SRS Feeling like shit today. Friend pointed out a nice flaw I have last night.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Swak, Mar 5, 2007.

  1. Swak

    Swak Artificially known as ObsoleteAsian

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2004
    Messages:
    18,996
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chatsworth, California
    Not sure even where to take it, but today I have felt like crap. Maybe its because its Monday and I had trouble sleeping and am tired. But really last night for some reason one of my lady friends started showing some anger to me last night while talking. She kept tearing at the issue that when she was out here time that I was very quiet and seemed pist off the whole time. The issue I guess really isn't that time but when she questioned me. I am not even aware of what I said but she came forward with saying some mean comments about me, which didn't bother me. Which was her main point. Anytime she would ask me something personal I would answer or somehow word my answer to be so vague and change the topic everytime. In turn she just said that she is going to say whatever since she knows that I don't care and really am not ingesting what she is asking or questioning. Which I guess was good cause I feel retarded about it now, but know its an on going issue with me. Sorry if that lil spec of shit I wrote above made any sense. I just needed to write something out.
     
  2. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2006
    Messages:
    562
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    Well, why are you like this?

    Don't want to open up to someone?
     
  3. Skeletor

    Skeletor Guest

    it seems like even in your post you want to be as vague as possible haha... Opening up and allowing people to see what's going on is a GOOD thing, don't be afraid of it. If you keep everything on the inside and never tell people how you feel then nobody will ever really like you, and I think it already says that you don't like yourself.


    Change will never come by locking up your problems and ignoring the things you don't like about yourself.
     
  4. Gregsaidthat

    Gregsaidthat "Individuality is the new conformity"

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2006
    Messages:
    562
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Wisconsin
    That's real talk!
     
  5. Swak

    Swak Artificially known as ObsoleteAsian

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2004
    Messages:
    18,996
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Chatsworth, California
    I completly agree that my issue of locking up is probably the greatest thing in my way. I am just stuck in this zone where I want to remedy myself but it seems when i try it just isnt' working.. Even my friend I was talking to last night, she literally tried to piss me off just to get some sort of emotion out of me.

    I even have trouble finding out what is pissing me off daily. Lately I have been trying to dig into myself and find moments that have caused or built up to this, such as through out my life my step father "business man" raised me. I always looked up and felt like being like him someday, well recently I came to a harsh wake up that I do not want to be anything like him. He has trouble working with his family, he treats us like assets of some branch of business. I don't believe in any of his business concepts or morals. Especially on how to run a business. I guess this change kind of offset my long term dream to be as succesful as my (step) father. Which as the white curtain came off I realized I wanted nothing like the real side of it. Maybe its the knowing of feeling lost. I have done everything I wanted at to young of an age almost. I already own my own property, make well enough money. Stable in the sense of that I could live my life repeating the same shit everyday. I guess maybe nothing feels upcoming. What else do I have to follow for, age 55 so i can get senior discount at dennies?.... Maybe its cause my goals feel so weak. The only goals that keep me smiling are the ones on the side, my eek sticker project with other stickers, my designs with partner, some upcoming comic work. Djing.. But they don't show life changing answers. Something that keeps me sane day to day.
     

Share This Page