feel bad.. but right decision?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by THoC, Jan 24, 2010.

  1. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    i feel like an ass but i feel like this is the right decision.

    my gf's mom sold her house and is looking for a place to live. at this time she has no place.

    i love my gf's mom. she's awesome. however she is VERY financially irresponsible. a big procrastinator. her only source of income is cutting hair at her home.

    her husband is an ass. never has a steady job and currently doesnt. he's basically like a 40 yr old child with no idea of the real world.

    her mom asked my gf if she could stay with us for a month while they found a place.


    my living situation. i bought the place. pay all the bills. (my gf lost her job and at this time is working making 8.50/hr so w. her bills she cannot afford to financially help me. prior to this she paid me a set amount. at this time she makes up for it by being in charge of all house chores).
    ** gave background incase some of you wanted it to make a decision on what you would do.


    i told my gf that they could not move in. if it was just her mom i would not mind as much, although i would still be on the fence.

    im certain that what will happen is that one month will turn into 2, into 3, etc... neither are motivated enough to make me think that they would actively look for a place and be out in a month. plus they have two kids.
    i dont want 4 extra people living in my home for who knows how long.

    i even asked my gf why her mom didnt ask her mom. my gf explained that grandma has already told her no bc "i have bailed her out enough!".

    that made me feel even worse about it. but, at same time, makes me feel like id be right about her over staying her welcome.


    my point to my gf is that i would rather be an asshole and say no now then having to ask them to leave at end of month.

    i can already see the:

    "but just one more week!"

    "im sure we'll find another place soon!!"

    etc...

    either way i look like an ass. my gf initially called me selfish but after i explained her the whys she understood. but still, im sure she's not happy... it is her mom.


    thoughts? :hs:
     
  2. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    should this be elsewhere? i pretty much always post here and came straight to this forum.

    please move where appropriate if needed.
     
  3. Boosh Dag

    Boosh Dag Guest

    you did the right thing.
     
  4. XaPU!M

    XaPU!M Active Member

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    You did the right thing. 4 extra people is a lot. And if you are the only one paying the bills then you are entitled to make such decisions.
     
  5. Athlete218

    Athlete218 New Member

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    you did the right thing....

    i lived w/ my g/f and her sister moved in for a "couple weeks", which turned into a lot longer. She always said she didnt have money to help out on a bill or 2 (didnt ask for much) and yet she would come home w/ 10-12 new shirts for her boyfriend. she sleeped all day & watched cartoons.

    So, I ended up being an ass to her & it caused some major problems in mine & my girlfriends relationship. Ultimately, that was part of the reason our 6 year relationship fell apart, me being an ass.
     
  6. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    You did the right thing. No doubt about it.
     
  7. Toroweedeater99

    Toroweedeater99 Registered E-thug

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    If grandma bails you can bail. If they had a place already setup and just needed a place as a transition, cool. If there is a lot of bitching and whining just offer your help finding another place but as the breadwinner and head of household,you are going to have to say no.
     
  8. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    The responsibility of four other people is alot to take on especially when you have know assurance that they would be helping out with bills. I don't think you are in the wrong for saying no. How old are you and how long have you and your gf been dating?
     
  9. Falconer

    Falconer OT Supporter

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    You did the right thing.
     
  10. BlazinBlazer Guy

    BlazinBlazer Guy Witness to The De-Evolution of Mankind.

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    If her own mother bails on her, you have every right to say no and probably should say no.

    Besides, if they get turned away enough times by enough people, it might motivate them to actually do something about their situation. So you could be helping them out more by saying no than you would be by saying yes.
     
  11. SolidRanger

    SolidRanger New Member

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    You did the right thing. Even her own mother knows that she's a financial liability.

    I guarantee that them moving in would be anything but temporary. I've been in situations like this and the people basically just leech off of you until you finally kick them out.

    Just don't expect the parents to ever like you after this.
     
  12. Bacardi 151

    Bacardi 151 New Member

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    Such a shitty situation to be put in. You did the right thing though.
     
  13. Dahlia

    Dahlia Active Member

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    If they have been bailed out every time before now, hopefully this will smart them up that they can't do this shit anymore.
     
  14. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    :rofl: fucking freeloaders

    you did the right thing.
     
  15. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    im 32. weve been dating for almost 3 yrs. (there was a two month break up that was her choice).
     
  16. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    i didnt directly speak to her mom. my gf told her i said no. i have no idea how she told her this .... im sure the delivery of the message will make a difference on how im perceived by her mom.
     
  17. CorpseStreet

    CorpseStreet New Member

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    I find it kind of messed up your gf put you in the position of having to say no. IMO she shouldn't have asked you in the first place
     
  18. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    i thought that too at first.

    but if my role was reversed i think i would ask as well. she loves her mom a lot.
     
  19. ForgottenSpiral

    ForgottenSpiral Hope and Irony OT Supporter

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    Sounds like an f'd up family. No offense.
     
  20. iwishyouwerebeer

    iwishyouwerebeer you shut your cunt Moderator

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    Still super fucked up.

    My mom is my best friend, but I would NEVER in a million years just invite her to stay at YOUR house.
     
  21. GTLifter

    GTLifter Banned

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    they sold their house....where did the money go?
     
  22. MissKitty

    MissKitty If squats were easy they'd be called 'Your Mum' OT Supporter

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    Sometimes saying no is the best help you can give someone
     
  23. MossMan813

    MossMan813 New Member

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    This is what I was thinking. If they sold their house, shouldn't a question be, "Where are we going to live now?", and shouldn't that have been answered BEFORE the sale?
     
  24. erynne936

    erynne936 my av is a car, but i'm a girl. stop calling me b OT Supporter

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    you did the right thing. 4 extra people is a LOT of extra people in your home. especially if they are financially irresponsible and sold their house with no plan as far as where to go next? especially with 2 kids to take care of!
     
  25. THoC

    THoC New Member

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    she didnt. her mom asked her if she could stay at my place. my gf told her she would have to ask me bc "its his house".
     

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