SRS Feeling blue v.I need some help mang

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by GT40, Oct 24, 2005.

  1. GT40

    GT40 lol

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    Ok, I've never done this before so bear with me as it may be unorganized and what not.

    Please don't flame/trash talk. I know this isn't the main forum so hopefully I won't have to deal with those posts. :x:

    I've been depressed for a while and recently has it gotten worse and I really want to get it worked out. I have a appointment to see a psychologist Thursday.

    School - I'm not doing well in school. I want to do good but I have no energy to go to class/study causing me to do bad. When I see my bad grades I get more down. I don't want to upset my parents because they are spending all this money to get me through school and I got bad grades last semester. I have no idea what I want to do when I grow up. I enjoy working and making money. It seems I just want to work and make money and not go to school, but I don't know what job I could make a living at without some form of higher education. I'd love to be an actor or racecar driver but hey, what kid doesn't. And when I'm lost with no career path it gets me down more. I want to be a mechanic which involves going to a tech school. I don't know how to tell my parents that I want to go to a tech school because they signed a year long lease here at school. I would enjoy more hands on experience other than college.

    Which leads me to my next part,
    GF - I dont want to tell my gf that I want to go to a tech school because she is graduating early and coming here next semester. All she talks about is how she is excited about how we are gonna be close. I don't know if I really love her as much as before though. She complains about all these problems and sometimes I just wish I could have a conversation that didn't involve me not doing something right, her family being fucked up, etc. She doesn't like any girls it seems like. I can't really meet people or anything without it causing some sort of problem. I can't go out with it causing a rift. I called and wished a old friend of mine happy birthday this morning and it was kind of bitter sweet, because I always liked hanging out with her and what not. Just makes me think about what else I could have. I can't really get the nerve to break up with my gf though because I have her cat here, we've gone out for almost 10 months now, and I want to still be friends and for her not to hate me. I enjoy spending time with her but sometimes I just think it'd be for the better to end the relationship.

    Other tid bits
    -My brother picked up smoking for some reason, even though he was always against it. My grandpa passed away a few weeks ago and he got real sick from lung cancer. It bothers me. He claims it's not a habit but it's every day/all the time thing.
    -I put blame on myself all the time. Mostly about my grades and depression.
    -I have no interest in doing things I enjoy. ex: drawing, going out, drinking
    -I can't really make up my mind. I change my mind on each thing everyday.
    -I feel like I'm going no where in life. I never really think about suicide anymore but I do often wish I could wake up with a different life or everything would be "normal".
    -Maybe these don't seem big problems to you, they are to me and I'm really down and out because of everything.

    I'll post anything I missed when I think of it or if you guys ask about it.

    Even if you guys can't give some sort of help/support, I just needed to vent. Thanks

    :hs:
     
  2. GT40

    GT40 lol

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    I seem to get similar answers similar to these on online "depression quizes" so I think it'll be good to go to the psychologist this week. :hs:
     
  3. Darketernal

    Darketernal Watch: Aria The Origination =)

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    Care,for all is like a bonsai tree
    Choices create reality. In order to improve your life you have to look at the elements that you do not desire. My father always said where there chopping sparks are bound to fly around.

    You have to make some drastic changes to your life style and start doing things that make you happy.

    Make the money that your parents invest into your study the reason for why you should succeed, if you don't have energy to do it for yourself then succeed for them.You dont goto school for school, you goto school for money. Make that your end goal and your reason why you work hard for on school. Remember school is only a few years of your life, you can work the rest of it, so work hard on getting good grades and let nothing stop you. School is actually more an endurance test then a brief evaluation. Its like a walk thru the desert but there is an oasis in the end and you have to do anything in your power to reach that oasis.

    If you don't sleep in a orderly manner (lets say getting 8,5 hour of sleep) in a constant basis you won't have the energy to cope with the problems, so make sure you go to bed early and have a regular sleeping pattern if not already.

    I want to tell you that i am fairly sure that your girlfriend loves you a lot. However i want you to know that i believe that your dreams are combinable with your gf. You can do all the engineering courses you want. AFTER YOU COMPLETED the course you done now. Jumping from this to that is highly unadvisable. First get your diploma, then go do whatever you want because you can always fall back on that diploma as where when you jump out you can fall back on nothing. Complete what you start.

    The only thing that disturbs me is that your gf doesn't want you to spend time with your friends, if she complains tell her that she is your gf and she has her friends who she sees and that you respect that and that you have friends that you see and that you hope she will respect that too,that she needs to give you the space within certain boundries that still enables you to see old friends without her freaking out on you. Its been 10 months so i gues she is still in a type of 'jealous' phase in which she wants you for her own. So basically try to calm her down saying its only a birthday of a friend, and ask her if she didn't goto a birthday too lately,and ask her if she would you stop her from going to a birthday? And tell her to relax,hopefully she won't go psycho in such a fucked up way that she doesn't let you go, if she doesn't only then its time to let her go, because if she doesn't understand that then there's no reason why you should stay with her.

    -My brother picked up smoking for some reason, even though he was always against it. My grandpa passed away a few weeks ago and he got real sick

    Nag to him until he stops, tell him if he wants to be like grandpa dying from lungcancer?

    -I put blame on myself all the time. Mostly about my grades and depression.

    Get rid of all of the negativity from your life, say to yourself ' i do not enjoy negativity in my life ' and only fill your life with positive constructive things.

    -I have no interest in doing things I enjoy. ex: drawing, going out, drinking

    The whole counselling thing is a good idea, you should tell your gf that you are depressed with your whole situation and that you will undertake counselling

    -I can't really make up my mind. I change my mind on each thing everyday.

    Make productive choices, start creating something small, accomplish tiny things ,keep being productive and become a mechanic.

    -I feel like I'm going no where in life. I never really think about suicide
    anymore but I do often wish I could wake up with a different life or everything would be "normal".

    Doing nothing results in nothing, i don't think you have understood that well enough that you need to produce something substantial with productive choises.


    -Maybe these don't seem big problems to you, they are to me and I'm really down and out because of everything.


    The only thing in the universe that makes you happy is love ,and helping other people out, maby you can combine your engineering background into producing something substantial for the positive benefit of mankind.
     

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