Well, first, a bit of background. First off, i'm 19. Some OTers may know i was involved in a very serious car accident in July of 2005. There was a 6 or so page thread about it, and i've talked with quite a few others about it since then. I hit a lightpost at 93kmh impact speed on my drivers door in my modded 240sx. I broke just about every bone in my body (the big ones anyways...maybe 30ish total?) and had very serious internal injuries, as well as nerve damage to my left hand, entire left leg, and right leg from about mid calf down. I spent 5 months in the hospital the first round, and 2 weeks for 2 more surgeries in June of 06. I've had 11 major surgeries, with one more to go (Open Heart) in Early - Mid 2007. I was on an anti depressant for a while in the hospital, and a few months after my discharge date (Effexor XR. I was on a really low dose, about 40mg 2x daily.) Most of 2006, i've been feeling generally pretty good, sure there's good days and bad days, but on a whole, it's been generally upbeat. I still need a cane and a leg brace to walk, but i'm starting to get my life back together again...I'm headed back to university this fall (i had to take last year off, obviously) i'm working again, still in physio (which is going generally really well,) i'm driving agian, starting to go out a bit more w/ my friends again...you know? just trying to get back to a normal life. For the past week and a half i was on vacation w/ my family. We went to Hawaii, the big island and kauai. I started feeling sort of depressed when we get to kauai, i'm not really sure why, i just didn't really feel right. It wasn't a big thing though, i just didn't feel in a very good mood. We got home on Monday the 7th in the morning, after an all night flight. Obviously, i was drained as shit that day, so i just kind of layed around the house most of the day. I wasn't able to sleep really well at night, i couldn't sleep, at all. I was just restless, icouldn't turn my mind off, and i felt again, bleak and just sorta, blah. I ended up falling asleep at about 4:30am, and getting about 2 hours of sleep before i had to get up. On Tuesday, i had a meeting with my rec therapist, as well as wound specialists at the Hospital. We talked a bit about how my life is mostly dominated by work, school, physio, and sleep. she gave me an assignment to do about liesure. I was supposed to go to work on tuesday, but i just didn't feel like going...i just felt really bleak about it. So i stayed home. My supervisor called me in the afternoon, inquiring how my vacation was. She asked me to go on a field assigment to some little town about 30km out side of the city, (i'd been working out of the office there before, helping out a bit) i said sure, and called the crew leader out there to figure out a plan. she never called me back. I fell asleep in the afternoon, slept for about 4 hours and taht was it. When it came time to goto bed, i couldn't sleep again, same sort of restless, blah shit. I ended up reading magazines for a few hours until i felt tired enough to drop, and i got maybe 3 hours of sleep. This morning i felt like shit, exhausted and generally upset, and apathetic about the day. I had physio at around 8 am at the hospital (like i usually do) and didn't go to work again, i just layed around the house, and didn't even really feel like doing anything. My mom came home to make me lunch, but ran out of time, so she gave me some cash to go buy something...i didn't even feel like getting anything, so i didn't bother eating. and now, here i am. I just feel like i'm falling into a cycle again, i feel apathetic and that i just don't care or feel like doing anything, rather than sleeping. I enjoy my job (sort of) i get like, 700+ a week easy (and for a random desk job that i just applied for from the paper, that's really fucking good...) but i just don't feel like doing anything right now. so, what should i be doing here? Any replies are appreciate... Thanks -Darren Cliffs: Read what i wrote...if you can't. fine. Feeling depressed again, and unsure of what to do.