SRS finally askin.. girl advice

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by unorthadox, Mar 6, 2007.

  1. unorthadox

    unorthadox New Member

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    i have been lurking this forum for a while searching for what may be the right advice and although i've found numerous matches, none of them seem to fit.

    basically, i have had bad luck (although some might not call it that) all my life with girls. i finally met one that has got my attention through more than just good looks, and i am thinking that i need to change something unless i want the usual occurance to happen - i.e. we become "friends."

    it seems that i know alot of people, alot of girls especially, at school but that's where the line is drawn. they're my "friends" not more than that - and don't get me wrong i love having them as that, but somedays a msn conversation just doesn't quite cut it.

    so basically, i would love tips on where i need to improve, how i can do so, and etc etc.

    background:
    i met this girl this year as we share all the same classes and i was put in a group with her. she knows a couple of the same people i know, but beyond that i haven't seen her before.

    since then we have hit it off prety well, making jokes to each other about the profs. but the last thing i want to do is have "just another" friend. is there a point of escalation i need to recognize? do i need to make my intentions with her known in a sublte way? i have been lacking in this department because everytime i think about doing it i consider if it will impact the group. however, i chalk up that excuse to me just being a pussy and not wanting to take a risk.

    what's the best way to initiate a level of interest with the girl or gauge if she is at all interested in me... a coffee date was what i was thinking?

    i've always thought that the phrase "if you can make a girl laugh, you can maker do anything," applies to the love life, but that just doesn't seem to be so.

    i'm more than likely leaving out important details here, and i'm betting that im blind to some obvious advice - but anything is more than appreciated. you know the feeling where you're just bored with life but scared to do anything about it? yup, that sums it up in a nutshell.
     
  2. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Basically what you have to do is to skip the whole friends thing by immediatly making clear that that's not what you want. In the end you are in control in your life, so you need to steer your ship into the right direction by making a move that's forwarding towards a future spend together instead of just hanging out. The difference is made not only in communicating that you are looking for a long term relationship instead of friendship, or friendship but her knowing that you'd like to make something more of it, and doing things that are not present in friendships, like dating or romantic nights out, you do this by inviting her on a date to which she can say yes or no. So keep on steering towards long term relationship and it normally should prevent you from falling into the friendzoned thing.

    But its a very fluctuating thing, Its something you need to hold with cotton gloves, one day she'd might go beserk, and the other time she'd love to, the mood is very important and that's something you have to feel, but you can also just take advantage of the suprising moment, and just ask her out.
     
  3. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    1) Ask her on a "date" - and CALL IT A DATE.

    2) Physical contact. That's the #1 quick indicator that you want more than just a friends relationship. Take appropriate opportunities to touch her in ways that come off as more intimate than just friends, but still aren't creepy. See how she responds.
     
  4. unorthadox

    unorthadox New Member

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    Thanks Dark and Blazer, I'll let you know how it goes on updates.

    One other thing about conflicting advice i've "acquired"... people say that I should be more assertive but it's not in my tendancy to be like that. but i have also heard that you just need to be yourself. so in order to get-the-girl should i change or should i be myself? confusedddd...
     
  5. johan

    johan Active Member

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    You need to become more assertive so others can get to know you.
    Become more open and inviting to social exchange.

    You are still you, meaning all of your likes, and dislikes, hopes and fears.
    Highlight your better aspects. Be welcoming, friendly and engaging, even if you think that isn't "your" nature.

    Even an extremely introverted person will need to emerge out of his cave eventually, if he hopes to acquire friendship, esp. female friendship.

    Trust yourself to leave that aspect of yourself on hold, for now.

    Come out of the cave and bring all the other positive, shining parts of yourself. Leave the shyness at home. It does you no service in this task.

    Good luck. Just get up some courage, enough to smile and say 'hi'.
     
  6. ledzep73

    ledzep73 New Member

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    Well said. You can be yourself and add confidence without becoming an arrogant prick.
     
  7. BlackIce72

    BlackIce72 New Member

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    please take some time to read the following:

    http://esnips.com/doc/73e9ac3b-c21e-468e-8cb2-21e9dda2c23e/David-DeAngelo---Double-Your-Dating

    Download that .pdf and read it, then buy it if you like it (it's copyrighted material, you know what I mean?)

    It's not my favorite e-book in the least bit from the seduction community ( I've dont everything but a bootcamp basically), but it's a great place to start understanding women.

    You'll begin to understand some of the counter-intuitive aspects of women.
     

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