I always find it odd when people talk about validation like it's a bad thing. I also find it odd when they make the old "filling a hole" analogy. Because what, effectively, is the difference? I'm asking what the CONCRETE difference is between "filling a hole" and "enhancing what is already there." What is the difference between being with someone because they make your life better (enhancing what is already there), versus being with someone because your life is worse without them (filling a hole)? Aren't they exactly the same thing, only, worded differently? The effective difference, as far as I can tell, is 0. Let's look at it in terms of concrete effects and consequences. Here's a hypothetical: I am with this hot girl to fill a hole in my ego and because her hotness validates me. So give me some negative consequences. Is it that we will eventually break up? Because... everyone breaks up. It happens. Is it that we can't feel happy together? As far as I can tell, I could feel happy by "filling a hole in my ego" and "getting validated" for the rest of my days.