I'm just going to throw this in point form because there's a ton of information and I don't feel like writing a book: Been depressed since 18 (25 now). Went on meds then, combined with my migrane pills they vitoed the pill and I got pregnant, had an abortion, screwed my head up even more and stopped taking the meds. still with the same guy, dating almost 8 years. 6 months ago I had finally had enough of feeling depressed and decided I was going to drive into a bridge on my way home and insteed left work at noon to go back to the doctor and back on meds doc sends me to counseling counsler tells me I don't need counseling, I need to start living my life, that I need to get married and have a kid, and most importantly get off the meds i was just put back on (for severe depression and another for anxiety and to sleep) SO and i agree that we should get married. we'd already bought a condo, are looking to move into a house, both have good jobs (bring in about $120k a year, not a fortune, but enough to start a comfortable life / family) wedding date set for march 8, 1 month from now get myself off anti-depressents over christmas, try to ween off anxiety meds wake up this morning, after constant fights with family over the wedding and quiet reserve from the SO, ready to drive right into a bridge again I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm sitting at my desk, at work, shaking because I feel like I'm losing my mind. The BF says he's supportive but more often then not just ignores the entire situation. All I need is a hug some times you know. I love him, and I know that I could never find anyone better, but sometimes I just feel like he isn't there for me and I don't know if it's because I'm being irrational or because he really isn't. fuck, I just need to get my ass home and into bed...I think I may just do that.