SRS Feeling helpless.

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Silverwolf90, Oct 13, 2007.

  1. Silverwolf90

    Silverwolf90 New Member

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    My best friend is suffereing from depression. I though he had his ways of coping (poetry, music, writing) but I've never seen him in such a depressed state that he's been in as of late. Apparently he cried for the first time in 5 years today. And that really scared me alot, knowing him.

    I've been quite worried about him, and I've been talking with our friends about it and what we should do, what we can do. In any case, now he thinks that I care more about gossiping than what he actually feels and that I haven't been there for him. :hs: Of course this is not true at all. I havn't been trying to comfort him that much because I haven't seen him often at school anymore. And when I'm around him I'm different because I'm worried about him. And he feels that other people have been there for him, unlike me, because they haven't changed how they act around him.. However, those people aren't aware of his depression at the moment. And that kinda hurts that he'd accuse me like that, however I'm sure this is just part of the depression and I'm not thinking too much of it.

    His mom is gone for the weekend, but I made sure to tell him to go see a shrink when she gets back.

    I just feel so helpless, 1) because he thinks i've turned my back on him 2) because he must feel so awful right now, and I don't know what the hell I should do.

    Could use some advice. :hs:
     
  2. Animall0versist

    Animall0versist New Member

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    I think it sounds like he needs a counciler
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Suggest to him that he sees a theraphist, and goes working out, along with finding a support group to talk to, also tell him that you are always there for him, show him websites for help , like here or www.enotalone.com just e-mail this or that website to him.
     
  4. Silverwolf90

    Silverwolf90 New Member

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    I told him to go see a therapist, I don't know if he wants to. He's always like "I have my ways to cope." He already works out, support group might be a good idea though.
     
  5. Seeders

    Seeders OT Supporter

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    i dont think a therapist or a professional is ideal for this situation. I think he just needs someone to talk to, yet I dont think he'll initiate. Its going to be awkward, but just be firm in telling him that he needs to talk with you because you're worried.

    I was in the same boat as you once, and when my friends and I finally got the kid to spill his guts, he took his shirt off and revealed a chest full of deep cuts, and he said they were also on his thighs. We waited too long to avoid that physical damage, but after that he has recovered. He's had a girlfriend for the past few years and seems happier than I am right now.
     
  6. Silverwolf90

    Silverwolf90 New Member

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    Today, he told me he felt great and that everything is fine. I don't know if this is the case, he could just be pretending to do so in order for everyone to stop caring. :hs:

    I just wish his parents would come home so I can talk with them about getting him help.

    I told him he needed help and he was like "How dare you tell me what I need" and "I know whats best for me." I think I'll have to push him into it.
     
  7. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    Uhh it sounds like you're getting way too much into his business. Don't talk to his parents about his problems. If he wanted them to know he would have prolly told them.
     
  8. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Well its not really that, its a real big stigmitized taboo , to tell your parents about stuff like that, people like that do cry out for help, but in another way. Its definitly a good thing to tell the parents, he might not like it, but its better then being too late and him committing suicide.
     
  9. Silverwolf90

    Silverwolf90 New Member

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    I'm 100% sure his parents would support him. He's been to a srhink before when his parents got divorced, but he told me he just pretended to be happy to get out of there.

    He does have a good friend who's probably bipolar, and when he talked to his dad about it he told him to "stop being a little bitch and shut the fuck up." I think this may have just given him another excuse not to tell his parents.

    But, even if he hates me forever because of it, I'll know I did the right thing if I tell his parents (if he chooses not to).
     
  10. Silverwolf90

    Silverwolf90 New Member

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    He's my best friend, he's always been there for me. He'd do the same thing for me and I'm sure of it.
     
  11. konrad109

    konrad109 New Member

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    Has he said anything about suicide? Only thing you mention is that he cried. Thats NOT that serious. He shouldn't feel like if he cries the whole world has to know about it. If he mentions suicide, then fuck yeah tell his parents. Telling his parents all about his problems will destroy his trust in you. Unless he mentions suicide or you see him just getting worse and worse, I don't see why you should spread his problems to more people since he already mentioned he feels like you're gossiping about him.

    I think you need to just act normal around him and quit fussing just because he cried a bit, which even the toughest guys might need to do sometimes.
     
    Last edited: Oct 14, 2007
  12. Silverwolf90

    Silverwolf90 New Member

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    He's told me the thought crossed his mind briefly. However, I think I convinced him to tell his parents about it. SO hopefully this will work out.
     

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