Feeling guilty...

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Canuckistan, Apr 29, 2005.

  1. Canuckistan

    Canuckistan New Member

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    Well my g/f and I have been dating for a little bit over a year now, but 2-3 months into the relationship in the summer, i visited my buddy out of town and had some liquor with some girls that he knows. Needless to say we palyed sex dice. No feelings were involved, it was just a game, but i still feel bad bout it. Was jsut things like kiss neck/boobs, lick etc. Nothing bellow the belt. I still feel guilty tho.

    Should I tell her, or just keep hiding it from her? :hs:
     
  2. badlizzykay

    badlizzykay Guest

    i would let it slide and not tell her...only because you were new into the relationship at the time. just as long as you dont mess around anymore.
     
  3. Canuckistan

    Canuckistan New Member

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    nope, that was the only time and immediately after i felt like complete crap
     
  4. TotalEclipse02

    TotalEclipse02 OT Supporter

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    dude don't tell her its in the past, you didn't do anything worse, and the fact you know its wrong now probably means you won't do it in the future. Telling her now could possibly make a lot of problems for something you did in the past and already feel bad about.

    It could also break her trust when you are trustworthy now
     
  5. lilceez112

    lilceez112 New Member

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    dont tell her. i am sure she has done the same thing.
     
  6. BoypussY

    BoypussY game over.

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    dont tell her
     
  7. Seoulmate

    Seoulmate New Member

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    don't tell her...and try to get over these guilty feelings before you accidentally spill it. you made a mistake, you learned from it, you'll never do anything like that again, so stop beating yourself up for it. you're probably one of the good guys considering you didn't have sex with someone else when you were in such a new relationship.
     
  8. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    i would tell her. she deserves to know that she is dating someone that would do that in the relationship. i know you feel guilty and most likely wont do it again, but that is still unacceptable :hs:

    if this was a girl who did it, all of OT would call her a filthy whore and tell her to confess. :squint:
     
  9. huntz0r

    huntz0r New Member

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    I tend to agree here. Just come clean and ask for her forgiveness, it won't be easy, but if you want her trust it's best to be honest. Imagine if she somehow found out later - secrets are made to be spilled - that would bite you in the ass hard.

    And for god's sake do not get defensive if she reacts poorly. You deserve it, so take it like a man. I've been on the other end of this kind of thing, and I was not happy about it.
     
  10. Mojo

    Mojo New Member

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    IMO dont tell her. those kinds of actions arent serious enough to be bitching and moaning about.

    if you feel guilty, then their will be a time or maybe not, where she will kiss a guys neck or w.e. then when that happens, call it even. but if shes a good gf, then just keep it to yourself. go ask your best buddies, family, ppl who u trust if you should be guilty or not. most will say its no biggie. you make it seem like someone passed away which shouldnt be like that. chill back and dont think about it. do something for her is the best advice i know of.
     
  11. kai-li

    kai-li New Member

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    DON'T tell her.

    You should realize that telling her actually makes you a selfish prick because you are telling her to make YOURSELF feel better. And you feeling better makes her feel worse.

    Live with the guilt dude thats your punishment, you shouldn't have been playing with the girls. Don't blame the alcohol either man, if you were able have enough sense to play the dice then you still had enough to say no too.
     
  12. The Scientist

    The Scientist New Member

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    How could you not tell her? If you really care about her, don't limit her actions. Give her the right to choose if she loves you enough to ignore it, or she feels she wants different for herself and moves on. Love is not selfish. So don't be that way and do what works for YOU.
     
  13. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

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    Thats a selfish fucking explination.
    Tell her.
     
  14. kai-li

    kai-li New Member

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    But its not selfish. He feels guilty and I am assuming that he isn't going to do it again. And you know when you really think about it, it was a small thing... yes, cheating is cheating and the boy did wrong, but he didn't go out with another women, start a relationship with another women or have sex with another women. And don't forget he was so new into the relationship when it happened.

    It was wrong of him to do, but two wrongs don't make a right. In this case his girlfriend's ignorance should be preserved. Why should she feel awful too?

    How old is the original poster? You'll see these things the older you get.
     
  15. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

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    Telling the truth is NOT wrong.
     
  16. Seoulmate

    Seoulmate New Member

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    little indiscretions like his don't need telling. what will come out of it besides lost of trust and hurt feelings? not everything is black and white where telling the truth is right and not fessing up is wrong.
     
  17. Canuckistan

    Canuckistan New Member

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    Thanks for backing this man. In my eyes it was simply just a game, no feelings involved. Yes i screwed up, and i've been beating myself up bout it on and off for around 10 months. Telling her will just ruin her trust for me and make her feel like crap.

    To answer your question, im a senior in high school.
     
  18. kronik85

    kronik85 New Member

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    in my opinion, don't tell her.

    there are some things that although shouldn't matter, do. in this case, it was a game (hell the fact that you were drunk should suffice) and nothing more. in the long run, this "indescretion" if you even want to call it that, is absolutely nothing and should be treated as such.

    if my girlfriend was drunk and some drunk guy kissed her, would i really want ot know about it? no. but if i found out about it, i'd want to beat his ass and would probably be a lil upset at her.

    if she was making out with a guy while drunk, then i would want to know about it. smalll things like this game you played mean nothing, and would only make her upset when she doesn't need to be.

    if my girlfriend played this card game drunk with a buncha friends, would i care? yes. should i? no. it'd only start a useless fight.
     
  19. Canuckistan

    Canuckistan New Member

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    Thanks man.

    At the end of the game i felt like complete shit but this girl still wanted more. She even outfrontly said she wanted to have sex, but i knew what i did already was already way too much, so obviously i turned her down. I made a stupid mistake and i know i wont do anyhting like this again, so y ruin her trust of me when i know nothing would ever happen again?!
     
  20. kai-li

    kai-li New Member

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    Thats exactly what I was trying to say.

    And what I meant by asking you how old you are, it seems when you are new to relationships and young you want things to be pure, to always air the truth etc. But when you get older you realize that relationships survive just fine and maybe even better on smaller half truths... You know you aren't getting the whole picture, but most adults are fine with this. Now I don't mean the big things-- like being forbade to go to a titty club and going anyways or something like that, but smaller, "yes honey I did it two days ago (runs out and does it now)" kinda thing. Umm, I don't think I made sense here at all, I hope someone knows what I mean

    Your infraction was small at an early part of your relationship. The fact that you feel so guilty about it-- and at such a young age really says a lot about you. Must guys your age would have had sex with the girl and NOT felt bad about it all.
     
  21. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

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    It sounds like you just wanted to someone to tell you what you already think, not what the best option is.
    I could have sex with someone and not have emotions attached, does that mean I can do that if I'm in a relaitonship with someone? No.
    How the fuck is she going to trust you if she finds out about this from some place else? Stranger shit has happend.

    This is petty. If growing up means feeling okay with deceiving someone you care about, "I hope I die before I get old."
     
  22. StuDLei

    StuDLei Death before Dishonor

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    Personally, I would have to tell, but that IS JUST ME. I couldnt live with something like that...but to be honest I would probably have NEVER done that..honestly. I can see both sides of the story. If the situation was reversed and my gf had done this and decided to tell me about it...it would suck...i might get really pissed and angry and hurt at first. But if she was sorry and I knew it I would definately forgive her for something like this. Definately. I am a very forgiving person. I personally would like to hear about it if it was her..hope that she was truly sorry..and if she was I would forgive her. The best thing may be to listen to what others have said and forget about it. Everyone is different. Try to get past it, but if it keeps eating at you, sit her down and tell her. Whoever said that you telling her is selfish because youd be telling her to make yourself feel better, I think is way off. I totally disagree with that. Out.
     
  23. WeRdToYoMoThA

    WeRdToYoMoThA Girlies on Standby, Waiting to say Hi

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    if my gf did that, i would drop her like a bad habit :hs:
     
  24. Canuckistan

    Canuckistan New Member

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    Thanks. I feel guilty because shes an amazing girl and our relationship is awesome, its just that i really screwed up once, and its hung over my head for a while even tho it was a pretty small thing to do.

    Pretty much
     
  25. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

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    You've screwed up once before?
    Refusing sex only makes you slightly less of an ass, but you are an ass regardless.
     

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