Falling for your best Friend, have you?

Discussion in 'Vaginarium' started by Darrin, Jun 19, 2005.

  1. Darrin

    Darrin Eat. Sleep. Arrest People.

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2005
    Messages:
    3,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    Its a while gone but i remember roughly 2 years ago me and my best friend (girl) would spend alot of time together at school, and see alot of each other outside also. Eventually i could tell her feelings were getting alot stronger towards me, but at that time i was seeing another girl but had real strong feelings for my best friend.

    Obviously i broke up with this girl i was seeing, got drunk one night and it ruined all friendship we had. 2yrs on we barely speak now.





    has anyone else been as silly as i was?
     
    Last edited: Jun 19, 2005
  2. lauren

    lauren Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Messages:
    38,880
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Palo Alto, CA
    yup. best friend, hung out 24/7...dated for 3+ years, broke up, ruined my life for a while, we still talk, but it will never be the same.


    thats the short verison. haha.
     
  3. Improvolone

    Improvolone New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 20, 2005
    Messages:
    3,843
    Likes Received:
    0
    My best relationships have been with those I am friends with.
     
  4. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2001
    Messages:
    13,610
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    lovely orlando
    :werd: i agree... for some reason, i don't have any interest in a relationship with a guy until we're friends. in fact, i become more attracted to someone the longer i hang around them.

    i am attracted to personality and everything that goes along with it. it's imperative that the guy possess brain capacity. i LOVE to learn, and being told things that are, imo, way above my head, is such a turn on. (it goes along with the smart key ;).)

    aww... don't be bitter, guys. :) even if the relationships didn't work out so well, only YOU can turn it into a negative experience. no one can take away the positive times you had together. every experience should teach us about life and ourselves. :)
     
  5. Tornado6

    Tornado6 When the wind set down in funnel form and pulled y

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2004
    Messages:
    1,188
    Likes Received:
    0
    At one time, my best friend also happened to be my best FWB. We were perfectly happy with the situation at the time. A while after the fact, I realized that we could have been a great couple, if we would have gone that way with things. We didn't. I think we've both remained perfectly happy with how things went down between us.
     
  6. Darrin

    Darrin Eat. Sleep. Arrest People.

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2005
    Messages:
    3,074
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    UK
    probably for the best tornado, i miss the friendship i had :(
     
  7. Tornado6

    Tornado6 When the wind set down in funnel form and pulled y

    Joined:
    Dec 9, 2004
    Messages:
    1,188
    Likes Received:
    0
    I miss him too, we've moved away from each other, both had families, etc. It wasn't a bad breakup that forced us apart though.

    You probably would have eventually drifted apart anyway. Not that many people are able to maintain lifelong friendships with our extremely mobile societies. (Although the UK is a bit smaller geographically ;) )
     
  8. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2004
    Messages:
    1,101
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    ,,,_(õ_Ô)_,,,
    Why is that, I'm much the same. especially the last couple of years. :o

    It took me a long time to realize just how true that statement is.
     
  9. J R B

    J R B The pink pills are for your sanity, we are buried

    Joined:
    Jan 21, 2004
    Messages:
    2,168
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Nova Scotia
    My current girlfriend of 6+ months has been my best friend since high school (I am 20 now). I couldn't imagine a better relationship, I have never been so happy my whole life.
     
  10. swisher59

    swisher59 New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 16, 2005
    Messages:
    80
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Yay Area, CA
    hmm i would say 9 times out of 10 a relationship never works out with a best friend. has anyone heard of ladder theory? in short, it says women keep their men in two different groups--friends and guys they bang. the further along you are in each ladder, the more unlikely you can cross over. as a best friend, you'll never be able to cross over.
     
  11. Carpet Liquor

    Carpet Liquor New Member

    Joined:
    Nov 26, 2004
    Messages:
    1,101
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    ,,,_(õ_Ô)_,,,
    Actually it goes a bit different than that, if you search this forum, there is a link to a very detailed ladder theory explaination.
     
  12. themacstallion

    themacstallion The electric sheep are dreaming up your fate

    Joined:
    Jan 3, 2005
    Messages:
    1,509
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Atlanta, GA
    yup, im dating her now...i love her alot and im really happy now. i usually date girls that have been my friends for a while and it makes for better relationships.
     
  13. TGrant

    TGrant New Member

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2005
    Messages:
    120
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Columbus
    If your best freind turns into your girlfriend.......you break up......you should never speak again.

    If your girlfriend and you break up.....it is possible to be freinds
     
  14. RedVsBlue

    RedVsBlue Penguins > *

    Joined:
    Dec 28, 2004
    Messages:
    7,705
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Another reality apparently
    My baby girl, was a close friend first. Now she is my best friend, and I am hers. Friendship is a necessary part of a relationship, because the physical feelings for each other might not always be there every second of every day. To care about someone you have to be thier friend, so love someone you have to care, because if you dont care...you WILL end up hurting them.

    Most people mistake lust for love. Ive never seen a relationship work were people just became lovers first and they didnt have the friendship foundation. Im not saying it doesnt happen, but I have never seen it.
     
  15. the ground folds

    the ground folds rest your trigger on my finger

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2002
    Messages:
    9,599
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    norcal
    similar story, except we don't talk. Havent for a year and a half now. At least you got something out of yours.
     
  16. kai-li

    kai-li New Member

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2004
    Messages:
    1,675
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Newstead QLD
    Yeah and I dated another guy and we weren't friends for almost 3~4 years, the other dude turned out to be a dick, my best friend and I got to be friends again... dated.. and then got married.

    But... it doesn't seem it was for the best.. and now we will probably never be best friends again,

    I really think its best to make your SO your best friend... rather than your best friend being your SO... the latter hurts too much
     
  17. Bruticus

    Bruticus half dead OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2004
    Messages:
    4,608
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Melbourne
    Im not sure you can really say which will hurt more or less, they will both hurt a shitload :p

    And so far I've kept great friends and relationships seperate, but always become friends first.
     
  18. ISO9002

    ISO9002 New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2005
    Messages:
    249
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    townhouse, usa
    This always happens to everyone!
    Most of my ex are from friends -> best friends -> gf -> friends or Good friends w/ benefits! :bigthumb:
    I wanna say, I still love most of them! I do...and care them so much too! I'm a bastard, according to some of you I may!
     
  19. [HRT]Squirrel Master

    [HRT]Squirrel Master New Member

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2005
    Messages:
    541
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Oregon
    I fell in love with my best friend and have been dating her for 2.5 years now :)

    so yep... I know what you mean.
     
  20. Hvnlydevil8

    Hvnlydevil8 OT Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 14, 2002
    Messages:
    1,079
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Georgia
    :hs: Thats all I have to say at the current time.... :hs:
     
  21. MovieMan84

    MovieMan84 Here we go

    Joined:
    Sep 10, 2002
    Messages:
    4,374
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    Redmond
    :werd: Much like Squirrel Master, I've been with my gf for the better part of 3 years and we were really close for probably 5 or 6 years before that. It's had its ups and downs but on the whole I've been really happy with everything. It kinda seems like recently everything is going to shit which is really awkward because usually when I have problems I'd talk to her about it but I find that I don't quite connect with my other friends as well as I do with her. Luckily we're close enough (and things are going to shit more or less because I'm bored/indecisive/worried about the future, not because either of us is playing games) that we'll probably be able to talk about it and be ok. Nonetheless, the warning is there that while I'd say dating a friend is a horribly positive situation you run the risk of really screwing with your friendship.
     
  22. chica&buddies

    chica&buddies Active Member

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2001
    Messages:
    13,610
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    lovely orlando
    agreed... tho people and situations change, i still care for each and every one of them. (hehe, even tho the feeling may not be mutual). many of them have shaped me into the person i am today. :)

    :sad2: i want to keep my friends forever, regardless if we've had a sexual history. sometimes it's easier than others.
     
  23. JohNny T

    JohNny T Guest

    yea i have, we dated for about a month then i found out she we cheating on me with my best guy friend, and i lost both of them as friends....
     
  24. D

    D A guiltless state of self awareness.. The process

    Joined:
    Dec 27, 2004
    Messages:
    4,067
    Likes Received:
    0
    Location:
    •••
    Been there. We still aren't comfortable with each other. It sucks.
     
  25. JohNny T

    JohNny T Guest

    yea it does
     

Share This Page