SRS Falling apart in front of this guy.. How do I stop?

Discussion in 'On Topic' started by Anna28471, Jun 21, 2008.

  1. Anna28471

    Anna28471 New Member

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    For the past few months, I have been going to the gym. This is not only an attempt to improve my physical health but my mental health also - it helps me deal with stress better.

    In the short time that I've been there I have noticed this really cute guy look at me quite often. I know that I should smile or say "Hi" to him but something weird happens when he is around... I freeze. I'm like a deer in the headlights. Either that or, I'm a nervous wreck.. completely self-concious. I start to get uptight, have this kind of pissed off look on my face because I'm trying to hold back the urge to giggle. I'm afraid he's starting to notice and I'm ruining my chances with him.. How can I be more comfortable? More friendly? I don't want to parade myself around the gym like a tramp, that's not me... but I don't want to be an uptight prude either.. it's so hard finding a decent balance.
     
  2. eljefedetonto

    eljefedetonto OT Supporter

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    Xanax? I dunno, I'll tell you the same thing I tell guys going through the same thing: go say hi. Or at least make an indication that he's got the okay to come to you.

    I doubt you're ruining your chances, though. As a guy, I think it's cute when a girl gets all flustered when I look at her and I don't think I'm alone on that.
     
  3. Saluki

    Saluki New Member

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    :werd: To all of that! Go say hi, it'll help your nerves later and he'll know it's ok to come and talk to you later.
     
  4. hsugh knight

    hsugh knight Guest

    do this :hsd: next time you see him
     
  5. 04JETTA

    04JETTA OT Supporter

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    not to sound like a broken record but :werd:
     
  6. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    You are too judgmental of yourself and others. Try stopping that. Next time you judge someone just remind yourself that they are a flawed human just like you and they're simply doing the best they can right at that moment.

    This is so hard for women to do because many of you look to others for validation of yourselves. You are constantly comparing yourselves to someone else to make sure you're still OK. Obviously not all women are like this and there are great numbers that aren't....however, it's quite common in my experience for many women, particularly young ones, to be extremely judgmental.

    This is all based on a lack of self confidence and respect for others.

    Stop worrying what others will think. FUCK THEM. Just be yourself because guess what, no matter how hard you try, some people will still judge you badly. So why not stop worrying about it, accept that they'll do it then just be yourself. Fuck 'em if they don't understand.

    Smiling and being friendly is not the same as parading yourself around the gym like a slut. Life is not as black and white like you want it to be....there are many shades of gray in between and you should really spend some time exploring those shades of gray.....like seriously.
     
  7. Anna28471

    Anna28471 New Member

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    That is exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you!
     
  8. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Anytime

    Oh and when can we expect to see pics of you as a gym slut?
    :rofl: I kid, I kid.

    Just relax and enjoy getting to know this guy then go down to Freakyshiat and post pics of your two getting it on! :x: :hsd:

    :wavey:
     
  9. durka x 3

    durka x 3 New Member

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    Invisible game at work. Priceless.
     
  10. Anna28471

    Anna28471 New Member

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    I went to the gym earlier but he was not there but there was a group of guys there that he sometimes talks to. A few weeks back, I was working out with the free weights near them and when I was finished I noticed he (the cute guy) went over to them and said something.. Probably about me because hey turned around and looked at me. Anyhow, while I was on the treadmill one of the guys- turned around, looked at me and said something but I didn't catch what it was because I had my headphones on. I don't think it was anything big because the people around me didn't respond to it and I know they heard it.. I should have asked someone what he said but I didn't. This is too weird.. :ugh:
     
  11. 1stgenrocks

    1stgenrocks New Member

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    just say hi or ask him to spot you on weights the next time hes there
     
  12. Coottie

    Coottie BOOMER......SOONER OT Supporter

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    Why is this weird...you're making it weird because of your judgments. Stop doing that.....seriously just go with the flow.

    You didn't hear the guy. Most people would pull out the ear buds and say, "What?" or "Sorry....didn't hear you. What'd you say?" or something like that.

    You're acting like this is so strange. Have you never met a stranger before? Have you never been approached by a guy?
     
  13. Anna28471

    Anna28471 New Member

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    Yes. And yes. I have been approached by guys before and I am at ease with most of them. There are a few here and there such as this guy that make me nervous to the point where I can't handle it and want to run. I've blown more than my fair share of chances with really good guys because of this.. which is why I've come here for help. I've been single for too long and have only had 3 boyfriends my entire life. I don't know why I freak out when a guy shows interest but I do. I know I should walk up to him and say "Hi" but when he is there I freeze-- at times. I can't even look at him.. It's like part of me shuts down and the defenses come up immediately.

    I know I am f**ked up. :(
     

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