SRS Family Problems

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Hazyheath, Mar 22, 2006.

  1. Hazyheath

    Hazyheath New Member

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    10 years ago my parents and I were in a bad car acciden that was almost fatal for my mother. We got a decent size settlement for it. My dad was working my my uncle (his brother) and the company needed some money. My mom loaned out a large amount, about 25,000 with a promisary note and everything. The company continued to degrade and they stopped paying my father. Being a family business my dad continued to work anyway. It started to be too much so he took small amounts of money to buy food and pay the rent. My uncle found out and fired my father. My uncle still said that he intended on paying us back. About 2 years later, we recieved a letter saying that the company sold the building. We assumed we were going to be getting the money. This was over a year and a half ago and we havent seen a penny.

    Thats only half the story. Two christmases ago, my father had a severe asthma attack and was put on a ventilator 3 days before christmas. He has been asthmatic since I was 4 so he periodically has had attacks but nothing like this. My mom had just cleaned and it was due to the bleach she used. He has never had a problem with it before and she always tells him before she does it since hes supposed to be careful around it. My mother is handicapped (partly due to the accident) so I had to take care of her and run back and forth to the hospital. I was extremely stressed. Christmas eve I normally go to my Uncle's house (same one as above). We were still on good terms with him and I needed some form of normality so I decided to go. My grandmother from out of state was there. Her and my aunt accused my mother of trying to kill my father right in front of me. I excused myself and told them i was tired and had to do stuff after that and just left. I was upset and didnt want my mother to see me upset so I just drove around for a while. When I did get home she could tell that something was wrong so I told her what had happened. She was furious and told my father after he was fully recovered. He spoke with her about it and apologized to him but never my me or my mother. I havent spoken to her since. About 6 months ago she pretty much made my father decide between me and my mother and his family. He decided to cut off all contact with them. We got our phone number changed and wont respond to or open letters since they upset my parents. They somehow got the idea that we moved and started sending stuff tomy other grandmother. The uncle has also called my aunt (my moms side) to try to gethim to call my grandmother. My dad is planning on sending a copy of the promisary note with the amount owed with interest to the entire family and a letter explaining exactly what happened and to leave me out of it.

    Im confused as to whether cutting them off is the right thing. What they did was wrong but then again they are my family and i dont want to regret it later on. I told my father I wouldnt object to talking to my grandmother like once or twice a year, I just dont feel its worth putting in effort for a good relationship if she just puts me and my mother down. My father disagrees that I should even give her that much since she would know too much about me from the conversations. Im just worried about regretting it. I just feel like im getting torn both ways and im confused. I hope this post made some sense. Its been building up for 10 years so its hard to get it all in.
     
  2. Easygo

    Easygo New Member

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    Wow that is a lot. I'll think about this for a day or two. How much was the settlement? Not specifically, but was $25,000 basically all of it, or $100,000, or one million? or ????

    A couple things: the $25,000 was a business arrangement. Your uncle should pay it back. Why hasn't he? You haven't really said.

    Does your uncle own his house? If he does, go to zillow.com and see what his house is worth and what he paid for it.

    Loaning money within family is always a trouble. It's one thing if your uncle can't pay it back because he doesn't have it, and if he doesn't have it why is that, and it's another if he's got the money and deliberately won't pay. If he's sitting on $100,000 equity in his house, not too unusual these days, that would be very interesting to know.

    If your uncle has $100,000 cash in the bank and he deliberately won't pay, that would make things very clear to me.

    How much in total did your father "take"? I think there's more to that part of the story.

    One first thought I have is that nobody should send an actual copy of the promissory note around to the family. That will start a real war in the family. This is only a first thought.

    How is your mom handicapped? How are you and your father, from that accident? How old is everyone here - you, your mom, father, uncle, grandparents, anyone I missed who is involved?
     
  3. Nightshade

    Nightshade New Member

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    simple response:

    this has no impact or influence on you, therefore it is none of your business!!

    good day!!
     
  4. Toasty

    Toasty Naked people have little or no influence on societ

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    While it's a sticky situation, $25k isn't something to just brush off. I wouldn't use it as a tool to be vindictive against a portion of your family, but a business transaction was made here and your parents had a reasonable expectation to get that money back.

    You might want to seek legal action. If you have copies of that promisary note that's one step. I'm not a lawyer so I don't know how that holds up in terms of being a legitimate contract. I think it holds.

    On the other hand, if your father can dig up receipts or bank records showing the few payments your uncle had made towards paying back that amount, I think demonstrating that your uncle had made some payments in the past is proof enough that he "accepted" the contract arrangement whether he signed anything or not.

    Or, if your father has some way to show either in writing or some kind of voice record of your uncle promising that he'd pay you guys back...then you're good too.

    Like someone else said, business is business. Once again I wouldn't use it as a way to get back at them for something, but I still think it's reasonable to expect that large sum of money back.
     

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