SRS feeling blue

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by J52k2, May 1, 2006.

  1. J52k2

    J52k2 New Member

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    I am looking at all these other peoples pictures on facebook, like friends i thought i was really good friends with and i just realised that I am pretty much a loner and always will be. I have tried to not be so isolated in the past year and a half and it has had its up and downs. For a while i actually hooked up with a girl in the back of a van at this big tailgate party. But then shit went back down after that and I went back to loner mode. I dont know what it is its most likely a mixture of things. Unhealthly relationships with this other chick that mindfucked me constantly. She would always tell me she loved me and needed me but then she would go and be with some other guy. I just couldnt take that shit. I just stopped thinking about her and I have almost gotten over her. My mom is getting remarried to a black guy and his dogs fucking bark at me nonstop. I guess i feel like my space is being invaded since my mom has been single since i was 7, so like 11 years of just me her and my brother. I'm not a racist, I just dont like this guy. He tries to act like he knows me or something and tries to act like my dad. I need to bust out the line "YOURE NOT MY FATHER" but im too much of a pussy to do it. My brother is autistic and somewhat mentally retarted, so he has the mindset of about a 4 year old. This guy does NOT know how to care for my brother at all. He treats him like a dog, snapping his fingers at him. It pisses me the fuck off. One time I saw him hit my brother, and he said it was "spanking". I was like FUCK THAT and fucking took out the metal bat. I never made it back inside though.
    Ive been becoming more of a stoner again, starting to toke more than once a week. Back in the day when things were alright I would smoke about once a month at a party or something. Ive also now become addicted to ciggarettes and they are pretty much how i survive the days i feel like shit.

    Sorry, accidently hit submit.
    So the main thing i wanted to get out is that i feel like i have no network of friends that really care at all. all my old friends are just lame kids that play WOW all day and its the only thing they talk about. I fucking hate them now. I probally only have about 3 "good" friends. Ones that would actually listen to what I have to say and give me input on what i should do. Im not trying to be mr populartiy, but i feel really depressed about not having anyone to hang out with on the weekends and just getting stoned alone in my basement. any thoughts at all ?
     
  2. auero

    auero word.

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    I know what you're going through. I hit a point like this i my life. I've always been shy. It takes a hard time or situation to find out who your true friends are and I recently did that. You may have only 3 true friends but thats all you'll need. Talk to your friends. Tell them what is going on. Let them help you... even try to open up to just a regular friend. I've done that to realize that "Wow... you really do care about me."

    Quit smoking period. It won't help you at all. It may only help you for a few hours or a night but it won't solve your problems.
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    You need to get a grip out on your situation, you know that song ' i can make my life hell, or i can try to make things better? ' well, all the sigarettes,alcohol and other garbage are only symptom supressors ,they fuck up your life, and you know that's basically your life story,and my advice is this.

    'Trashcan every piece of garbage/person/event that fucks up your life'

    Men tend to sit in a room and cry unable to move on even for years,when a girl hurts them emotionally. But why did you go into a relationship expecting it to work out in the first case? Reality is that a woman can pack her bag and leave any day.

    A relationship is like a ship setting out to the ocean, it involves risks but can lead to new horizons. Your fear of getting hurt in a new relationship is disabling you to move on with your life, i advice you to pick up the pieces of your broken heart, glue them back together ,and move on with your life.

    Your life must involve structure to keep your world together , wether its a damaged structure or not, one must make repairs, whatever you do in life, don't throw in the 'towel' that's the worst you can do. Its not about wether a relationship works out or not in the end, its the ability to move on in life what really counts. Although i would wish upon you good experiences, it doesn't mean that you should put your life on halt if something goes wrong.

    Can you build your house on quicksand? Meaning you need a stable foundation in your life, if you don't want to drown. Things and people you can count on, but most of all taking the power of your life back into understanding that its in your own hands. Life is what you make of it. Let those who waste their lives be, and do not invite them into your current life stage.

    You must understand your 'position' here that you could convince your mom that this person is hitting your bro, and that she should get rid of him as soon as possible, if she refuses say something ' don't you love your son? he's getting hit by him and your letting it passing by you, when will you understand what kind of horrible person he is?

    I would definitly try to do some form of education, and get some grades and diploma's that can get you out of the shit that you are currently in. Remember nothing in the universe can make you happy exept loving and helping other people, that will be all.
     
  4. dave steel

    dave steel My Kung Fu is the best.

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    Stop getting stoned. Some day a woman will be your best friend and wife. Friends will come and go, but she will be a part of you.
     
  5. J52k2

    J52k2 New Member

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    thanks guys, you have really helped me a lot.
     

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