SRS Feel like I'm losing my mind

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by oscarkat, Feb 5, 2008.

  1. oscarkat

    oscarkat Happiness is a long hard road. OT Supporter

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    I'm just going to throw this in point form because there's a ton of information and I don't feel like writing a book:

    • Been depressed since 18 (25 now). Went on meds then, combined with my migrane pills they vitoed the pill and I got pregnant, had an abortion, screwed my head up even more and stopped taking the meds.
    • still with the same guy, dating almost 8 years. 6 months ago I had finally had enough of feeling depressed and decided I was going to drive into a bridge on my way home and insteed left work at noon to go back to the doctor and back on meds
    • doc sends me to counseling
    • counsler tells me I don't need counseling, I need to start living my life, that I need to get married and have a kid, and most importantly get off the meds i was just put back on (for severe depression and another for anxiety and to sleep)
    • SO and i agree that we should get married. we'd already bought a condo, are looking to move into a house, both have good jobs (bring in about $120k a year, not a fortune, but enough to start a comfortable life / family)
    • wedding date set for march 8, 1 month from now
    • get myself off anti-depressents over christmas, try to ween off anxiety meds
    • wake up this morning, after constant fights with family over the wedding and quiet reserve from the SO, ready to drive right into a bridge again
    I have no idea what I'm doing. I'm sitting at my desk, at work, shaking because I feel like I'm losing my mind. The BF says he's supportive but more often then not just ignores the entire situation. All I need is a hug some times you know. I love him, and I know that I could never find anyone better, but sometimes I just feel like he isn't there for me and I don't know if it's because I'm being irrational or because he really isn't.

    :wtc: fuck, I just need to get my ass home and into bed...I think I may just do that.
     
  2. Exiled

    Exiled New Member

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    Do you excersize? Maybe you should do that, you seem very tense and emotionally stressed which working out fixes.
     
  3. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    That must have been incredibly painful. While I'm not female I've endured seeing one partner have an abortion (behind my back, and claimed it was a miscarriage), and another partner who really did have a miscarriage. These events affected me deeply but did not present themselves right away.

    Can you tell me what you think may be causing the depression you originally presented with? When you received medication was counseling in conjunction recommended? What you've provided here is clear evidence of something exposed to trauma.

    It's a really awful feeling I think to endure that. I too experienced those feelings at one point. You made the right decision.

    Good, however you need a specific type of counselor familiar with your form of depression and the events you've encountered. Some therapists will not understand. You need psychoanalysis, and someone you can confide in and learn from as well.

    This is terribly unfortunate, and reflects -- coincidentally -- with exactly what I said. Your situation is not an easy fix, and that counselors advice was clearly not correct. At this time I would recommend you continue medication and seek counseling. However I have some ideas to help you find the correct type. Different therapists practice different techniques. It sounds like the type you encountered was a "Reality" therapist. They tend to be blunt, direct, and instructional. They tend to solve problems quickly and therapy is generally short, perhaps a few weeks or a couple months at most usually. They are useful in many respects but quite ineffective with deep seated circumstances that require lengthy therapy.

    Recommending Marriage, children and medication is actually completely in the opposite direction of what you actually need.

    All three create stress, which compounded with the issues you presented will lead to distress, which of course will likely result in a breakdown.

    At least the financial burden isn't there on top of these other things.

    This is quite a scary thing given where you presently are.

    This will inevitably lead to clinical depression, and panic attacks. A sense of being overwhelmed and probably disabled at times.

    And here we are, just where I figured you'd end up. The fact is, the advice you were given was flat-out incorrect. You require long term care, and medication to help suppress symptoms until the root of what's going on with you is discovered. I do not know the depth of or causes of your depression. If a physician recommended a counselor then I highly suspect psychotherapy is necessary to help you uproot some serious things, which are triggering the anxiety and depression.

    I've seen that pattern a lot in partners of those suffering like you are. It isn't a sign of a lack of affection or love usually, but rather a sign of being overwhelmed by a particular problem that he has no understanding or knowledge of. In other words he possibly feels powerless and thus is. You would know if this were true, because he likely would say something along those lines.

    Unfortunately I don't know the exact answer. I do know you'll need help finding a counselor who "actually can help" you.

    Is that what you do? Sleep when depressed? Is this a common theme?
     
  4. METALLlC BLUE

    METALLlC BLUE New Member

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    " Researching online is a good idea. I usually write up a list of about 3-5 questions that matter most to me.

    You can use your local yellow pages also and just pick names that are within a radius to your location. It's easy to find one if you just ask some basic questions and keep that paper with you. Usually they pick up their own phone. If they don't and some one else does, ask that person if you can speak to the counselor. If you can't ask the office staff those same questions.

    Since you can weed through a lot of names and call a lot of people, you can record little notes about each one you call. Then you can narrow your list down to like 3 or so you liked via phone. Then you go see them. You might strike gold on the first. My method helps a lot of people because it puts them in control of their own choice.

    Questions to ask:

    1: Do you take my medical insurance? If no, how much per session?
    2: What therapy do you practice as your primary? (Family, Cognitive Behavioral, Psychoanalysis and what specific ailment (PTSD, Bi-Polar, Chronic Illness).
    3: How long have you been in practice, and could you help a patient like me? Explain to them your situation concisely."

    Special Note: I posted that in another thread.
     

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