I am looking at all these other peoples pictures on facebook, like friends i thought i was really good friends with and i just realised that I am pretty much a loner and always will be. I have tried to not be so isolated in the past year and a half and it has had its up and downs. For a while i actually hooked up with a girl in the back of a van at this big tailgate party. But then shit went back down after that and I went back to loner mode. I dont know what it is its most likely a mixture of things. Unhealthly relationships with this other chick that mindfucked me constantly. She would always tell me she loved me and needed me but then she would go and be with some other guy. I just couldnt take that shit. I just stopped thinking about her and I have almost gotten over her. My mom is getting remarried to a black guy and his dogs fucking bark at me nonstop. I guess i feel like my space is being invaded since my mom has been single since i was 7, so like 11 years of just me her and my brother. I'm not a racist, I just dont like this guy. He tries to act like he knows me or something and tries to act like my dad. I need to bust out the line "YOURE NOT MY FATHER" but im too much of a pussy to do it. My brother is autistic and somewhat mentally retarted, so he has the mindset of about a 4 year old. This guy does NOT know how to care for my brother at all. He treats him like a dog, snapping his fingers at him. It pisses me the fuck off. One time I saw him hit my brother, and he said it was "spanking". I was like FUCK THAT and fucking took out the metal bat. I never made it back inside though. Ive been becoming more of a stoner again, starting to toke more than once a week. Back in the day when things were alright I would smoke about once a month at a party or something. Ive also now become addicted to ciggarettes and they are pretty much how i survive the days i feel like shit. Sorry, accidently hit submit. So the main thing i wanted to get out is that i feel like i have no network of friends that really care at all. all my old friends are just lame kids that play WOW all day and its the only thing they talk about. I fucking hate them now. I probally only have about 3 "good" friends. Ones that would actually listen to what I have to say and give me input on what i should do. Im not trying to be mr populartiy, but i feel really depressed about not having anyone to hang out with on the weekends and just getting stoned alone in my basement. any thoughts at all ?