
    Messages:
    65
    Likes Received:
    0
    Does he make you feel secure in your relationship? Does he tell you that he cares and wants to be with you?

    Men are visual. They love to look at attractive things and this is something that is so natural to them, that it will never change even if they attempt to surpress it. This is something that I feel women need to understand and accept about our guys.

    Have you considered trying to become a part of this with him? Sitting down and looking at it together? What kind of porn is this? Magazines, videos or both? Perhaps it will be even hotter to him to think that you have an interest, or that he can share porn with you. Might even make your sex hotter too...

    I love to watch pornos with my guy and he even borrowed a few issues of Playboy -they really do have great articles- from me that he had missed prior to getting his own subscription. It excites him, which excites me even more. It works for both of us.

    He can relax, be open and honest with me about it. I like better that he doesnt have to hide it from me, I would rather know than be deceived.
     
  14. BTA

    BTA New Member

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2004
    Messages:
    674
    Likes Received:
    0
    Okay I've watched porns where guys jizz inside a girls ass and let it drip out into a glass so she can drink it.

    Doesnt mean I want my girlfriend to do that.

    He still loves you and finds you attractive, dont worry about it.
     
  15. JordanClarkson

    JordanClarkson OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Oct 11, 2002
    Messages:
    59,954
    Likes Received:
    16
    Location:
    Go Dodger Blue!
    It's a nice way to escape from your everyday life. It keeps his attraction to you more fresh. Try suggesting role playing.
     
  16. showstopper2

    showstopper2 Guest

    how many guys on here don't have any porn on their computer???? I know I'm not gonna raise my hand..........

    My wife doesn't care at all about it. in no way am I cheating on her by watching it. if anything she probably thinks I'm a little perverted and she would be right to think so. it has not and never will affect our sexual relationship.

    are you expecting to hear your man call you Jenna while he fucks the crap outta ya or something??? Plain and simple men are very visually stimulated by porn but our sex and love is completely different than yours. we can easily seperate the two. I don't wish my wife to be like a porn star in any way. the day she tries to I'm leaving her!
     
  17. Big Red

    Big Red New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 14, 2003
    Messages:
    350
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Ft Riley, KS
    I finally found my hubbys porn collection and I love it :naughty: Not all women can be as excited as I am by it but you should definitely be accepting. I wasn't always as open minded as I am now, trust me when I was younger I pitched a fit over some nudes he had of his ex wife.
     
  18. KelKel

    KelKel New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2005
    Messages:
    1,043
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Orleans
    sometimes i feel the same way, but when you really think bout it a real pussy is better than a hand anyday
     
  19. xxxgames12

    xxxgames12 Guest

    mm.. it dosen't really mean he dosen't find you attractive. he's obveously a little immature. he needs to grow up.
     
  20. Myst

    Myst New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 9, 2005
    Messages:
    107
    Likes Received:
    0
    Never take a guys porn personally unless he prefers it to you. He could be acting out a fantasy in his head. Ask him if there's something new he'd like to try in the bedroom.
     
  21. Your artn as hot as the girls in porn. You wont do half the stuff they do, and the stuff you do do, you dont do well.





















































































    At least thats how I felt about my x gf......
     
  22. KelKel

    KelKel New Member

    Joined:
    Jan 16, 2005
    Messages:
    1,043
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    New Orleans
    ^ sucks for you
     
  23. TampaGirl813

    TampaGirl813 Guest

    I've said it before, if a guy has a computer, he has some kind of porn. It doesn't make you any less desirable (so I think)...Me, I don;t mind porn, or that my man has tons of it on his computer ( I have alot myself).....
    On another note if it starts to come between you guys, or your sex life, thats another story. THEN I would have some serious issues with it! Men will be men, they will do things we don't like...more then once usually!! If you want it to work then compromise, or just let him know you don't like it if you can't deal.
    If not, enjoy it, learn things, and have fun with yout relationship....:)
     
  24. adam17

    adam17 now im gonna sing the doom song! doom doom doom do

    Joined:
    Aug 25, 2004
    Messages:
    1,666
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    n ur gf's bed
    if he ignores your advances then there is a problem. same thing if he chooses porn over you. otherwise guys, and girls, like to watch porn. it can be an outlet into trying new things w/o actually participating. u know?
     
  25. TekDragon

    TekDragon Guest

    Definately showing this thread to my wife. Expect a post from her :)
     

Share This Page