SRS Falling too hard/too fast

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by bitetobreakskinn, Nov 3, 2005.

  1. bitetobreakskinn

    bitetobreakskinn Blinky the Christmas Ghost

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    I've been dating this girl for about a month and a half now, we hung out about a month before we were "together", known her for a few months total.

    She's the first person I've felt safe to date in the past 2 years, due to a lot of personal issues after a long-term breakup. The thing is, I haven't felt safe/happy with anyone until now, and now that I'm really happy again, I feel like maybe I'm rushing through the steps in my head, because I think I could be in love with the girl.

    The fact I'm only a month into the relationship and feel "in love" kind of concerns me, and I feel like I'm getting too attached too quick. I don't know if she feels the exact same way as me, so I'm not just going to bring up "I love you" and hope for the best, because if she doesn't say it back, I don't know how I'll take it.

    Her and I go for lunch together almost every day (unless I work in the morning), I see her at work (we work together), and I started coming to pick her up at nights at work because she's "grounded" and isn't really allowed outside of the house other then work (We're both young, yes I know being grounded sounds retarded, lets leave this out of the advice).

    Anyone know if I'm rushing in too quick, if this is normal, etc? :hsd:
     
  2. page

    page New Member

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    If you feel rushed- then you're probably moving too quickly. If not, then its just fine. There's no "right" or "wrong" amount of time you have to be with/know someone before you fall in love.

    My boyfriend and I have been together 4 months. We live together and have talked about marriage multiple times, I even have the card of the jeweler he went to.

    We said I love you after 5 days, and he moved in with me after 2 months. I have never felt pressured or rushed the whole time I've known him/ got together with him. Things just fell into place right, and we're madly in love.

    Some may say we moved too fast, but, when you've found the one you want to be with forever, you just know.

    I guess I just got lucky this summer :love:
     
  3. bitetobreakskinn

    bitetobreakskinn Blinky the Christmas Ghost

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    It's not that I feel rushed by her, I just feel like I'm REALLY happy now, and it's pretty much all due to dating her. I'm just worried that what I think is really "special" to me, might just be her dating another guy :hs:
     
  4. page

    page New Member

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    Instead of worrying why don't you ask her about it?

    Communication is key. You can't go around wondering about stuff because it will only build up and end up causing a fight.
     
  5. GlassUser

    GlassUser send an email not a pm OT Supporter

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    Communication is they key to any successful relationship.

    Assuming she says she feels about the same, then think and analyze less and life and feel more.
     
  6. page

    page New Member

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    fucking :werd:
     
  7. DiggityDogg

    DiggityDogg Guest

    You never want to show your feelings to be so far more advanced than hers. You know where she stands, just don't let yourself get confused by where you "hope" she stands. You have been together a short amount of time and any talk about how serious you are this soon could be disasterous.

    Relax, be comfortable, and don't move at a pace faster than she is. If things are fine right now, and you are happy, then just let it go as is. No need to start getting all worked up about it. Keep going at the same pace she is. Trust me, if she wants to move faster and really likes you, she will bring up this conversation just like my girlfriend did.

    At the same time though, be fun. Try to go out and do fun things together when you can.
     
  8. johan

    johan Active Member

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    Instead of looking at it as "rushing in too fast"...consider it from this angle.

    What is making you back down? What is making you uncomfortable with moving ahead?

    Believe me, MOST people, when they've found the right person, don't really think about moving more slowly.

    It's like finally opening the door to a wondrous land, (after many many wrong doors) and you can't wait to rush through and get into heaven...NOW!


    When it's more than just an infatuation or crush, your mind automatically starts moving to the future. I hope you understand this point.

    So if you're getting subtle signals to slow down, or worse, reverse direction....ask yourself: why am I feeling this way?

    Trust your intuitive body. Think about it a while, and engage your mind to help you put into words what your intuition already knows. I hope you understand this point too.
     
  9. page

    page New Member

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    You just explained my SO's and I's relationship :bowdown: :wiggle:
     

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