SRS Few friends as I hit 30

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by advertisingguru, Feb 27, 2010.

  1. advertisingguru

    advertisingguru New Member

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    Hey,

    So recently I've been thinking about how I have so few friends as I approach 30 years of age.

    There were times in my life where I had a large group of friends, and went out every Friday and Saturday night without fail. Also went on vacations with friends.

    Now I look around and think: WHERE are all those people? It's almost as if they've disappeared, and don't have the time for ANYTHING. I feel like I'd be lucky to ever see these people ever again, that's how reticent they are to get together with me and others.

    So, right now I have a best friend, and about 3 close friends who I keep in touch with. My relationship with my best friend in particular is incredibly strong, but he's getting married soon, so there's that whole thing.

    Luckily I've just joined various classes in the hopes that I can find others to befriend too, or at least talk to and have fun with. But even so, I still lament the fact that I'm left with so few friends (even though I have my whole life ahead of me to make more).
     
  2. Prop

    Prop Guest


    Hi!

    Believe it or not, I think this is normal. I ran with a largish social circle all the way up to my 30's. Today, I hang out with maybe 2 people on the regular, and there's about oh.... maybe 6 or 7 more that I haven't spoken to in some months, but I could call and it would be just like yesterday.

    As we get older, we tend to drift away, it seems. I don't know why. People settle down, or move away, mostly it seems, but they aren't gone. You don't hang with as many people but you're closer to the ones you stay around.

    If I wanted to, I could spend a lot of time and probably even gather up a larger circle again, but I've got too many other things to worry about now it seems.

    Hope it helps.
     
  3. BoomBoomBoy

    BoomBoomBoy Guest

    It's just part of life. You make many friends during your academic life, and those people drift away a few years after graduation. People get married, start families, and relocate due to work requirements.

    Few people are lucky enough to continue friendships with their best frieds throughout their lives.
     
  4. Nite_Lilly

    Nite_Lilly Member

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    While you are thinking of your old friends, pick up the phone and call them. Don't let time slip away. Otherwise you may get to your mid-life crisis, when you and your friends will wake up and say where did my youth go and hurry to reconnect with each other and your youth. I'm watching my ex go through this now. He also sacrificed our relationship in his mid-life crisis thinking I held him back and away from all his friends from his youth. Of course, that is totally inaccurate, but as with youthful hormones, the mid-life hormones make idiots of us. Now he is back 'reconnecting' with all his old female classmates and shooting the breeze with 'the guys'.

    The point is, if you miss your friends, call them. Stay in touch. It may take a little extra effort, but in the long run it'll be worth it.
     
  5. NappyTurk

    NappyTurk Banned

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    The majority of the people you are referring to as "friends" were obviously acquaintances in disguise.

    Be glad that you have a few good friends. Quality over quantity ftw.
     
  6. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    I think its also possible to rekindle contacts again once they've settled down, its just a matter of keep holding on and keep asking when they have time again, it then can be fun time again, but it takes more endurance to keep the relationships alive.
     
  7. Dnias

    Dnias New Member

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    Don't feel bad man. I just turned 28 this past December and can still count on one hand hwo many friends i have. Back in highschool it almost seemed as if i was schedualing who to hang out with. I think it's totaly normal for ppl to stop hanging out with the larg "clique" they use to be in. Don't get me wrgon i miss those days my self but sometimes i am alot happier with the fewer friends i have...less BS to deal with. And really all and all. You only really need just a few ppl in your life to be close with, the rest can just well fuck off i guess.
     
  8. Grok1122

    Grok1122 New Member

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    I completely agree with the general trend in thought here. Especially with the internet, which you obvioulsy are a fan of, I think lots of people have few close friends. The internet satisfies a lot of your social needs, and your close friends satisfy your deeper social needs.

    In my opinion the image of having a large social circle is due to the fact that people who are more extraverted are by nature more socially visible.
     

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